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THE KATE ADIE ISSUE 20-3-06
Congratulations to Fulham for joining the elite club that can claim to have beaten Jose's Chelsea in the league. Of course, Manchester City, Manchester United and now Fulham are worthy of significant praise, but let's remember that they only scrapped 1-0 wins. There's only one team in England who've given them a thrashing. Who's that team they call the Boro, eh?
Meanwhile, during Sky Sports' coverage of Fulham's win over Chelsea, Andy Gray continued his descent into madness by berating referee Mike Dean for getting a decision right. "He couldn't have seen it," claimed the Scotsman of Dean's decision to disallow Didier Drogba's goal for a handball by the Ivorian. Gray then added, "He didn't mention the bad decision he made that could've cost Fulham in the first half," after Dean had come on live television justifying his decision.
For Chrissakes, it's bad enough that you devote over an hour to pull apart every incorrect refereeing decision. Are you really going to start having a go at officials for making correct ones? You should be ashamed of yourself, Mr. Gray.
Let's do this.....
"But you're just perpetuating a negative Italian-American stereotype. I mean, you could be a pizza man, organ grinder, uh, leaning tower maker, and, uh. did I say pizza man?"
Three Middlesbrough fans were stabbed and a further twelve hospitalised as troubled erupted in Piazza Campo dei Fiori in Rome on Tuesday night.
Hundreds of travelling Middlesbrough fans had chosen a pub called The Drunken Ship as a meeting point and, just after midnight, were attacked by a large group of AS Roma Ultras armed with baseball bats, flares, knives, tables, chairs and an axe.
Some bloke called James Bassett told Sky News, "A group of Boro fans were revelling in the occasion, when a large gang of Ultras stormed the square, throwing flares at first and then tables and chairs. The municipal police arrived, but they didn't seem especially keen to confront the Ultras."
The self-same media whore was then heard on Channel Four news saying, "Boro fans were being understandably buoyant - after all, it's not every day Boro play in Rome - dancing in the square and in a nearby fountain, but I'm absolutely convinced that this was not a reaction by the Romans to any perceived wrong-doing by the English, but an organised, pre-ordained attack by a bunch of mindless thugs."
"We've siphoned off extra power from the orphanage. Who are they going to complain to? Their parents?"
AS Roma beat Middlesbrough 2-1 on Wednesday night, a result that ensured Steve McClaren's team marched into the quarter final draw on the away goals rule.
Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink delivered a sensational performance as a foil to Yakubu in the first half and a lone-striker in the second but told ITV4 that the team still have a lot of work to do if they are to win the Uefa Cup this season. "There are still some very good sides in the competition, and we're only in the quarter finals," said Hasselbaink, metaphorically pissing on everyone's chips.
Meanwhile, Gareth Southgate, another of the outstanding players on the night, told ITV4, "It has to be the best night in the club's history. To come here, we knew they were a good side and they showed it. We took all our strikers off," claimed Southgate, showing scant regard for Hasselbaink's input, "and didn't seem to get out of our half. But we managed to soak it up. Credit to everybody. It took guts and we had something to hang onto."
Steve McClaren, however, was just on the verge of getting carried away when asked whether Boro could win the competition. "Why not?" McClaren pondered, "If you get luck and you get the defining moments going your way, who knows?"
Roma coach, Luciano Spalletti, however, bemoaned his side's exit from the competition, telling ITV4, "I have to say over the two legs, we were much better than Middlesbrough and we deserved more," he wailed, "but there's no point talking about that now." At last we agree on something, Luciano.
"You'll do as I say, or I'll have your badges... once I make and give you your badges."
After nearly eight-and-a-half hours of humdrum Uefa nonsense, Middlesbrough were drawn against Swiss league leaders Basel in the quarter finals of the Uefa Cup.
Bizarrely naming Schalke 04, Sevilla, and eleventh-placed Russian side, Zenit St. Petersburg as the 'big guns', Steve McClaren told Sky Sports News that he is satisfied with the draw. "We're quite confident, they've beaten very good sides to get where they are but so have we and it's an opportunity for both clubs to get to the semi-final," McClaren said, pointing out the bleeding obvious.
The other quarter final ties are: Sevilla V Zenit St. Petersburg, Rapid Bucharest v Steaua Bucharest and Levski Sofia v Schalke 04.
Middlesbrough's first-leg is scheduled to be shown on Thursday, 30th March on ITV4. Any Newcastle fans reading this column may be interested to know that according to www.digitalspy.co.uk, on the Thursday 30th March episode of The Bill "Hardworking Detective Inspector Neil Manson's day gets off to a bad start when he meets with James Tennant to explain that Sun Hill have to scale down the investigation into his missing daughter, Amy. Their conversation is interrupted when DC Suzie Sim tells Neil his seven-year-old son Jake has gone missing from school. After a long search, and with the help of Suzie, the single dad is eventually reunited with Jake but after this scare, will Neil's priorities change?"
There, now you've got no excuse not to tune in to ITV4 and bask in our reflected glory.
"You know, I've had a lot of jobs: boxer, mascot, astronaut, imitation Krusty, baby proofer, trucker, hippy, plough driver, food critic, conceptual artist, grease salesman, carny, mayor, drifter, bodyguard for the mayor, country-western manager, garbage commissioner, mountain climber, farmer, inventor, Smithers, Poochie, celebrity assistant, power plant worker, fortune cookie writer, beer baron, Kwik-E-Mart clerk, homophobe, and missionary - but protecting Springfield. that gives me the best feeling of all."
Steve McClaren admitted that he was disappointed with his side's performance in their 3-2 defeat to Blackburn at Ewood Park on Saturday.
"I thought it was an opportunity to get something here, and it is disappointing to lose," McClaren moaned to Sky Sports having watched Craig Bellamy run his side ragged almost single-handedly, "It was a poor performance and we defended poorly all afternoon."
"That is not like us to concede three goals and it could have been more. Credit must go to Blackburn and we could not handle Bellamy," claimed McClaren, "It was a disappointing performance and a disappointing result."
For once, I don't think a single Boro fan would disagree with him.
The Skinny
I, like thousands of other Boro fans, enjoyed the trip to Rome immensely and can't remember ever being prouder of the club and its fans than I was as we chanted "shall we sing a song for you?" to an empty Stadio Olimpico after the game. However, there are dozens of Boro fans who had the entire trip marred by the actions of some imbecilic scumbags.
Romans are an intensely proud people, and they're right to be. After all, their city is one of the most historically important and culturally rich in the world. Aligned to this, the Romans I've spoken to since the events of Tuesday evening have suggested that the Ultras attack was a reaction to several Boro fans dancing and singing in the fountain in the Piazza Campo dei Fiori. This is unequivocal nonsense.
Perhaps the English nation as a whole should learn to be more considerate to other nations' sensitivities, but there is absolutely no justification for the attacks that took place on innocent Boro fans. And besides, does anybody actually think that dancing and singing in a fountain really warrants a knife to the chest? I think not.
I, like many others, found the general population of Rome to be decent, friendly and welcoming, but unfortunately, the behaviour of the moronic shitbags that attacked us might have soured the relationship between the two clubs and, furthermore, the two towns irrevocably.
Finally, I can't help but think that if the Middlesbrough fans had been responsible for the violence, England would have been thrown out of the forthcoming World Cup. Your move, FIFA.
And with that....
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