|
|
BIG LAWRY'S REGIONAL ROUND UP 11-8-05
He's a living legend from around the working men's clubs on Wearside. He brings with him his somewhat forthright and confusing views on the game and how it should be played. And a bit of an unhealthy interest in big strong young men. Big Lawrence Fullwell - The North-east's top illiterate football writer.
Alreet? Well I'm back again to entertain yer smogs like a black tin cat on a hot roof like.
The season stared in earnest last week for the football league but not the mighty Sunderland as we are now officially the top team in the north east as yous n the toon haven't beat us for two seasons. Mind you, you haven't played us for two seasons but that never counted in my book.
The Pools had a poor start, losing 2-0 and then drawing 1-1. I see old Darlo grabbed a point away from home, drawing 1-1 before going on to win 2-0. So Darlo will be as happy as a sand dune. But it is early days yet and only a man with no arms and a spanner for his bait box would dare make a prediction from the first couple of results like.
Anyway I was watching the old cricket on the telly this Sunday. My normal Sunday would be walking the dog in the park and watching the nice young lads playing with each other on the footie pitch, but the local season hasn't kicked off yet either. So as I was saying like I watched a bit of the old leather on widow. And I tell ya what, that Andrew Flintoff is a big strap on lad. Imagine having one of his hard balls coming in yer face...
But the real action starts this week and I see the Boro have tried to sign that little winger from Sporting Lebanon who ran ya ragged last season in the ufea cup. In my opinion he is just not up to premier standard so ya wasting your time on that one. I like my players to be big and hard and stand up when needed. None of these little short arse bandits like that twat who gans in the Benwell Labour Club.
Anyway the toon have fucked themselves up the Khyber like the old battery charge of the light brigade. It was funny to see em lose in that inter totty thing, so no European action for that shower of shite this year unless they book one of them holidays off the interweb like Mick and Betty from the Red Lion did.
We have again dipped into the transfer market this week and got the Le Tellecom guy from Liverpool on a seasons long loan. And we also grabbed hold of big Alan Stubbs. Now he is a player right up my drive way. A big strong lad with plenty of experience and very good from behind. So there's another couple of top quality signings and now we will be flying on Saturday and I will soon be proved right in my prediction for Sunderland to finish higher than yous lot.
So come Saturday I will be glued to the box like a mackerel fillet down yer bog. Mind you, wor lass has been fucking whingeing again. "I am not watching football every neet" she says. So I teld her to bugger off to her mother's then 'cos I am watching football every neet and I am the bread winner in this house.
Then she points out that I've been on incapacity benefit for 30 years. But I teld her that me back gives us some gyp on a morning like and I would just love to be grafting like all the lads but I just can't, honest.
Anyway so its predictions time for the north east teams this coming weekend..
The toon have got a really big one up the Arsenal. Its always tight and I reckon they will come unstuck there. So its Arsenal 3 Toon 0
The Boro. Well ya see you lot are OK at home and Liverpool didn't perform last season in the league, so I am fucked if I know how they became European champions like. I think a close encounter of the third kind like that movie the village of the dammed with Tom Hanks in will be the order of the day. So its Boro 1-1 Liverpool
The mighty Sunderland. Well we have Charlton and it brings back memories of the legendary play-off final at Wembley. What a day that was. So on the back of our obvious quality and Charlton being a London club, I think we will be victorious like. Like Brazil in the 1998 World Cup. Sunderland 2 - 0 Charlton
Pools will grab a point away at Doncaster and Darlo will do the old three-point card trick all over the Orient and laugh in there faces as they steal their watches.
So that's about me for this week as I am off to walk the dog. Mind you, wor lass has been talking to that gobshite next door who fills her heed with all kinds of fucking stupid ideas and she comes back saying "I know why ye taking the dog out every neet. Ya going doing that doggin an that."
Honest lads, I divvn't nae what the fuck she was on about. So I searched the old google on the web and I was shocked in me guts. I couldn't believe it! There was tits 'n' fanny's all over the shop and that doggin'... some big guy and his missus down the car park in Roker seafront. Disgusting it was.
So I have went and ordered that broadband. Its quicker to download the football statistics like, honest. Anyway I am off to walk the dog down Roker sea front car park. So I will see ya next week.
Up the Sunderland!
Big Lawry
BACK TO BIG LAWRY INDEX
|
|
|
|
