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BIG LAWRY'S REGIONAL ROUND UP 24-8-05
Alreet? Now then, before yer start I knaw what yer gonna say about the Sunderland and us getting beat off Liverpool on Saturday but we was robbed and that referee was a basterd homosexual if ya ask me. I could tell by the way he walked.
We played them off the park at Anfield. We should have won at least 4-0 but in the end we didn't have a shot on target and lost 1-0.
And again on Tuesday we played like Roy of the Rovers and we still didn't end up with nothing points wise as we lost 2-1. We are just not getting rubbed off on the green like at the moment. But Big Mick will not panic yet and I see us rising from the ashes like a dying swan wearing leather trousers.
But you lot got stuffed by them Spurs like a bord being spit roasted by a gang of Newcastle players. So I hear that your boss is trying to off load Viduka? well he needs to off load a few pounds first. Last time I saw him play I thought wor lass had signed for the Boro.
Am not saying she's a big lass mind but I have to roll her in flour and aim for the wet bits like when I try and give her a bit of the old carnival knowledge. Mind you saying all that bout Viduka, he did perform mid week when yer wiped Brum off the map 3-0, so maybe he has decided to get his arse into gear like.
So again the toon have proved that they fucking stink like wor mother in law after she has pebble dashed the shithouse on a Sunday dinnertime. They couldn't even beat West Ham with ten men and Shearer looks knackered already and he has only played two games for fuck's sake.
Waste of time all of them. Big club, my arse. I remember the 'sack the board' days when they couldn't even fill half their ground. At least we have the sense to give free tickets away.
Now then, Darlo had a canny result away at Grimsby and I reckon they will be up for a bit of back door sneaking up the old play off G-spot like. And Pools have started to look as solid as one of them French cross dresser cabinet things me granny had. They have some canny players there and a 1-1 draw at home against Walsall was a good result if yer ask me.
But in the Caring cup mid-week it was the big derby. Pools v Darlo and there was more action there then I could handle when I was listening to Sky Sports, I nearly split my horlicks all over my bollocks as the game ended 3-1 to the Pools.
So what else has been going on this week then? Well I went to the doctors yesterday and he says I gotta cut down on the tabs 'n' booze like. So I teld him if he was married to wor lass and the shite I have to put up with he would be on 60 woodbines a day and a few cans of Special Brew as well.
I mean for fuck's sake lads. I only ask her to wash me clothes, cook me meals and tidy the house and you would think I ask her to do everything the way she goes on when I come home after a few pints down the club.
So this weekends big football predictions by Big Lawry...
The mighty Sunderland have a trip all the way to Wigan and I reckon we can blow them off with some style like. The luck will change and I see plenty of plusses in our performances of late and we look class at times in spite of playing shite. Wigan are a bag of wank and I see us grabbing 3 points and all the glory. So I go for Wigan 0 Sunderland 2.
The toon have a tough one and will get a right spanking on the arse, like a naughty school boy with his cap in hand. Man U look as sharp as a knife through batter at the moment and I see a massive victory for the Red Devils. It's gonna be Toon 0 Man U 4.
You lot have Charlton at home and after a decent looking display in midweek you will be all wetting yerselfs like a young lad seeing his sister's mates bra in the washing basket. Charlton are pretty crap. Mind you they beat us so they must be class like. I say you lot will have a go but Charlton will be a hard one to pull off. Lawry says Boro 1 Charlton 1.
So what of the Pools this weekend? They have a tricky trip to Lancashire to take on the terriers of Huddersfield. I once met a lad from Huddersfield in Whitley Bay public toilets called Justin. He was a nice young lad and offered me a hand job for a tenner, but I teld him I can't work cause of me bad back and the social will catch me fiddling the dole like.
Still to this day I have no idea why he was looking for guys to work for him in the toilets like. Anyway Pools look OK after a shaky old start and I fancy them to be as rampant as Betty from the club's rabbit that she is always talking about. So it's Huddersfield 0 Pools 1.
Darlo have a trip to Chester and after a good solid work out in midweek I fancy them to get all aroused again at the thought of Chester being laid out before them like. I fancy a Darlo victory on this one. So I go for Chester 1 Darlo 2.
So that's about it for me this week. I got a few busy days ahead as we need the front room decorating and I have to sit and watch wor lass like a hawk in case she fucks it up like last time. Women, eh lads?
Up the Sunderland and down the toon
Cheers
Big Lawry
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