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BIG LAWRY'S REGIONAL ROUND UP 15-9-05
Right Then. Its time for some education of the third-world footballing
kind on this smog monster site.
So how is the world in the Boro land of oz then?
Did yers all
follow the yellow brick road like, all the way to three points against the Gunners?
I watched
the game down the club like and I was impressed by that bald heeded
twat you have that used to be a crap striker and has now turned into a right
winger.
On the whole you lot look OK to me. I still think you don't have enough length mind you and with length
comes width and when you have both you can sit back and watch the
juices flow.
I see tonight yer have some team called Zantis at home. Who the
fuck are they like?
Is that a local Greek kebab shop team from the five-a-side league?
Bit unfair of UEFA to stick Boro against them if that's the case.
Did anyone see the Toon on Saturday? I pissed meself laughing.
What is that defence doing? I have seen more concentration from a 14 year
old schoolboy with wanker's cramp than from that shower of shite that claims it's a defence.
Poor Michael Owen must be looking at his contract small print to see if
he can get out and quick. Mind you I still say that the Toon won't go
down. They are a lucky bunch of sods them lot and like a gyspy on acid at his Granny's funeral, they will still be
around at the end.
So the mighty Sunderland. We gave old Chelsea a right good time but in
the end we didn't have the finishing thrust to come out on top of
'em. I see a gradual improvement in our
performances and my prediction that we might just sneak a point before
Christmas is looking good.
I think big Mick Mac's plan is to let us
break our own record of losing games in a row. And once that is acheived we
will be record breakers and blow Roy Castle's
trumpet all the way up the table like.
Old Hartlepools never let me down on me bookies footie coupon and
they ran out winners over a decent Blackpool side after going one nil
down. And there is nothing I like to see more than eleven young men coming from
behind.
Darlo had a decent away point in a cracking 2-2 draw with some
geezer called Ndumbu-Nsungu scoring for 'em. By the way, what kind of fucking name is
that? Last time I heard that being said it was when I was muff diving
wor lass and she asked what the time was while I was down there.
So what else have I got for yer this week then? Well I enjoyed
England taking The Ashes home at last. He must have been a small bloke
that they burned to fit in that tiny little thing, wor lass said as she watched
the TV. What a fucking
stupid sod she is. Some of the shite I have to put up with I tell yer.
Anways I got chatted to a lad in the club the other day and he was
telling us all about this webcam sex chat like. Well I use the net for
me footie research like but I couldn't believe
that these bords get their kit off on the net for ya like. Fuck me.
So I
went and got one of these webcam things and was all set up for a go of
it like when wor lass walked in and caught us wanking on the bloody
thing! I had a hell of a job telling her I
was only messing around and was making a clip to send off to Jeremy
Beadle's 'You've Been Framed' on the telly like.
So lets have a look at this week's action. First up, like a rat on the ale is Blackburn v the Toon.
Now this one is a tasty one. I fancy Blackburn to stuff it right
up the Toon and then make 'em swallow it. But I predict a stormy tense
affair with a sending off or two.
I cant see the Toon getting out of this one.
So its Blackburn 2 Toon 0.
You lot travel to Wigan who have improved of late and bearing in
mind you lot normally play shite after a European game, I see Wigan
grabbing ya by the bollocks here like and then poking yer with the hard
shaft of defeat. You lot could grab a point but I can't see it myself.
Wigan 1 Boro 0.
Well now Sunderland. I mean what can I say? West Brom are there
for the taking and I predict that this is our moment. I can not see us
messing this one up at all.
We have it all in place. The players are keen and our free ticket
crowd will roar them on. So with that in mind I see the Black Cats marching all over the
Brummies and we will be the ones smiling come Saturday evening. I go for Sunderland 2 West Brom 0.
Pools travel to the Welsh twats Swansea so the 'pools fans who make
the journey had better like haggis. Swansea scored seven last week but using my vast knowledge of the game, I can predict that they won't this week. I go for a tight scoring draw. Swansea 2 'pools 2.
Darlo have the visit of Oxford and I don't mean the university
either. I predict that Darlo will dish out a nice hard spanking on the young firm rosy bottoms of the Oxford boys like a school master with a big
leather strap. So I go for Darlo 3 Oxford 0.
Well that's me for this week.
I am off down the Post Office to cash me giro like. Mind you the
queue is bloody massive these days with all them bloody pensioners in
there scrounging of the state.
Cheers lads. Up the Black Cats.
We are Sunderland and we are Sunderland.
BACK TO BIG LAWRY INDEX
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