Regional Round Up 19-10-05

Alreet? Well the time has come for the two giants of North East football to cross their swords and fight it out like a good old fashioned cock fight before the animal rights lot got wind of me and me mates getting our cocks out for fights on a Sunday after a few pints on a afternoon. But more on the derby later like.

On paper the last week looked as shocking as a transsexual running for a bus. With all the teams from the region losing apart from you lot. But the whole picture is never what it seems unless you see the future and then it becomes a bit clear from my point of view. If ya follow me like.

So first I will start off with the Sunderland game next week. I still cannot believe the Sunderland lost to Man U last week like. We bloody played them off the park like a jawdee doing a runner from Aldi with a tin of beans down his pants like.

But we lost 3-1 and it was not the same game I was watching I tell you. Mind you we keep on doing it that way for long enough it is sure to come off in a big way for us.

I see Newcastle got nailed by Wigan. Now that was a shame for them but not me like. And all the poor black n whites up the road are now demanding video replays and shite like that. Well it was different when Shearer was in his prime and kept knocking seven colours of shite out of the defenders and getting away with it. So where was the video replays then eh? Meself it proved to me that lot up the road are just sore from spanking they got from Wigan.

So you lot eh?? I just cant understand yerselfs at all like. I mean you go and play utter rubbish against Pompey n I should know I watched the bloody thing in the club.

I only needed you lot to win and I would have had me coupon up like! I nearly fell asleep first half propped against the bar and had to be touched up by the barman to wake us up like. Second half it got a bit better but I still thought you lot were not much kop. Some direction missing from yer play n yer look like a schoolboy team but without the tight shorts and canny legs.

So what about the Pools and the Darlo like eh? Well another poor outing from both teams really and I have a few doubts now about the respective credentials of both clubs with their push for the play offs like. Pools have just not started at all and need something to arouse themselves and gain a bit of stiff resolve to get up there in the right end of the table. While Darlo started ok and looked good and firm with no major drama until they slipped out and now have a struggle to force themselves back in the hard way.

So what else has been going on this week then I hear you ask? Well you would not believe what happened to me the other day like.

Wor lass tells us that she is ganning to one of them Ann Summers party things. So I told her that she better not be coming back in the house with all kinds of filth as I am not having no wife of mine becoming some sex crazed housewife like.

So she only come back from this party with all kinds of the stuff. There was dildos the size of brown ale bottles and fluffy handcuffs honest lads it was disgusting it nearly put me of me fish supper like. So the next day I find all this gear and hide in somewhere she will never find it. In the old outside bog where I store me home brew like.

So couple of days later the bloody council turn up to repair the roof on the outside loo as I asked em to six months ago mind. So they find all this sex aid gear and then go and ask wor lass where to move the personal effects they found in the outside loo. So wor lass goes and tells em that its all her husbands anyway so stick in his computer room!! When I come home the council lads all look at me funny call me big boy and walk with the backs to the wall while I am around.

So without further a dildo lets have a look at this weekend's games .

It's the big one Newcastle v Sunderland. I meself can't make it as I am bloody skint but I will be down the club like with all me gear on cheering on the red n white black cats.

As I write this I hear Owen has done his hamstring in, and if he is out injured then it's a massive boost for us and we should be standing erect come kick off time at that massive news. In my opinon like the jawdees are nowt special and will prove themselves so, if we put ourselves about like we have been doing of late then I see us being tight and hard and there is no way that Newcastle will find a easy way in to slip one inside us without Owen in the team.

My prediction is for an away win but we need to find a spark from somewhere and I think young Tommy Miller is that very man. He has been performing like a man obsessed and he knows how to turn a chance into a real chance not to mention his powering thrusts into the box.
So I go for Newcastle 0 Sunderland 1

Boro. Well if you lot read the script like an actor on centre stage then you would be up for an Oscar as I have not a clue how you will play beforehand like one of those murder mysteries they do in the Dog and Duck every month.

That big Yakyburoah geezer has been banging em out all over the place so that's a plus but apart from that I dunno.

West Ham have been ok but I don't see no depth to their diving equipment either.
I go for a West ham 1 Boro 1

Hartlepool have MK Dons at home who used to be Wimbledon which had confused me well and truly. So with that move in mind and the fact that this MK City Dons Rovers are dropping quicker than a jawdee girls suspender belt
I say Pools 2 Wimbledon MK Don Utd 0

Darlo have a home game against Cheltenham. I see Darlo have signed former Boro player Phil Stamp to add to the other 23 ex Boro players they have in the team.

I don't know much about Cheltenham apart from the Gold Cup so I have to hold my hands up and be honest like a butcher with crabs on his knife.
I say Darlo 1 Cheltenham 0

So that's me for this week. I am as nervous as Dave was when he thought he had the clap I tell yer about this big game.

Up the Sunderland
Remember only Sunderland can say
We are Sunderland
Say we are Sunderland.

Big lawry.

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