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Lawrence Fullwell
The north-east's leading voice on the world of football
Alreet lads? Big Lawry back here to entertain with my footballing wit and knowledge.
So then, what a weekend of football we just had eh? I mean who would have thought you lot would go and stick it right up Manchester United's back alley like yer did? Newcastle scrapped another lucky win. And we lost again.
I was at the Sunderland game myself like and I was happy with the general way of the game up until half time like. After that I dunno what the hell went on but it was worse than watching BBC2 on a day time. You know the feeling when you just can't believe you are watching this shite but you cant take your eyes of it all the same.
I mean in the second half they done us in every position all over that field and it must have hurt afterwards in the dressing room after such a severe seeing too. We lost 4-1 from being one nowt up and I sense the tide is turning in the camp like.
We need to have a good long hard session in training to work out the men from the boys. Some of the lads are just not pulling themselves off in the style that we need to go off and move on.
So back to the other teams. You lot I watched on pay per view, not that I paid for it mind. I'm on incapacity me like. I watched it in the club with the lads.
I tell yer what, I have never seen such a display from Man. United. They were shocking. You lot looked sharp but on that display Man U couldn't beat South Shields.
Newcastle went and beat a very poor West Brom team with Michael Owen banging 'em in. I tell yer what though, if he is still at St James' next year I will eat my mother-in-law's cooking.
But still, no matter what they have that clown Boumsong in defence and when he is there anything can go wrong. He looks like he has been playing banjo in the park with his pants down, if ya catch me drift like.
Hartlepools have had two good wins on the bounce and are now looking very hot and up for the action. Last night I hear they were rather flamboyant and looked a class above and they must be hoping it can continue on so they might grab a play off spot. But still there is a chance it could all go wrong, like when big Neville pulled that transsexual in Blackpool by mistake.
Darlo lost again I am sorry to say. They need a bit of constancy and some good hard work in the shaft and that should be certain to dig out all the hard men and none of these pufter types with their nice died blonde hair and lovely tanned muscled legs. Makes me wonder I tell yer.
So what else has been happening this week? Well lads you would not believe what went on the other day. I had to take the dog to the vets so I got ready and asked wor lass where the dog's vets documents were like.
So the first thing the vet asked for were the papers so I handed them to her. She looked at the papers and then looked at me and said, "Hysterectomy"? So I says "what?" and the vets says this is a form from the hospital for an appointment, so I told her I picked up the wrong papers and those will be for me operation next month.
So the vets says are you sure these are your papers? So I said aye deffo like. So she is looking at me all funny and that and says sorry I didn't realise that was the case "Mrs Fullwell" and then she wrote something on the form. Then she sorts the dog out and then I go to leave and she is all red and laughing like.
And to make the visit even worse, when I went to pay the receptionist desk she told me "good luck on your operation "Mrs Fullwell"
Wasn't till I got home and told wor lass and she explained all that I couldn't believe it. Half of sunderland now thinks I am a bloody woman and in the social club I got asked to leave by the committee as women are not allowed on the bar.
Anyway lets have a look at the big games this week.
Sunderland have a very tricky encounter down to the Arsenal which will be wor last visit to Highbury. I myself think we could grab a bit of the Arsenal and give them a shock they won't expect. We have the lads to do the job, it is just we need to make sure we are up for the game and not left standing all limp come kick off time.
Don't get me wrong, The Gunners have some classy players but will they be expecting a whipping backlash from the Sunderland? I go for
Arsenal 1 Sunderland 2.
The Boro have a trip to Everton after tonight's European game so this should be the leveller for me. You lot can't perform after Europe and Everton just cant perform. So I am not expecting a great deal of action here.
In fact it should be tight and will need something special to open up the void. Boro might just do it but I wouldn't like to put any money on it like. I go for a Boro draw, like the darts match last week in the Red Lion when I missed double seven for a win and no one has spoke to me since. Everton 0 Boro 0.
The Jawdees Have Brum at home. I fancy Brum on this one. They have had a poor start and the heat is well and truly on big Steve Bruce. But I recken they will come out fighting like caged tigers and it will be Bruce Steve not Bruce Lee who delivers the knock out blow like that movie Enter The Dragon. Mind you, they will shag anything them Chinese.
I go for Newcastle 0 Brum 1.
So now then the road to glory starts ere with the FA Cup first round. Darlo have a trip to London to take on Barnsley and I fancy them to pull them off and give them a bit of a shock here. Mind you, Barnsley are in a higher division so they will not be easy to jump on and take advantage of. I go for Barnsley 1 Darlo 2.
Hartlepool have a trip to non-league Dagenham and Redbridge and they will have to be careful not to slip up ere and have a shock thrown in there faces like that big lass Mick pulled. He hasn't eaten donner kebab since.
I go for Hartlepools 2 Dagenham & Redbridge 0.
So that's me for this week. I am gonna go and walk wor lass home from work. Stupid tart got lost last week.
See ya soon. And remember there is only Sunderland who can say "we are Sunderland."
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