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Lawrence Fullwell
The Northeast's man with his finger on the ear to the ground in the world of football
Now then lads and lasses of the smog. How yer gannin - alright? Well what a Christmas and new year I had. I was as pissed as a fart. Well to be honest I am as pissed as a fart most of the year but I make a special effort at the festive period to share my drunkenness with the whole family, as it is all about giving and not receiving.
So what about all that football? There was a few shocks that shook the foundations of my house come full time. Mind you that could have been the fifteen pints of best and that lamb madras I had the night before. We had the Tyne Tees Derby which was about as entertaining as the TV station its named after. Talk about two poor teams.
But Sunderland as I have been predicting for sometime have finally turned the corner into a shaven haven and look like we have escaped the Bermuda triangle. Now before yer think "what the hell is this guy on about?" I would like to explain that in our last three performance we have scored an average of 1.1 goal a game and conceded an average of 1.25 a game. Now I am no rocket man like Elton john but I think that is a definite upturn in our fortunes.
If we continue in that vain then we will be relegated. But an improvement is like a marriage. You have to start somewhere before it gets better, and then yer get sick as a twat with all that bloody moaning and going on about me bloody drinking all the time and wor mother in law on the phone every night going on about how she should have married Kenny sodding Watson instead of me.
Erm so where was I? Oh yeah football. Right, so I see Sunderland making a real go a staying up and going the for the jugular and making a real stab at the vulva just in time to see us beat the smogs at the end of January.
Well it looks like time will shortly be called on Souness's time as the toon boss. Myself I feel for the lad and I don't mean feel him in the queer sense either. Mind you he was a fit young lad back in the 70's with his bulging biceps and handle bar moustache so I can understand why a lady would go after such a fine figure of a man. But anyway he has never had the backing of the fans or that chairman at all, and he has been so unlucky with injuries. I mean every player he signs gets injured within a week of getting there.
So I say give him another season. Mainly as I fancy a derby game in the championship over the next few seasons and he looks like he could be the man to deliver Newcastle back in the league they where in before Kevin keegan and all those plastic deluded fans turned up as if nothing had happened like that pie piper with the hamlet cigars.
Speaking of derby games, next season we could be in business as one look at the league table show you lot in a whole world of trouble, like a fish in a mattress. So where has it all gone wrong for you lot? I dunno but everytime I see you lot on Sky yer look disjointed. But you have a few canny players like that Yakubrara fella who is knocking one out all over everyone else. But myself I have an opinion and I think it all went wrong after Sunderland stuffed yer at the Riverside and yer all suffering from shellshock.
So anyway the festive period has been good to both Hartlepool and Darlo they had decent results all round and Hartlepool appear to be making a bit of progress at the moment. But Darlo need some consistency. Mind you it is a bit hard when yer players are all 97 or somat and they get tired out, bless em.
So this weekend sees the FA Cup thirrd round and it's the time for the big boys to look behind them and see the little fellas coming at 'em, sword in hand.
Sunderland have a very tasty little encounter with Northwich and Victoria. Although what the hell Victoria has to do with it is beyond me, she must make the tea or somat. I think Big Mick should play a full strength side as the last thing we want is a slip up and to have this one rammed down our throats for years to come. So I go for Sunderland 3 Northwich 0. Victoria won't be pleased.
Boro have a non league outfit to contend with as well and it will be the battle of the Boro's over in Nuneaton. Nuneaton fans are wetting themselves over this one and are thinking that the Boro are not taking them seriously. But will Big Steve Mac prove he is in charge with a masterful display against the non leaguers with a point to prove and the tools to do it? Buggered if I know lads, so I say a draw on this one. Boro 1 Boro 1.
Newcastle is where the real shock could happen against Mansfield at home. They lack confidence but their sheer weight of class should pull them through this one. That's Mansfield I mean. Newcastle are an utter shambles. The defence is like school boy error time with all that pre puberty masturbation that goes on and I should know from my time when I was that age and played with the lads. So I go for Newcastle 1 Mansfield 2.
Of the other teams this weekend, Hartlepool should grab a point or three at Yeovil and in the bottom flight, Darlington travel to Leicestershire to take on Notts County and I see the Quakers getting the rub of the three pints action all the way back to the empty stadium.
So that's me for this week. I am going to go and have a few pints with my young friends down at the Blue Oyster Bar. I have even bought some leather trousers to fit in with the latest fashion down there.
So remember- only Sunderland can say we are truly Sunderland.
Big Lawry
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