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"BLOODY RUBBISH!" FROM THE SUN 13-11-04
Geordie clown Alan Shearer went into Sunday's clash with Manchester United stating the following;
"Football needs more Roy Keanes. If there were more Roy Keanes around, then football wouldn't have as many problems."
"Bloody Rubbish!" Alan. Roy Keane is a homicidal maniac and a madman and if there were more Roy Keanes in the game, football would have loads more problems like mass genocide, lack of players in sides due to multiple sendings off and no managers because nobody in their right mind would want to have to handle a team of pikey nutters.
Bryan Robson kicked off his Hawthorns reign by spouting the following piece of garbage to the press;
"My first priority is to get some good results. I've made Kanu captain and I expect him to lead by example, not just on the pitch but in the manner he goes about his job."
"Bloody Rubbish!" Robbo! Gary Megson made Kanu club captain a week before he left. And what a "Bloody Rubbish!" example he set on Sunday, ballooning the ball over the bar from all of three millimetres out.
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Steve McClaren even chipped in with a classic this week;
"Football needs people like Bryan Robson. Everyone is glad he is back."
Stevo- That is "Bloody Rubbish!" because the West Brom fans are most certainly not glad that he's back. Especially after he personally made 'Rocket Man' Kanu club captain.
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New Spurs manager Martin Jol came out with a very unusual comment on English coaching badges;
"In this country you get your badges with the bacon and beans. A player can finish playing and is given a job with no coaching experience which seems crazy."
What a load of "Bloody Rubbish!", you sour faced Dutchy. I can't wait to get my breakfast at Joe's Greasy Spoon in the morning. "Morning Joe. I'll have two eggs, beans, bacon and a couple of those FA coaching badges please."...
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Sam Allardyce did a Michael Jackson impression at some fund raising do and reckons he is a mean performer on the dance floor;
"I was a nifty mover in the discos when I was younger and I reckon I'm still not too bad now. I can do the Jackson moonwalk and get on my toes and spin round like he does in the videos."
Yes. Righto Sam. That explains why the richter scale was off limits in Lancashire last week then, you big lump of lard. "Bloody Rubbish!", I say. "Bloody Rubbish!".
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Michael Carrick before the North London showdown with Arsenal;
"There have been some great players brought into the club and although we have had a few bad results, I have never doubted the quality of the squad."
Absolute "Bloody Rubbish!" Mr Carrick. The words quality and Spurs have no right to be in the same sentence and if you have so much quality in your squad, then why are you four points off the drop zone, eh? I'll tell you why. It's because you're "Bloody Rubbish!", that's why!
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Harry Redknapp on his latest row with chairman Milan Mandaric;
"I am fed up with talking about all of this. When me and the chairman are together, we get on very well."
Fed up of talking about it? "Bloody Rubbish!" If that's the case, then why do you go running to the papers every time you have a major bust up with your great mate, eh Harold...?
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Steve Wigley on James Beattie;
"His goal record is better than other English number 9 in the last two or three years."
This is "Bloody Rubbish!" of the most extreme proportions. What about Michael Owen, Wayne Rooney, Alan Shearer, Alan Smith, Emile Heskey (even) and about fifty three others I could name if I wasn't feeling so contemptuous of this utter "Bloody Rubbish!" statement by the soon to be jobless Wigley.
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Mark Hughes on Tony Parkes finding out about his sacking in the papers after giving thirty four years of loyal service to Blacburn Rovers;
"The fact that it came out in the press before I told him is not what I wanted."
So Tony Parkes is sacked but I'll tell him later on. What a load of "Bloody Rubbish!" I reckon you did it on purpose so that you didn't have to tell him yourself. "Bloody Rubbish!" management that was and I hope you and your "Bloody Rubbish!" team get relegated!
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Jose Mourinho on the design of the new Chelsea club badge;
"When I look at the old badge, the lion is arrogant and I don't really know what he is trying to say."
"Bloody Portuguese Rubbish!" You know exactly what the lion is saying. He's saying that we are an arrogant club with an arrogant manager and an arrogant Chief Executive. "Bloody Rubbish!", the lot of you!
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John Toshack on his new appointment as manager of mighty Wales;
"After 26 years in management, this is one of the few jobs that really motivates me."
What he really meant to say was "After 26 years of failure in management and five sackings in six years, this was the only job that I could get because I'm a "Bloody Rubbish!" manager."
More "Bloody Rubbish!" by Harry Haverton coming your way this weekend.
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