|
|
"BLOODY RUBBISH!" FROM THE SUN 4-12-04
Norwich City chief executive Neil Doncaster confirmed that Norwich's debts have doubled to just over £18m and said;
"These figures only reflect the costs of promotion, not the benefits. At present, £1.2m is available for Nigel to spend in January or the summer as he sees fit."
So it costs money to get promoted these days does it? "Bloody Rubbish!" It never does! And £1.2 mill is a lot of use in today's transfer market. You'll end up with a load of "Bloody Rubbish!" players for that and end up back where you came from, which is fair enough because you're a "Bloody Rubbish!" side and we don't want you in the Premiership!
Nigel digs deep into the Norwich kitty and finds a tenner.
**************
Useless England manager Eriksson said;
"There are lots of jobs I can take. Maybe manager of Sweden or Brazil. Those are two jobs I would like very much."
The only jobs you'll get Sven are "Bloody Rubbish!" jobs like assistant boot cleaner at Hull City because you're the biggest load of "Bloody Rubbish!" that this country has ever had for a manager! As for managing Brazil, well- hello... Brazil are the World Champions and they'd never have a "Bloody Rubbish!" Swedish manager in charge of them. Never. "Bloody Rubbish!" if ever I heard it.
**************
Alex Ferguson after United beat Arsenal in the Carling Cup;
"We know how to lose. That is part of life and part of the game. When Arsenal won the title at Old Trafford, our supporters applauded them off the pitch."
Yes, of course you know how to lose Fergie- by whingeing that the ref added another half an hour on, or that you played in the wrong colour shirts. I'd bloody well sack you for saying "Bloody Rubbish!" things every week I would. And as for your supporters applauding Arsenal off the pitch, well what a load of "Bloody Rubbish!" that is, I tell you. Those applauding supporters were all "Bloody Rubbish!" cockneys who switched their allegiance when your lot went "Bloody Rubbish!"
**************
Aaron Hughes is refusing to accept Newcastle will be mere lambs to the slaughter at Stamford Bridge today;
"Before writing us off, maybe people should look at our performance against Chelsea in the Carling Cup. It was never a 2-0 result but, in the end, our tired legs caught us out as we had played three days earlier. We go there excited by the challenge, full of confidence - tell me, why we can't beat them."
Oh you poor little thing with your poor little tired legs! Get off, you load of "Bloody Rubbish!" I looked at your performance against Chelsea. "Bloody Rubbish!" it was and I'll tell you why you can't beat them- because you're a useless load of Geordie "Bloody Rubbish!" that's why. Now go and rest your tired little legs, you poor little lamb. "Bloody Rubbish!" the lot of you!
**************
Martin Jol insists Spurs fans will accept another season of rebuilding and claimed mid-table would represent a 'revival' after last term's 14th place. He also believes Spurs fans will be 'happy' with their last four home games - which have included three defeats;
"Of course the Carling Cup was our best chance of getting into Europe. We are building but I don't want to build a house, I want to build a cathedral."
Well I suppose that claiming sanctuary in a House of God is the only way that you can escape the wrath of your supporters when they come looking for you after yet another "Bloody Rubbish!" performance, you sour faced Dutchy. Yes, the Spurs fans must be well happy with three defeats in four - that one win coming against my beloved Boro. But we had tired legs last Sunday! - Oh we're such a "Bloody Rubbish!" team that we'll have a big party to celebrate finishing just below half way. Then we'll sack our "Bloody Rubbish!" Dutch manager for being an ambitionless load of "Bloody Rubbish!". Get off because you're "Bloody Rubbish!"
**************
Nine-goal Palace striker Andy Johnson said;
"We are a hard team to beat at home. There aren't many teams who come to Selhurst Park and roll us over."
Well I can name four this season for a start and that's in seven games. So what you should have said is that we lose half our home games but we think that's really good because we're a load of "Bloody Rubbish!" really.
**************
Leeds Boss Kevin Blackwell on Clarke Carlisle's return from injury;
"If we see him face Leicester, we've witnessed a miracle. He's not fully fit but he's so determined to play. His attitude shows the players will put their lives on the line for this club."
Good one Kevin. I didn't see many of your team willing to die for you when you got relegated last season. No, they all went to better clubs so that they wouldn't have to play for the biggest load of "Bloody Rubbish!" ever to play in England's top flight! And I can just imagine Ricketts going on hunger strike for the cause. Still, it might do him good, the fat useless load of "Bloody Rubbish!"
**************
Mario Melchiot;
"Every time I get on the ball they go crazy. Sometimes I don't even have to go forward - I just touch the ball. Sometimes I practice my tricks. I play how I feel. I don't think about things because if you start thinking about things then they go wrong."
Bloody right they go crazy. They just know that you'll lose possession yet again because you're a "Bloody Rubbish!" player! If you were any good then Chelsea would have kept you, wouldn't they now. No, instead they sent you to "Bloody Rubbish!" Birmingham where you don't have to think. Thank God we don't have any "Bloody Rubbish!" players like you at Boro.
**************
Rafael Benitez on driving on the right hand side of the road;
"I was driving along quite happily when, out of the blue, there was this coach right in front of me, driving at me it seemed! And what had happened was that because there were no cars on the road when I set off I'd started driving on the wrong side of the road! It's almost worse when you walk - I try and cross the road and I have to look about seven times in each direction before I set off."
Well you're a "Bloody Rubbish!" driver Rafa. Look, it's not that difficult really. Left is... well, left and right is the other one. We learn that at school over here and if you're such a "Bloody Rubbish!" pedestrian, then get the bus for God's sake before you cause a major accident. "Bloody Rubbish!" these foreign managers, the whole lot of them.
**************
Robert Pires - of Portuguese parentage - said about Jose Mourinho;
"I talked to my cousin in Portugal and he told me Mourinho was very good at what he does."
"Bloody Rubbish!" research on your main rivals there Robert. Aren't you supposed to know who's who at your chief competitors then? I'm not surprised that you're playing like a load of "Bloody Rubbish!" at the moment if you don't even know who Jose Mourinho is.
**************
Potential Wolves boss John Gregory on Steve Bull;
"He represents everything about Wolves."
Like not getting promoted for twenty odd years, that's what he meant. And you're a "Bloody Rubbish!" manager as well Mr Gregory and if you get the Wolves job, you'll be in charge of a "Bloody Rubbish!" team who are nearly bottom of a "Bloody Rubbish!" division. Load of "Bloody Rubbish!" the lot of you!
More "Bloody Rubbish!" by Harry Haverton coming your way next weekend.
BACK TO "BLOODY RUBBISH!" INDEX
|
|
|
|
