|
|
"BLOODY RUBBISH!" FROM THE MAIL 18-12-04
The Mail feature a not so interesting scientific analysis on goalkeepers and why they make so many simple mistakes;
"Why did David James cost England victory over Austria in a World Cup qualifier in Vienna this season? Why did Roy Carroll drop a clanger against Lyon in the Champions League at Old Trafford? Why did Paul Robinson throw the ball at his own defender, leading to a penalty?"
Come on Mail Sportwriters. This one's as obvious as the nose on Alex Ferguson's face. It's got nothing to do with the weight or flight of the ball. It's simply because they're all "Bloody Rubbish!". And I don't need one of your "Bloody Rubbish!" velocity meters to tell me that either.
 
**************
The draw for the next round of the Champions League was made yesterday and it seemed a bit pointless after the heaps of "Bloody Rubbish!" that the managers came out with;
Ferguson; "I had a feeling we were going to get AC Milan,"
Mourinho; "I wanted to play Barcelona"
Oliver Kahn; "Jens (Lehman) and I instinctively knew we would have to face each other."
What a load of "Bloody Rubbish" you lot talk! You don't fool any of us with your after the event predictions. OK, I'm going to predict the result of the Boro v Villa game today but I'm not going to do it until 5:00. And I bet I get it right! If you're going to talk to the papers, then please say something sensible and not a pile of "Bloody Rubbish!" like this. I instinctively know that I'm going to have egg and chips for dinner yesterday. Quick, sign me up as the new Mystic Meg. "Bloody Rubbish!", the whole lot of you.
**************
But Rafael Benitez is no prophet;
"I would have preferred to have been away first of all but if the supporters get behind us I am sure we can get a good result. "
Well thanks for not saying that you just knew you were going to get Leverkusen but why did he want to be away first? I'll tell you why. So he can make a whole load of "Bloody Rubbish!" excuses when his "Bloody Rubbish!" gets beat, that's why. And as for the supporters getting right behind them, I can see that happening as they queue up to kick him out of Anfield for being a load of "Bloody Rubbish!"
**************
Our old mate Arsene Wenger on being fined £15,000 for calling Ruud Van Nistelrooy a cheat;
"I don't understand what I've done wrong. It is not a big problem in my mind. At some stage, you have to say what you think without insulting people. I've read my statements again and I stand by what I said. I just don't know really what I'm charged with."
Come off it Arsene. This is the biggest load of "Bloody Rubbish!" that I've ever heard. It might be OK to call people a cheat in your "Bloody Rubbish!" country but you just don't do it here. And you don't know what you are charged with? I'll tell you what you were charged with. Calling Old Horse Face a cheat, that's what and it was a "Bloody Rubbish!" thing to say as well. Even though it's probably true...
**************
Here's Freddie Ljungberg talking about his migraine attack;
"They confirmed that I have been suffering from a severe migraine attack."
"Bloody Rubbish!" doctors they must have at Highbury! "Doctor, I've got the flu." "Well, my diagnosis is that you're suffering from the flu." "Bloody Rubbish!" man. I could have told you that. Mind you, I bet that migraines are quite common around Highbury when all you get is that "Bloody Rubbish!" Frenchie talking constant "Bloody Rubbish!" all day long.
**************
But it's much worse at White Hart "Bloody Rubbish!" Lane. Frank Arnesen;
"I like to think we are doing well."
And I'd like to think that you're doing "Bloody Rubbish!" A couple of lucky wins and you're up to 11th. "Bloody Rubbish!" team with a "Bloody Rubbish!" manager and a "Bloody Rubbish!" Director of Football. And a load of "Bloody Rubbish!" statements as well.
**************
And the above is confirmed by Martin Jol;
"Spurs are a big club. If we need a player we will get a player. There is no problem - we are in a very healthy financial position. We still have three or four weeks to talk about things, then we will make an assessment and look at what we need."
So Ronaldo, Shevchenko and Stewey Downing must be packing their bags and moving to Spurs then? What a load of "Bloody Rubbish!" you are talking man. I'll tell you what you need without one of your "Bloody Rubbish!" assessments. Eleven new players and a new manager to replace that load of Dutch "Bloody Rubbish!" who keeps talking "Bloody Rubbish!" every week.
**************
Like this;
"But now, maybe we can go places."
Get it straight. The only places you are going are Plymouth, Brighton and Leeds when you end up in the Coca Cola league for being "Bloody Rubbish!" And for having a "Bloody Rubbish!" manager!
**************
And he's even got the players at it as well. Michael Brown;
"I do notice my scoring record."
What kind of a "Bloody Rubbish!" thing is that to say? Well done Spurs for publishing your players' scoring records. Mind you, I wouldn't have bothered myself because they're all "Bloody Rubbish!"
**************
Frank Arnesen continues the diatribe;
"It's down the road of bringing in talent, good prospects and giving them a place at Tottenham where they can improve."
The only place at Tottenham where a player can improve is the transfer list! Great idea, get a good prospect and sell him to a "Bloody Rubbish!" side like Spurs. Mind you, he nearly got it right when he said "Down the road." Down the table and into the First Division for you lot because you're a load of "Bloody Rubbish!"
**************
And finally, Steve Bruce lashed out at Jeff Winter, calling him a coward;
"He was hopeless at refereeing and absolutely despised by most of the professional players. What was he - a bog-standard referee who loved himself. An absolute prat. He has got about as much personality as a bag of chips. He was disliked immensely for the way he was as a referee."
Well you must have "Bloody Rubbish!" chips in Birmingham Brucey because I know a lot of people who know Jeff Winter, as he lives in Stockton and he was actually quite popular within the game. Unlike you, you load of Geordie "Bloody Rubbish!" So pack it in trying to hide your "Bloody Rubbish!" performance by criticising Jeff. I'm not surprised your Chairman is selling up with a "Bloody Rubbish!" manager like you running his club. A "Bloody Rubbish!" Geordie in charge of a load of "Bloody Rubbish!" Brummies. I wouldn't bother selling up. I'd give the load of "Bloody Rubbish!" away because it's a "Bloody "Rubbish!" club in a "Bloody Rubbish!" town with a load of "Bloody Rubbish!" players. "Bloody Rubbish!", the whole lot of you.
More "Bloody Rubbish!" by Harry Haverton coming your way next weekend.
BACK TO "BLOODY RUBBISH!" INDEX
|
|
|
|
