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"BLOODY RUBBISH!" FROM THE SUN 24-12-04
Graeme Souness is starting to push the "Bloody Rubbish!" boundaries to unprecedented and ludicrous levels;
"I'm 51 and I've experienced a fair bit of life. I've come through difficult times and I'm at a big club with big pressures, but I've lost only six games."
I suppose you still think that you're at the eighth biggest club in the world Souey? What a load of "Bloody Rubbish!" that is. And those six losses have come in your last ten domestic fixtures and that's a "Bloody Rubbish!" record by any team's standards, let alone the thirteenth best team in England. Black and white "Bloody Rubbish!" the lot of you.
And then a huge contradiction...
"I know how I deal with pressure and this is not pressure. I'm lucky to be working here and I'm excited at the prospect of what we can achieve."
So first we get 'a big club with big pressure' and then 'there's no pressure here'. It's all starting to add up now. Souey is realising that they're not a big club at all and are just a load of "Bloody Rubbish!" really. Well done Graeme. Take a break mate. A break from the Premiership that is because the only thing your lot will be achieving is relegation because you really are "Bloody Rubbish!"
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It gets worse...
"Every day the chairman's on the phone chasing his counterparts about possible deals. He's not sitting back twiddling his thumbs, he's pursuing things that will make us a better unit."
Things like a new manager to replace the "Bloody Rubbish!" one that he's got, I'll bet. And I'm sure he's not twiddling his thumbs at all. He's more than likely twiddling his dipstick in one of those continental brothels that he's allegedly into instead of trying to sort out the mess at his "Bloody Rubbish!" football club.
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Mark Hughes leapt to under pressure Souey's defence;
"It's ridiculous that Graeme is already under pressure at Newcastle so early in his career there. All managers need time to have an impact on their team and Graeme hasn't had that."
What a load of "Bloody Rubbish!" Sparky! He's had nearly four months and that was plenty of time to turn Champions League contenders into relegation fodder. "Bloody Rubbish!" the both of you and I won't be watching either of you in The Championship next season.
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Martin Jol is becoming a regular here and he says this about Jermain Defoe, Robbie Keane and Fredi Kanoute;
"I have three of the best strikers in the Premiership."
"Bloody Rubbish!" of outrageous proportions here. Granted, Defoe is doing alright but I can't see Keane and Kanoute in the list of top Premiership goalscorers. Strikers are supposed to score Mr Jol and if you had the best strikers in the Premiership, they'd be banging them in every week like Jimmy and Mark do for the Boro, not just getting one every time a pig flies over White Hart "Bloody Rubbish!" Lane. I reckon Defoe will be on his way soon as I can't see him staying with a load of "Bloody Rubbish!" like you.
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Sam Allardyce admits he has discussed Diouf's extravagant 'bling' dress sense with the Senegal international;
"By dressing as he does, he puts himself in a position whereby people will single him out. So if he can't handle it, he should dress down in order not to put himself in that situation."
What a load of "Bloody Rubbish!" from a big fat load of "Bloody Rubbish!" excuse for a manager. Diouf gets singled out because of his "Bloody Rubbish!" habit of gobbing at other players. And besides, he does dress down every week when he puts on that "Bloody Rubbish!" Bolton kit!
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Andy Cole was fantasising about playing for Arsenal;
"The way Arsenal play at the moment, to be a centre forward in that team would be a dream. If I was there, I know that I would get a bagful."
The only thing you'd get at Arsenal Coley, would be a free transfer because you're a load of "Bloody Rubbish!" and that's why you play for a "Bloody Rubbish!" team like Fulham!
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Mick McCarthy, 45, comes up against his boyhood club at the Stadium of Light on Boxing Day;
"I was in tears when Sunderland beat Leeds to lift the cup in 1973."
So was I Mick. Tears of laughter after the Mackems showed Leeds up as being a load of "Bloody Rubbish!" Best laugh I've ever had that was. One load of "Bloody Rubbish!" getting beat off another load of "Bloody Rubbish!" Mind you, they're both even more "Bloody Rubbish!" now. All the better for us though.
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Man City chairman City chairman John Wardle;
"The events of Sunday evening seriously fell below the high standards we expect and demand at this football club."
High standards? "Bloody Rubbish!" mate. The only standards you have at Manchester City are "Bloody Rubbish!" ones, starting with that "Bloody Rubbish!" manager of yours and the whole of your "Bloody Rubbish!" first team squad. Mind you, that was a "Bloody Rubbish!" thing that Barton did but I'm not here to comment on things like that.
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David O'Leary took a roll call of his walking wounded and announced;
"I may have to include myself and Roy Aitken in our squad against Chelsea."
Well I would if I were you Dave because I'm sure you'd do a better job than that load of "Bloody Rubbish!" who you've got playing for you at the moment. We weren't that great last Saturday and we still managed to stuff you 3-0. Get yourself to a decent club Dave because you're wasted at that load of Brummie "Bloody Rubbish!"
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So have yourselves a great Christmas and let's cheer the Boro on to maximum points against Birmingham and Norwich. We should win both games because you know what Birmingham and Norwich are...
More "Bloody Rubbish!" by Harry Haverton coming your way next weekend.
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