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"BLOODY RUBBISH!" FROM THE PAPERS 23-4-05
Big Fat Sam Allardyce sensationally claimed El-Hadji Diouf is a target for a conspiracy involving Middlesbrough's police. Allardyce pointed an angry finger at Teesside and their police after news of a summons was leaked before the controversial star was informed.
This was without a doubt the most "Bloody Rubbish!" story of the whole weekend. Big Fat Sam has not stopped moaning and complaining ever since we beat then at Cardiff and it's about time he packed it in with his "Bloody Rubbish!" accusations and childish mind games. Anyhow. Boro police would never get involved in anything like that. Far too honest, the lot of them.
Allardyce raged;
"We can't believe that something like this has sneaked out from that area."
And we can't believe that the foul, disgusting, loathsome load of "Bloody Rubbish!" who we are talking about sneaked out of wherever he came from. I just wish he'd go back there. As for El-Hadji Diouf, well what's all that "Bloody Rubbish!" spitting all about? If you want my opinion, which you probably don't, then he deserves everything he gets. Apart from a new contract, that is.
"We find it strange that this should come out just before our most important four games of the season."
Well it's like this Sam. It happened on November 7th and the Boro police took about five months to process the complaint. I know that's a bit slow, and some may even say it's "Bloody Rubbish!" but that's modern day bureaucracy for you. It's not a conspiracy, it's just "Bloody Rubbish!" admin. Almost as "Bloody Rubbish!" as that gobbing camel who you employ in your team Sam.
"Someone is trying to disrupt our season for one reason or another. We are hugely disappointed with the situation."
And how disappointed do you think the Boro fan who got showered in spit by your dirty, stinking "Bloody Rubbish!" Egyptian was? If you want to know about disruption, go and ask him.
"We should have been contacted first. This should have been kept private until a decision was made."
Sorry Sam. This comment is nothing short of total "Bloody Rubbish!" The incident happened in public and contrary to reports of tumbleweed blowing through the Riverside stands on occasions, there were quite a few people in the stadium that day. And anyway, it was kept private until a decision was made. A decision was made to summons him and I hope he gets deported back to Egypt. He can wear one of those little red square hats and stand with the camels, gobbing at passers-by until his heart is content. Major Frank Buckley would have nailed his gob shut, I can tell you.
And over in Gay Paris, former Manchester United goalkeeper Fabien Barthez has been banned for six months for spitting at a referee. Just in case you wanted to know.
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Here's some interesting sound bites from the new Premier league manager who two weeks ago had never heard of his first opponents. Alain Perrin;
"I had contacts in Greece, Turkey and even in China. I wouldn't rule out going there in the future."
I wouldn't rule you out of going there Alain but probably sooner than you think. Like as soon as the chairman realises what a "Bloody Rubbish!" appointment he made. I wouldn't rule you out of going to Plymouth, Millwall and Leeds next season either. If you manage to stay in the job that long.
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Spare a thought for a long suffering north east neighbour of ours. The club has had more than its fair share of problems over the course of the season and recent disciplinary meetings have only added to the troubles. With only half a team available, relegation is not off the agenda yet and the fans are forming pressure groups to try and force changes.
I wasn't talking about the Geordies. I don't have any sympathy for that load of "Bloody Rubbish!" at all. I was talking about Spennymoor who haven't been able to play their last few matches and were hit with a hefty fine for that. Another one is due to follow shortly.
Now what a "Bloody Rubbish!" way to deal with the problem by the UniBond league. Obviously the club has difficulties and if it had money, it would have been able to get some players from somewhere. For a start, there's a load of them at Hurworth who haven't exactly been busting a gut this last few weeks.
So the league exasperates their problems and almost certainly condemns them to extinction. "Bloody Rubbish!" way of doing things if you ask me but that's bureaucracy for you. Load of "Bloody Rubbish!" the lot of them.
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Today's game against West Brom may not be a pleasant experience for us, especially when you compare notes from the two camps. Steve McClaren;
"If we fail to make the top seven and so go into Europe via the Intertoto, then so be it because it holds no fears for us and we have already prepared two alternative pre-seasons, depending on where we are."
That smacks of having given up the fight already and that's "Bloody Rubbish!" if you ask me. The manager should be coming out saying we are going to finish top seven, whatever we have to do to get there. Or something like that. What he said is defeatist and I would have preferred to hear that we going to get there, even if we have to kill everyone to do it. Anything less is just "Bloody Rubbish!" really.
Albion midfielder Richard Chaplow;
"I think it will go down to the last game and it will be a case of who can hold their nerve and put the performances in. We believe we can do, so there is no reason we can't keep doing what we're doing and stay outside of the bottom three."
Robbo. Do you fancy your job back son? We could do with a bit of that spirit here at the moment. We've gone "Bloody Rubbish!" recently and seem to have given up on the season already, which is just "Bloody Rubbish!" really.
That's it for this week. I'm going to go to The Shipmate and stay in there until five o'clock. Unless they have the match on and then I'll go somewhere else.
More "Bloody Rubbish!" by Harry Haverton coming your way next weekend.
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