|
|
MACKEMS ON TOAST 2-2-06
In life, there is a first time for everything and this is a new one on me folks. Alarm call and struggling out of the sack to watch my Beloved Boro in Blunderland's own scrapyard, I mean backyard. A televised crunch derby at The Stadium of Shite, for an early breakfast and, as it turned out, the menu was Mackems on toast with a large helping of Kellogg's Revenge.
The early alarm was all due to Fox Sports scheduling our game as a delayed telecast after the live fare of the goings on at Craven cottage, which suited Old ErimusRed. The tyranny of distance and it's effect on world time, namely the eight hour zonal time difference between WA and Greenwich, meant it kicked off at 6am West Orstrayian time to you mate.
As you know, usually over in this part of the Antipodes, I watch the lads live over a few amber nectars after 10pm at night and various other scheduled kick-off times, right through to 2:30am Perth time.
Now, the over-riding temptation with delayed telecasts is wondering what the score was as the result is posted - if you are watching history in the can. not getting cooked, so to speak.
I always have a compulsion to get on the net, plug-in to the oracle, that is ComeOnBoro's hugely reliable and lighting quick on line match report. It's literally; Referee Wylie holds his glistening whistle to his pursed lips at 21:38 and, as the first spital droplets exit from the ref's gob, report online at 21:38 and 10.2135 seconds! Now that's outstanding service and a very fucking fast pigeon.
It's also very tempting to turn over to satellite's Sky News active, press the red button and scroll through the screens for the latest sports news with associated results, which usually means a quick look at the highlights too.
BUT NO, not today - I held firm. Even though I hadn't really slept too well because I was very on edge for this one as I am sure you all were. As the game settled into it's rhythm I was bloody glad I'd avoided the temptation to sneak a look at the score. No sooner as I had munched away my muesli and downed a mug of tea than Mad Dog Pogostix was powering one of Stewie Downing's inch perfects into the roof of the net and my yelping in delight woke the rest of the house (first day of new school term - grumpy buggers!).
Pogo's first goal for Boro was followed shortly afterwards with Parnaby rifling an absolute beauty, his first in the EPL since David Armstrong had a full head of hair!
The omens were there at last, when Jimmy Floyd Shitloadsinthebank slotted home another it resulted in a bloody good win. An away win at that. A win over Sunlan by three and a clean sheet to boot.
Maybe we should let Sir Gareth give the team a bloody good roistering and a verbal gee up more often! Middlesbrough 3 - 0 Blunderland. Love it, bragging rights returned to the Riverside faithful till next time.
Obviously the revengeful result helps my jaunty demeanour as it will for days to come, lifting my spirits and ending that abysmal run and my taunters sneering questioning, "How many games since you last won!?"
Y'know though, it wasn't actually a bad game to watch and both teams were, in the vernacular, up for it and in derby style of ebb and flow and loads of physical presence.
Mad Dog was far and away the Man of The Match. Bottle of bubbly to the man with the wild eyes as he played his best game in an 888 Boro shirt, out of position in central defence, wagging his index finger in the face of the Mackem hoards while scoring a cracking goal and generally full of anticipation, balls and spirit.
Let's face it, both teams have not exactly set the EPL on fire, at least Boro have used up a few fire-lighters in the odd game whereas Sunlan have wet kindling, soggy newspaper and no bloody lighter. In truth, both have suffered in parallel with numerous long and short term injuries, a disruptive influence to the best but I'm not making any excuses as we have been shite while they have been morning after curry induced diarrhoea.
My analogy of the way both teams have played this season can be summed up in comparing both to vehicles, using motoring parlance.
Blunderland have been like a very high mileage large rusty white van with no MOT. A smokey Ford transit with knackered suspension full of empty space, no class and good for the basic purpose of carrying a load of aggressive passengers who fail to deliver the goods. Too cumbersome and not a lot of cred in the EPL pub carpark there.
Boro are not too high in the garage stakes either. It's all been a bit too much like driving an old Colin Chapman era Lotus +2S. A cracking motor but the wheels fall off regularly but on a good day, brilliant and sublime. When and if it works it brings a big grin but usually totally lets you down with dodgy electrics and inconsistent engine, with a rear bench full of baby seats. Infuriating as fuck but you are still sadly seduced by it.
So, the Wearsiders are in a very, very bad way and I really enjoyed typing that sentence. Sunlan are all but relegated, and yes I enjoyed typing that even more!
It would take a miracle of Biblical proportions plus a pact with the Devil to save their collective arse souls. Poor old Mick McCarthy and the two-heads.
But you will not get any sympathy from me, or words of consolation as I detest them, the demon seed from Sunlan and environs. Always have and always will. In fact any bugger I've met from Wearside has usually been a person I've taken an instant dislike to and usually ended up arguing like hell with. I can pick 'em a mile away, that Mackem arrogance, that strange deluded top dog mentality...
So, no love lost and down they'll go and I'll gloat in enjoyment. I'm quite sure they would return the compliment BUT they will not get the chance.
Why?
Because, and I feel this in my bones youngsters, we are finally shrugging off our malaise. Helped massively by that defeat of the mortal enemy, which was the catalyst we've been waiting for, the defining point of our season.
It's in the ether, the signs point to salvation, from here on in it's onward and upward with players returning and a time for consistency and bollocks to get those points on the board. It won't be perfect and there will be blips on the way but the fire is back in the belly of Middlesbrough Football Club 1986.
Love is blind and a passionate heart will stir when tempted!
Come on Boro!
Enough Said.
ErimusRed.
BACK TO ERIMUSRED INDEX
|
|
|
|
