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THE PREMIERSHIP WEEKEND 10-2-06
Christopher Bean
Hello chaps and chapettes. This is your new weekly column previewing the weekend of Premiership football by your favourite run of the mill poster, PRF. Basically I will be rubbing my two pennies together and trying to make it as optimistic as possible for the Boro.
However it is rather typical we are playing Chelsea this weekend for the first column. Hey-ho...
Wigan v Liverpool 12.45
The first match this weekend is a north-west derby at the Charver Clothing Stadium. With Wigan battling for a top six finish - who would have thought that two years ago? - and the thieving scousers pushing Manchester United for second place, it could be an epic of a game. But as Boro have played both these teams and they are nowhere near us in the league, I don't really give a flying toss about this game!
Prediction: 1-1
Arsenal v Bolton 15.00
Arsenal have been rather poor away from the Library this season, but have been shit-hot at home. And Bolton having an average away record. Even with the alleged Sol Campbell affair/homosexual rumours floating around like a ponce on a dance floor, you have to favour Arsene's Arses to win. This will hopefully result in a three match losing streak for the Trotters which will mean three points to Boro in six weeks time.
Prediction: Arsenal 2-0
Aston Villa v Newcastle 15.00
Villa are on a hot streak at the moment, as we very well know. In ten games they have lost only once to the bubble blowers, so I can't see Villa losing. However the barcodes have confidence now that they got rid of Sourness and victory over Pompey has put the jawdees on their high horses. Villa are too strong at the moment though and Roeder's honeymoon period will be over. Plus we gifted the Villains three points so it's the least they could do for us.
Prediction: Villa 2-1
Everton v Blackburn 15.00
Ten games ago everyone was convinced that these two would be battling for Premiership survival and Boro would be challenging for a top six spot. How quickly does football change? Both teams have resurrected their seasons, but the Toffee's hammering (no pun intended) at Chelsea and that bizarre injury to Richard Wright will have knocked their confidence. A defeat by Rovers could suck them back into the mire of a relegation dog fight. Sounds good to me...
Prediction: Blackburn 0-1
Fulham v West Brom 15.00
This is probably the most important match for us Boro fans this weekend as both teams are flirting with danger. A draw would be an ideal result for us, but the Cottagers home form is of top six standards and WBA have been abysmal away from the Hawthorns so a Fulham victory is on the cards. It will mean that the Baggies will still be our closest rivals above us and give us a chance of climbing above them when we play them next week.
Prediction: Fulham 2-0
Middlesbrough v Chelsea 15.00
Oh bugger. This is where the shit hits the fan for the optimism. Boro are playing like headless chickens with Downes Syndrome at the moment whereas our opponents come off a back of a 4-1 demolition of Everton. Our 1-0 win over Coventry would have settled the ship, but in confectionery terms Coventry is a Chomp and Chelsea is 1 kilogram slab of Belgium's finest chocolate. We can probably handle a quarter of the bar, but once we have eaten that one bit too much we will regurgitate and pass out and the floodgates will open.
The only positive going into the match is that we have a good record against the current top six at the Riverside- played five, won two, drawn two and lost once. Even with that record I am shitting it. If we only concede two I think that would be a success with our current form, however if we produce the same performance as last week it could be disastrous and there will be a mass exodus into the concourses and more unrest abuot te place...
Prediction: Chelsea 2-0
Portsmouth v Manchester United 17.15
Pompey have been on a terrible run of form recently which is so bad it makes Boro look like world beaters. And it is not going to change this weekend as Team Nike head to the South coast in what should be a very comfortable victory. Manchester United beat Fulham 4-2 last week and should still be 'buzzin' and 'mad fer it'. Which will leave Pompey rooted in the bottom three.
Prediction: Manchester United 3-0
Sunderland v Tottenham 13.30 (Sunday)
Do I really need to waste my fingers on this fixture? Sure the Spuds do poorly away from WHL but Sunderland have the worst record at home since my Dad brought home 'Keith Chegwin's Top Party Hits Ever!' album. What were you thinking Barry?. Expect Sunderland to battle bravely for the Sky cameras for sixty minutes and then crumble like a rich tea biscuit dunked in a cup of tea for five seconds and remain in single digits.
Prediction: Tottenham 2-0
Manchester City v Charlton 16.00 (Sunday)
The Addicks go into this match with bags of confidence after beating the Scousers 2-0 on Wednesday night, whereas the addicts got smacked (see what I did there...) off the other side of Liverpool 1-0. This should be a hotly contested match as it is a battle for tenth place. So it is bound to be a draw. Although a Manchester City win would mean Charlton will lose some momentum and will be momentumless until we face them at The Valley.
Prediction: 1-1
West Ham v Birmingham 20.00 Monday
The happy Hammers have been in a rich vein of form winning six games on the bounce. The Brummies have been blowing hot and cold for the last month. At times they look like they can beat anyone and other times look like relegation fodder (hmmm sounds familiar?). With that being said West Ham should win this game and keep a five point gap between the Brum and Boro.
Prediction: West Ham 2-1
Well there you have your weekend preview, and if my predictions are right there will be no movement in the bottom six, which is a good thing considering we are playing Chelski. And on a personal note, I hope I beat Lawro.
Christopher Bean AKA PollocksRightFoot
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