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FA CUP FIFTH ROUND PREVIEW - 17-2-06
Christopher Bean
Hello Come on Boroites. It is that time once again where I offer my not so great wisdom on the upcoming fixtures. But before I do that here is a quick recap from last weekend.
I did piss poor in the prediction stakes, only getting three results out of ten, so I hope to redeem myself this weekend. I am also still flabbergasted from that performance by the Boro at the weekend. Fuck me senseless- where did that come from? If we perform like that every week there is a chance we could back in the top ten.
Now on to the FA cup, which is a nice little diversion from the rigmaroles of the Premiership for one weekend, and a competition that could give us hope in what has been a rather gloomy season.
Liverpool v Manchester United 12:30
First match up is the "glamour tie" of the last sixteen. Well excuse me Auntie Beeb for shoving words down my mouth but in the past few seasons it has normally been an exceptionally boring game. Look at the FA Cup Final in 1996 for example. It was more sleep inducing than a Gordon Brown press conference. Not much goal mouth action through Rafa's boring tactics, Fergie will probably have a moan about the wind not blowing in the right direction and it will be goalless.
Prediction - 0-0
Bolton v West Ham 15:00
Big Sam's men are currently unbeaten in 2006 and The Hammers are currently on a seven match winning streak so this match is about as predictable as who will be the next Newcastle manager. Bolton are boosted by the return of Gary Speed who is due to collect his pension and bus pass at the end of the season. This has a score draw written all over it, most likely 1-1 as Bolton have had a fetish for that scoreline in the last few weeks.
Prediction - 1-1
Charlton v Brentford 15:00
The conquerors of the scruffy cunts in round four have a short trip to The Valley, which could be a banana skin for Alan Curbishley's men as Brentford are on a five match winning streak. However I can't see a problem for The Addicks as The Bees have recently lost their inspirational striker DJ Campbell. It will be a close affair but Charlton will just nick it.
Prediction - Charlton 2-1
Newcastle v Southampton 17:40 (Fucking bizarre time I know!)
Well thanks to the BBC this match kicks off on near prime time TV and will be going head to head with Celebrity Dancing on Ice. I know which one I will be watching. She may be getting on a bit but Christ, Bonny Langford would still get it although she is getting some tough competition from David Seaman and... Oh sorry got off track there for a bit. Newcastle should get a comfortable victory and the Boro will draw them in the next round and McClaren's men will get a bye through to the semis.
Prediction - Newcastle 2-0
Preston North End v Middlesbrough 14:00 Sunday
After our successes over Chelsea and Stuttgart confidence is riding high at Hurworth HQ but we run into a team who have built a fortress in their six yard box, dug a moat around the eighteen yard box and have set landmines across the rest of the pitch. But I don't give a flying fuck about that! I've drank Briggsy's optimism juice and I think we will win on Sunday in a very tight affair. We also have a possibility of French Frank to make a come back as well.
Prediction - Boro 1-0
Stoke v Birmingham 14:00 Sunday
This tie is probably the one most people don't give a flying toss about. These two struggling unfashionable teams compete in this Midlands derby. Thank fuck none of the TV companies picked this match as I would prefer to watch the housework on ice in the Winter Olympics. I am going to side with Stoke as the "shock" of the round but the game will probably be a bag of wank.
Prediction - Stoke 1-0
Chelsea v Colchester 16:00 Sunday
Well this match is pretty inevitable as Jose will want to quickly bury the fact that he got beat by a far superior team the week before. Expect Chelsea to thrash their League One opponents, but notice the surprise on the Colchester player's faces when they are playing on a pitch worse than Layer Roads surface. Still it will be a great day out for the Colchester fans.
Prediction - Chelsea 3-0
Aston Villa v Manchester City 18:30 Sunday
I have a feeling this could be a cracking match with quite a few goals in it. Both teams have been scoring quite freely recently and both are capable of having a leaky defence. Manchester City have been hit with a few injuries recently and Villa have a couple of players coming back, including that gormless Mackem Gavin McCann. So saying that I think the Brummy lads will just nick it at the end.
Prediction - Villa 3-2
Well there we go for another week. No doubt my predictions will be as accurate as Michael Fish's back in 1988 when only a light breeze was supposed to hit the South coast, but the FA cup is a lottery and anything can happen. For Christ's sake Millwall got to the final the other year so we have a good shout of making Wembley, Millennium Stadium, the Moon or wherever the fuck the final is going to be played this year!
COME ON BORO
Chris Bean AKA PollocksRightFoot
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