|
|
THE ANTI NEWS - THE SAM ALLARDYCE ISSUE 25-9-06
James Bassett
Steptoe and Son might have left our screens in 1974, but the BBC this week unearthed another father and son act that apparently deal in an altogether different but still somewhat mucky business.
Panorama's 'Undercover: Football's Dirty Secrets' alleged that Sam Allardyce and his seemingly dim-witted son, Craig, took illegal payments from at least three football agents to secure the transfer of players to Bolton Wanderers.
The FA have promised a "thorough and robust" investigation which, amongst other things, should hopefully shed some light on why, in January 2003, Middlesbrough paid Bolton Wanderers £3.5million for Michael Ricketts.
Let's do this.....
"Game shows aren't about cruelty. They're about greed and wonderful prizes like poorly built catamarans."
While, in the last few weeks, Middlesbrough had been rumoured to be a guilty party in Panorama's not-very revealing expose on football's bung culture, it turned out that Boro were, in fact, the victims of some alleged tapping-up, courtesy of chubby agent Peter Harrison, and Liverpool and Chelsea Football Clubs.
Harrison is alleged to have offered Boro winger, Nathan Porritt to Chelsea and Liverpool, and the programme showed footage of Chelsea's Head of Development, Frank Arnesen, discussing what wages his club might offer Porritt.
Unsurprisingly, a response from Boro wasn't long in coming. "We are hugely disappointed with the actions of Peter Harrison," Keith Lamb raged to www.mfc.co.uk, "It was quite clear from the footage shown on the programme that he approached other Premier League clubs to offer Nathan Porritt to them. Clearly Peter has a lot to answer for to the game's authorities and this football club."
Despite the club's feelings towards Harrison, Steve Gibson admitted that Boro are unlikely to pursue action against either club. "I didn't see any great wrongdoing from those clubs," the Boro Chairman admitted, perhaps aware that his decision to breach Premier League rules by giving the Manager's job to the unqualified Gareth Southgate doesn't make his own club whiter than white.
Still, none of this would have any relevance were it not for the hard work and investigative nous of a man named Knut. Which, when rearranged, bears a remarkable phonetic similarity to a term currently being applied to Peter Harrison by the population of Teesside.
"Oh, I'm sick of doin' Japanese stuff! In jail, we had to be in this dumb Kabuki play about the forty-seven Ronin, and I wanted to be Yoshi, but they made me Ori."
Gareth Southgate accepted responsibility for Boro's embarrassing 1-0 defeat at home to Notts County.
The League Two side, who made SEVEN changes to their first-team, out-passed and out-played Southgate's men for much of the game and Tcham N'Toya's 26th minute goal was enough to ensure Southgate's first cup run ended at the soonest opportunity.
"It is not a competition I wanted to go out of," claimed Southgate, as Anti News vigorously pointed to a team sheet with the words 'Gaizka' and 'Mendieta' on it, "And obviously I have to take responsibility because I put a team out with lots of changes, but a team I felt was good enough to win the match."
Southgate made eight changes from the weekend's draw at Bolton but insisted, "I still think it [the team selection] was good enough to win the match, but unfortunately on the night, we were not able to do that."
"But, of course, we are a Premier League team and we should beat a second division side," Southgate concluded, taking the words out of the mouths of the eleven thousand poor buggers that turned up to watch that shite.
"Goodbye, Japan! I'll miss your Kentucky Fried Chicken and your sparkling whale-free seas."
Boro lost 1-0 at home for the second time in a week after Shabani Nonda's first-half header sealed three points for visiting Blackburn.
While Blackburn deserved their win, Jason Euell took the chances he was presented with as you'd expect for a man with a career record of 84 goals in 261 games, fluffing a one-on-one with Brad Friedel late in the first-half.
"I think we were lacking in passion in the first half, if anything," said a clearly annoyed Gareth Southgate afterwards, "I thought we were passive, and it's the first time that I'd have to question the attitude of the players."
However, with Gaizka Mendieta preferred to Lee Cattermole, and James Morrison on the left-wing and Stuart Parnaby on the right, Anti News feels the blame lies with Southgate's bizarre team selection. A line-up so muddled, in fact, that it suggests Southgate's far-too-tight training top might be cutting off the circulation to his brain.
And with that....
BACK TO ANTI NEWS INDEX
|
|
|
|
