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TIME TO START DOING OURSELVES JUSTICE 25-9-06
Udayan Mukherjee
So there we have it. Middlesbrough Football club have just frittered away their best chance of returning to the European big time by losing to Notts County and followed it up with a display of absolute ineptitude against Lancashire flat cap wearing bumpkins Blackburn.
I'm sat here writing this up around an hour after the final whistle and I'm struggling come to terms with the way our club has suddenly reverted back to 'old Boro'.
The problems that we have always faced in the past i.e. getting results against the big teams and then playing like a team of strangers; having large deficiencies in one area of the team; ambling around like particularly forgetful goldfish are suddenly resurfacing.
It keeps happening. For example, why oh why as soon as we improve an area of our team does an area that previously excelled turn to shit? Last season when our defence was in part aging and in part too young for football week in week out, we had three strikers banging in the goals left, right and centre. Now that Woodgate, Huth and even the Pogmeister are doing well, Yakubu has started to look like a poor man's version of Emile Heskey- the footballing equivalent of caviar and champagne turning into turd burgers and shite lightening (see what I did there?).
The midfield, with the notable exception of Rochemback and Downing are being made to look very average, and I say this with more than a tinge of regret, having said on record that the very same midfield had the potential to be one of the best in the country. They still may but we shall have to see.
In fact the main reason that Yak and Viduka (when he's playing) are not even remotely reaching their potential is that the midfield do not provide enough in either quality or quantity.
In part it is the manager's fault. Instead of two wide players that can stretch the opposition, we had Morrison out of position wide left and Parnaby wide right. Surely the only player that can be played with any degree of confidence is Morrison. Not Mendi, not Rape Parlour and certainly not Stuart Parnaby. Surely it's not just me that can see it, so why does it keep happening?
I wouldn't even mind if the baldy cheesy gadgie was played there, he's quite quick and can cross a ball, but please not those three: its so stupid it makes Nikki from Big Brother look like Stephen Hawking. Well not literally LOOK like Stephen Hawking, you fools. Ahem.
Even more troubling is the inability of the midfield to support the attack: its often a thirty to fourty yard gap, and instead of the central midfielders spraying the ball to the flanks and getting into the box to support they'll try and play the killer ball. With the exception of Rochemback none of them have the quality to play that ball. Even Rocky fucks it up 90% of the time. I know the saying goes 'you have to speculate to accumulate' but seriously: 'ave a word.
The fact that the Yak (N.B. not 'a Yak' as this would mean a hairy four legged creature that eats plants and that. Although currently a Yak may be a better bet up front.) and Viduka haven't as yet gelled in the way that Hasselbaink gelled with both of them means that Southgate has had his hand forced in playing one up front.
The team however have no problems against the Arsenals and Chelseas of this world. A lack of passion is not completely obvious, but surely must be one of the factors. I'm not saying we have a God given right to beat the Readings and Blackburns of this world, but surely as a better team on paper we should beat them more often than not?
Man for man, Boro should beat these teams week in week out: the last season we did this was the season we qualified for Europe via the league. As far as I can recall we only beat one 'big' team that year: Liverpool, and as far as I'm concerned we should have challenged them and Everton much more strongly than we eventually did.
What I'm saying is that it doesn't count for anything if you beat Chelsea and then lose to your rivals, or even lose to the teams you are attempting to emulate: your league position is still going to be shitter than a Mackems breath at the end of the day.
I loved it when we beat Chelsea: they gave me some of my most painful memories as a kid (bear in mind I was born in '86) and have found many of their fans to be obnoxious Cock-monkeys, but six games into it and that's our only victory.
I know that in football we live for moments. Job in the Cup final. Maccarone last minute against Basle. Promotions. Derby wins. Avoiding relegation at the expense of the Skunks. Memories of the special atmosphere of a big game.
Those moments only come after the mundane, the bread and butter. The players and we the fans must learn to break out of the apathy during nondescript ties against Notts County, Latex Underpants Lovech, and even the games that aren't against the big teams and/or Derbies.
Yet the passion and drive that we desire of an admittedly inexperienced team is ultimately lacking, something I really struggle to understand. The team is brimming with young enthusiastic players of whom many are more likely to order a Parmo from Europa than pay ninety quid for a plate of shit fare at Gordon 'Im only famous because I swear a bit' Ramsey's restaurant.
The boos that Darren Beattie talked about a few weeks ago have also reared their ugly head. As a rule I disagree with booing; its counterproductive and further separates the notion of the players playing for the fans and I would never ever boo my own team. However, the sad thing is, that it seems justified.
The good news then. The defence looks good again, Woody has made the world of difference. The attacking problems, although worrying, are rectifiable by simply getting the midfield to bomb forward to support. Euell did this to a certain extent against Blackbum, so maybe we have that attacking midfielder in out midst. With some better finishing from the one with hair like a gonk, the story may have been so different.
I hear that Yakubu has attended a motivational conference this week which hopefully will instil a little bit of confidence in the lad. From the months of September to February, The Yak was a phenomenon. Even though he has a gait that makes it look as he'll fall over any time soon he still retains that close control and bustling nature that worries defenders.
This time around, however Yak seems completely isolated by himself, and the confidence seems to be draining from him slowly but surely. He needs a partner, and either of Maccarone, Christie or Viduka could do a job.
Perhaps it is in the best interests of the club to see one of the first two given a run in the team as their playing style has always been of the second striker. The reason they didn't score regularly first time around was that they prefer to buzz around and generally pick up the pieces and they were asked to lead the line, something that they are not particularly adept at.
Maybe a run in the team for either of these obviously talented players will turn up the heat on our main two strikers as well and this is very obviously required: two decent and confident strikers can fashion chances by themselves, even without a huge amount of service, but one will struggle.
The manager seems to have accepted that the team have not been good enough and offers no excuses. It is essential Southgate, the coaching staff and players take long, hard looks at themselves, and find solutions if this is not going to be a backwards season.
It is time for the characters in that dressing room to take responsibility and help the kids along, and maybe we can start to at least do ourselves justice.
Come on Boro.
That's all folks.
NOW HAVE YOUR SAY IN THE NEW HOLGATE FORUM
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