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MIDDLESBROUGH v CHIEVO 15-8-06
Rob Dixon
Chievo v Boro and everything it made me feel.in handy numbered form.
After watching the Colin Cooper Benefit Match on Saturday, I felt so stunned by what I witnessed that I had to commit my words in Microsoft Word. Here in handy numbered points are the things that caught my slightly short-sighted eyes.
1. The Arca/Downing Combination
After around fifteen minutes of the game I, along with a few grizzled cynics in the East Lower, was heard to mutter 'hold up.this Arca fella, he's quite good!'
He and Stewie seemed to have some kind of understanding down the left that could make many Boro fans forget who Franck Queudrue (who?) is or was. Downing also looked encouragingly sprightly, with several dynamic runs down the left and one great cross that Viduka should've put away in the second half.
2. Peculiar Opposition
I enjoyed a slight titter on Saturday when Chievo were introduced as Middlesbrough's 'Champions League' opponents. They're only there because of Italian football's love of casual cheating.
Verona seemed to share that love, with their diving and general stupidity in a 'friendly'. Hats off to the fella who scythed down Adam Johnson, only to then start rolling around on the floor holding his knee in an attempt to distract the ref from giving a certain free kick. It didn't work.
3. Riggott and ?
Bates looked cool, Davies showed all the hallmarks of a closet psycho and the search for Chris Riggott's partner continues. Despite the strong personalities of Saturday's two contenders, I echo other writers on this site who suggest getting Pogo's face back together and popping in the starting XI. He's crap at left back but has always performed impressively at centre-half.
4. New Shirt Numbers
People may call me a nob for this, but I enjoy watching out for any changes in the squad numbers season by season. It was exciting to see Viduka swap his 36 for the number 9, while Parnaby has also taken on the number 2. The only concern about Parnaby is his promotion to first choice right-back still hasn't brought a competent passing ability to his game.
5. Shooting in General
Yak and Vids looked a bit lost upfront on Saturday. Rather than scoring any goals, they preferred to join in with the midfield's game of 'aimlessly passing the ball in and around the box until someone plucks up the courage to shoot'. Someone just have a crack for fuck's sake!
6. Celebrity Penalty Shootout
Boro face becoming a laughing stock this season.
Not because our new boss will begin to look increasingly similar to the old one when his hair starts going. Not even because Southgate will continue the McClaren tradition of persisting with playing Gaizka Mendieta even though his best days were over long before he came to the Boro.
No, we will be ridiculed if we continue to refer to Alaistair Griffin as a 'celebrity fan'. He managed to release one single a few years back, thanks to his appearance on that Fame Pop Academy Factor Idol thingy, that charted at 94 and he still uses it as currency to watch our games. This must stop.
The 'celebrity' shootout at half-time on Saturday should have been replaced by a literal 'shootout' whereby Mr Griffin should have been executed. However, it would be crass of me to suggest this public murder would have been half as entertaining as Robbie Mustoe rolling back the years by falling on his arse and not scoring at the Riverside.
The announcer also brought a wonderful sense of innuendo to proceedings when he said 'Well Robbie, you're off to America with those skid-marks on your jeans now'. Priceless.
NOW HAVE YOUR SAY IN THE NEW HOLGATE FORUM
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