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CHRISTOPHER BEAN'S PREMIERSHIP PREVIEW 17-3-06
Ahoy fellow ComeOnBoro shipmates! Welcome to another edition of the Premier League Preview. What a glorious night it was on Wednesday. I have never celebrated a defeat so much in all my life!
Jokes aside, we did a fantastic job considering we were against twelve men for ninety minutes. So bring on whoever we draw in the quarter-finals in just a couple of hours.
A quick recap of last week and if you had a funny reaction in your stomach last week that is because The Beanster got THREE predictions right! I correctly predicted a 1-1 draw in the relegation scrap at St Andrews, Blackburn beating Villa 2-0 and Arsenal to scrape past Liverpool 2-1. Forget Flash Harry's racing tips, cos if you were stupid enough to put a treble on that you would have got 380/1! Now let's see if I can do a similar job this week.
Everton v Aston Villa
First match of the weekend is The Toffees hosting the out of sorts Villains. Everton beat Fulham last week and are hoping to continue that form by beating O'Leary's team whose recent performances have been like Sunderland in a maroon and blue shirt. And for me its going to be the Irishman's last game in charge as Everton are going to nick a win with Deadly Doug wielding his axe at around 1730 GMT. Expect O'Dreary to complain about a young Everton fan sticking his middle finger up at him before entering the ground which caused his team to lose focus before the match.
Prediction - 2-1 Everton
Blackburn v Boro
The mighty Boro travel to Ewood Park, a place which is a burden in most fan's memories as this is where we lost the three points the last time we were relegated. Blackburn have been in outstanding form as of late and are now pushing for a Champions League spot. Boro have just endured a bruising ninety minutes in the Stadio Olimpico and also have a huge cup tie next week against Charlton. Expect Smac to ring the changes like he did last week with pretty much a second string side. We won't emulate the same scoreline last year against Blackburn when we hammered them 4-0 as I think we will be lucky to get a draw, which is what I am predicting.
Prediction - 1-1
Bolton v Sunderland
Big Sam was pissed off this past week due to poor finishing in their cup match against West Ham. So the first thing you want is a team in poor form to make amends for it. Well its Mr Allardyce's lucky day as Bolton are facing a team who couldn't win a game of bingo at the dyslexic, death, dumb and blind annual gathering. Even the most ardent Boro fan must have a bit of sympathy for the poor old Mackems. Even if they were given a point they would probably lose it. Bolton to win and Sunderland will stay level with their ladies team, who don't seem to play any games.
Prediction - Bolton 3-1
Manchester City v Wigan
It's another north-west derby as the Latics have a short journey to the outskirts of Manchester to face a confident City team who have progressed into the quarter-finals of the FA Cup. Speaking of the FA Cup, these two faced each other in the fourth round where City scraped through 1-0 thanks to a goal from Andy Cole in the last ten minutes. And I think Manchester City will nick a win again but this time it will be 2-1.
Prediction - 2-1 Manchester City
West Brom v Manchester United
Bryan Robson welcomes his mentor to the Hawthorns, and is hoping Fergie does him a favour by gifting him three points. Well I have a funny feeling in my waters (It might be the STD however) that he might do just that. United have only got the league left and can only realistically finish second. Well they are already there and have a couple games in hand over Liverpool so he won't miss the three points. A shock win for West Brom!
Prediction - 1-0 West Brom
West Ham v Portsmouth
Well The Hammers have been blowing bubbles all week after progressing to the next round of the cup, courtesy of Harewood's extra time winner on Wednesday evening. However Pompey will be full of confidence again after their victory last week, but I think that was just a blip and Mendes won't be able to produce stunning goals like that week in week out. Also Upton Park (Boleyn Ground for you anal people) has become a fortress in the East End and will continue on being so as West Ham will romp to a victory.
Prediction - 2-0 West Ham
Birmingham v Tottenham
Sometimes life isn't fair for a Premiership manager. You are striving to make sure your team stays in the league and then the fixture calendar gives you the top four teams within four games. Steve Bruce must have broken a mirror sometime this season, although he probably breaks them when he sees his reflection! -oooh bitch- But I think there will be a light reprieve for Birmingham as Spurs are shocking away from home - they drew with Sunderland for fuck's sake - and I reckon The Blues will nick a point.
Prediction - 2-2
Fulham v Chelsea
You know when a manager is starting to feel the pressure when he comes out in the media and states how many points his team needs to guarantee safety. Well Coleman made this mistake saying "Fulham need nine more points to secure Premier League football next season" just before the match against the Scousers. They were comprehensively thumped 5-1. Also recently they have been thumped by Arsenal as well on the home patch so the visit of Chelski is not highly salivating if you are a Cottager. Jose's men will walk this match and have a nice little stroll back to the Bridge, probably popping into Harrods on the way back saying 'unlucky' to Mohammed.
Prediction - Chelsea 4-0
Newcastle v Liverpool
Well on Sunday I will be completely on guard in my flat, watching out for thieving Scousers roaming around Heaton. I have a baseball bat and I am not afraid to use it! Anyway back to the match, as I predicted last week the honeymoon period would end for Mr Roeder and I was proved right as the hurricane that is Wayne Rooney ran riot on Titus and Boumsong. If a hurricane isn't bad enough, how about an earthquake of Peter Crouch jumping up and down on SJP banging in a couple of goals. All of Liverpool's front line hit the net on Wednesday night and they could do so again this Sunday coming.
Prediction - Liverpool 3-0
That's this week's column done, but check back again on Monday morning as there will be a bonus prediction column for next weeks FA Cup matches.
Keep the faith.
Christopher Bean/PRF
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