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THIS WEEKEND'S PREMIERSHIP PREVIEW 10-3-06
Christopher Bean
Ladies and gentlemen and children of all ages, Chris Bean proudly brings to you the finest Premiership Prediction column on the entire interweb. How brilliant was last night, eh? We beat the form team in Europe quite convincingly. If only we had got a second goal the tie would have been dead and buried. I am sure that growth on Mendi's chin produced enough drag to cause him to balloon the ball over the bar. But never mind, we still beat the Romans.
Before we go on to this week's predictions, a quick look back to last weekend. I finally did my first spot on prediction. Chelsea beat the Baggies 2-1 and I was bang on the money. You could have got 15/2 for that. And if Chimbonda didn't have a calamity on Monday evening it would have been another spot on. Curse you Pascal! Now on to this week's fixtures...
Birmingham v West Brom
What better way to kick off a weekend of football than a six-pointer relegation scrap. Both teams have succumbed to Boro defeats in the last couple of weeks which has elevated Boro away from the dog fight and resulted in these two teams having a straight fist fight to stay in the Premier League. And that's what I expect to see. It will be a brutal match with more cards fluttering about than in Clinton Cards, and I'm backing a draw, which will not help either side.
Prediction 1-1
Chelsea v Tottenham
Well, well, well if it isn't the two most hated teams in London going head to head at The Bridge. Does anyone from outside the M25 actually like these teams? Well I believe this match will see a dominant performance by Chelsea. They would want to put to bed the fact that Ronaldinho rang rings around their defence on Tuesday night. I also think this will be where the Spuds will start to have a cataclysmic slide down the league, culminating in them not playing in Europe next season. That's what they always seem to do anyway.
Prediction 2-0 Chelsea
Bolton v West Ham
This is the second encounter between these clubs within three weeks and is a dress rehearsal for their FA Cup replay on Wednesday. And I am expecting the same score as the last match between them, a scruffy 1-1 draw. Although I fancy the Hammers to progress to the next round of the FA Cup.
Prediction 1-1
Everton v Fulham
Both teams are now relatively safe from relegation danger and it is just a question of playing out the season for these chaps. Fulham's away form is shocking. They have only managed three points out of forty-two and I can't see them increasing that tally here. Everton have not had the best home form but I think they will just nick it.
Prediction 1-0 Everton
Portsmouth v Manchester City
Poor Harry Redknapp. He is now destined to be the first person in Premiership history to get two teams relegated in two seasons. And the fact that both teams are local rivals turns this farce into a comedy. And poor auld Harry will have more misery poured on to him as Physco Stu is going to take all three points back up to The Garlands.
Prediction 2-0 Manchester City
Sunderland v Wigan
Well Bob Murray has finally decided to put the Irish Yorkshire-man out of his misery and temporarily replaced him with the vastly inexperienced Kevin Ball. But for some bizarre reason I have a feeling that Sunderland might actually win a home game. I have no idea why the septic balls are saying this but the monkey Mackems to nick it by a goal.
Prediction 1-0 Sunderland
Blackburn v Aston Villa
Mark Hughes' Wales squad welcomes David O'Dreary's Villains to Ewood Park, which should be a quite feisty little encounter. Blackburn had a minor setback last week against the Spuds when they were narrowly beaten 3-2 in a game that could have gone either way. Villa unconvincingly dispatched Pompey by one goal to nil. I think Blackburn will over power the lads from Villa, but expect David O'Leary to complain about the fans that stand on the hill in the corner as they were putting off Milan Baros.
Prediction 2-0 Blackburn
Manchester United v Newcastle
Oh wow, another battle between two teams who would have trouble finding someone to piss on them if they were on fire. Both teams have been in rather good form of late, but Newcastle are only in good form because of Roeder's honeymoon period, and today there is going to be a hurricane to destroy their tropical paradise and pina coladas. Manchester United to steamroll the Magpies.
Prediction 3-1 Manchester United
Charlton v Middlesbrough
Boro have a tough trip to The Valley against the Jekyll and Hyde club of Charlton. The mighty Boro are on sensational form at the moment having achieved seven victories out of the last eight matches. Charlton have been consistently boring of late by drawing their last three matches 0-0. Well the Addicks fans will again hear Charlton nil... at full time, but with the added bonus of Middlesbrough one.
Prediction 1-0 Middlesbrough
Arsenal v Liverpool
WARNING TO HIGHBURY: The Scousers are coming to town. Ensure everything is locked up and make sure that your locks are locked up as those boys will nick anything. But one thing they won't nick is a point. Arsenal are starting to build some form thanks to the demolition of Fulham and the professional performance against Madrid, whereas Liverpool couldn't hit Brian Blessed with a pork pie from three feet. Also the beating they got from Benfica will hurt a lot.
Prediction 2-1 Arsenal
Well that is me done for another week. Hopefully I can kick off next week telling you how we beat Roma in the capital of Italy. And for the lads who are making the trip over, Ciao Bella! is not a woman's magazine. It means hello beautiful. Till next week. Pip pip.
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