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MIDDLESBROUGH v PORTSMOUTH MATCH REPORT
Schwarzer, Parnaby, Riggott, Southgate, Pogatetz, Maccarone, Boateng, Doriva, Queudrue, Rochemback, Yakubu
Knight, Bates, Mendieta, Hasselbaink, Viduka
Mr T was absent from the starting line up which meant that we couldn't crack any old hair jokes today so it was down to Boro to provide suitable alternative entertainment.
The Power Game was played over the tannoy fifteen minutes before kick off but the Boro team didn't run out to the tune. Nor did John Hickton run up to the Holgate End and blast a ball into the crowd.
We would have to make do with seven and a half million quid's worth of Yakubu instead.
He looked well up for it.
THE FIRST HALF
The first meaningful attempt at entertainment came after four minutes when George Boateng played a lovely ball into the centre but the cross was wasted as nobody was there to get on the end of it.
Yakubu, playing as a lone striker, started to stir as the game started to awaken and after hustling the Pompey defence, he played the ball into the middle and Hail Massimo was there to meet it.
The Italian's acrobatic volley just went wide of the target and Boro were starting to show that they meant business now.
Yakubu and Hail Massimo began to combine well and a promising one-two brought Rochemback into play with a sight of goal.
He lined his shot up, took aim and - in the couple of seconds that he had - shot true and hard, the ball carrying all the power of a bullet from a gun.
It wasn't anywhwere near the target though and ended up somewhere in the top row of the North Stand. At least it hadn't ended up in the Tees...
The Portsmouth side seemed to be full of Geordie rejects. Andy Griffin, Andy O'Brien and Laurent Robert were all in the Pompey side. Lua Lua didn't make the starting line-up due to a bout of malaria. No comment.
On twenty-five minutes, Boro were starting to look a little disjointed and were not building at all on the small amount of early momentum that they had produced.
Alain Perrin looked up at the director's box and saw Milan Mandaric staring down at him. The Sword of Damacles anyone?
Andy Griffin showed why Perrin was right to be worried when Pompey finally got an opportunity. Andy Griffin sent in a perfect ball and Da Silva had the goal at his mercy as Boro's defence went missing.
Da Silva inexplicably missed the target. How and why is anybody's guess but the truth is that he should have scored. Hail Massimo would have done.
It was a wake-up call for Boro and although the game remained scrappy, at least Boro put some more effort in. Rochemback is being criticised by sections of the Boro crowd.
His only fault is that he is trying too hard to impress. He'll come good soon. Maybe sooner than we think.
With six minutes to go until the half time interval, the crowd started to get behind the team, despite having had nothing to shout about for a good half hour.
Boro had started reasonably OK but were now looking like they were about to produce a Sunderland-esque performance.
Boro had two left backs in the side but were brutally exposed down that channel when Stefanovic took the ball clear. Luckily for us, his efforts came to nothing.
The crowd continued to try to rowse the team. Boro continued to de-entertain. They were booed off at the half time whistle...
FIRST HALF FAN REACTION
"It reminds me of when Cruyff ruined championship winning Barcelona by playing everyone out of position. Enough said."
Mike_Boro
"We have no width at all and Rocky is not giving us what we need..."
Datsun
THE SECOND HALF
Franck Queudrue was withdrawn at half time. Quite right too. What a lousy midfielder he is. I'd drop him to defence if I was manager. That was irony by the way.
But a bigger irony was what happened next. Boro had not touched the ball when Portsmouth started looking dangerous.
A swift midfield move didn't need to be so swift because there were no challengers to the attack. Very dangerous...
There were also no challengers to the cross and it was even more dangerous now...
The shot was very dangerous and became especially dangerous as the slow motion vision in everyone's head screened the ball beating Schwarzer and landing in the back of the net. It was no more than our lack of effort deserved.
MIDDLESBROUGH 0 PORTSMOUTH 1 (Neil 46 mins)
Mark Viduka and Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink prepared to come on. Out of the window went the plan for Thursday night...
And then, right out the blue and like a bolt from nowhere came the equaliser. And who better for it to come from than Yakubu. A free kick was floated in from Hail Massimo and Yakubu got on the end of it and buried it.
Unexpected but very, very welcome.
MIDDLESBROUGH 1 PORTSMOUTH 1 (Yakubu 54 mins)
Mark Viduka's presence was also very welcome. Thank God he didn't get jet-lag on the way back from Craven Cottage after Australia's win the other night.
Unfortunately it was Hail Massimo who made way for him and the hairless Italian actually received a bigger cheer from the crowd than was heard for the goal.
JFH dragged his now massive behind on to the field as a sheepish looking Rochemback made way for him.
Steve McClaren seemed to have found the instant answer to Boro's current poor form, i.e. withdraw all players who are playing in their unnatural positions and replace them with top class internationals.
The Boss should be applauded for adopting this policy as Boro were a different side with Viduka and Mendieta looking hot. Top class management in motion...
Boro seemed to have dropped their 4 (sometimes 5) - 5 (3 every now and then) - 1 (switch to 0 if they attack - but change instantly to 6-1-2-1 if they look dangerous) formation and reverted to a 4-2-2-2 formation with Mark Viduka, JFH and Yakubu all playing as lone strikers.
Confused? So were the technical team.
But our Eriksson-esque tactics nearly paid off in the sixty-eighth minute as Boro's mass strike-force combined to produce a chance for Yakubu, whose twelve-yard strike had the crowd on his feet as it rattled the side netting.
JFH was looking hungry... and Mendieta was influential, until the seventy-fifth minute when we started to lose a bit of momentum again and look as though we were finding the struggle too difficult.
INTO THE RED ZONE
Pogosticks was booked after clattering a Pompey midfielder who clearly beat him to the challenge. If you can't beat 'em, crock 'em. He can always play up front if he doesn't work out in defence.
Because you can take a horse to water but a pencil must be lead. And the only player we have who is capable of playing out of position is George Boateng and he nearly proved it when acting as fourth striker but his shot was deflected.
What price George to be second top scorer this season? Yakubu should finish first but it's unlikely that Boro will win any awards playing like this.
A massive five minutes were added on
and Boro did try to take advantage of the mammoth injury time session.
It was all very strange, especially when you consider that nobody got injured in this game.
But the whole season is strange really. We could do with a game against Chelsea or Manchester United right now. Just for the sake of three points really.
FULL TIME FAN REACTION
"What a load of bloody rubbish we were. There's something wrong because we are just all over the place. I'm not surprised the fans would rather watch it on Sky"
Harry Haverton
"At least we tried a bit in the second half. We huffed and puffed but couldn't blow the house down..."
Datsun
Full Time whistle: 1909 - Report online: 1913
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