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TOTTENHAM v MIDDLESBROUGH - SPURS PLAYER RATINGS
Robinson
Better known for having Makosi from big brother on his brand of Jam Jars.
King
Famed for horror novels and horror defensive displays. If he plays I fancy more players going past him then there has been people evacutated from the Gaza Strip.
Ziegler
Spotty German Boro reject. Oh its not him? Well who is he then?
Dawson
Finally left the creek.
Gardner
Which could possibly be a wise career choice as he ain't a footballer.
Davids
Specky four-eyed short-arse named Edgar. I bet he got picked on at school.
Carrick
Remember the film 'Twins' with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny Devito? Well if I mentioned Peter Crouch would that make you think?
Tainio
Finish midfielder who is two footed. Pity they're both left.
Keane
Some think his goal celebration where he pretends to shoot is a statement of his loyalty to the IRA. Personally I just think he's a twat.
Defoe
Crack head looking toerag with a space between his teeth bigger than the Watford gap.
Mido
Looks like he owns a kebab shop, plays like a kebab shop owns him.
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