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ROBBO TAKES OVER AT WEST BROM
Written by Steve Goldby
It's just over a year since Robbo was appointed West Brom manager and at the time, we were all wondering how on earth he got the job?
Robbo appointed Big Nige as his number two and his first game was to be against Boro. This was how we saw matters unfolding at the time of the appointment, one year ago.
Tuesday 9th November
Bryan Robson arrives at The Hawthorns for a 3pm press conference and as he enters the press room, Chairman Jeremy Peace is seen frantically consulting his fellow Directors. "That's not Sir Bobby Robson..." he is heard to say as Bryan Robson calls for some bottles of champagne to celebrate his new job.
Enter Robbo's assistant, Nigel Pearson who answers everything posed at him by the press with "What a bloody stupid question!" Between them, the pair manage to quaff the entire cache of champagne in half an hour as Peace waves his arms in the air whilst trying to call a halt to proceedings, claiming that a dreadful mistake has been made. Big Nige sticks the nut on the Chairman and orders him to belt up when The Gaffer is talking.
Robbo claims that his managerial credentials will turn West Brom into Premier League and European champions within three months, as he politely asks for another refill.
"And besides, Steve Gibson will give me all the the funds I need to waste in the transfer market", he slurs in his droll Geordie monotone. The press look on, baffled.
Meanwhile in Gosforth, Sir Bobby keeps repeating to wife Elsie over and over again, "Eee love, I'm sure I had to be somewhere today..."
Wednesday 10th November
Robbo and Big Nige hold a 'meet and greet' session for the players in the Linthorpe Hotel in Middlesbrough and whilst they arrive bang on opening time at 11:00am, none of the players are anywhere to be seen. Noneplussed, Robbo and his trusty number two get the drinks in and start plotting team tactics for their very first game against Middlesbrough. Three minutes later, the tactics talk is completed and Robbo gets down to some serious drinking whilst he awaits the arrival of his new players.
Meanwhile, the players attend training in the West Midlands, unaware that they are supposed to be in Teesside because Robbo had a few too many last night and forgot to tell them. Jeremy Peace spends the afternoon desperately trying to contact Sir Bobby Robson in an attempt to retrieve the potentially disastrous situation.
At 3:00pm, Robbo receives a phone call from Frank Burrows who proceeds to update him on the day's training. Bemused, Robbo orders yet another pint and realising his mistake, gets Big Nige to order them a taxi to The Hawthorns.
They arrive at 7:45 after stopping off at a few boozers along the way and find that the reserves are playing a home fixture against Manchester United. Robbo and Big Nige take their place in the dugout and stare blankly at the action on the pitch for fourty-five minutes and then rearrange the team's formation at half-time and totally confuse the players with their 'motivational' team talk.
United run out six nil winners and Robbo tells the lads that they were unlucky because United are class. He then sends Big Nige to find the Club Bar.
Thursday 11th November
In an interview with Central TV, Robbo claims to have the Boro game all worked out because he knows the team so well, having put the Boro side together himself. The Gaffer then catches a taxi to East Midlands Airport, where a charter flight is waiting to take him to Rome where he is due to scout some local talent. Robbo also spells out his vision of packing the West Brom side with young, up and coming talent who also possess a wealth of Premiership experience.
Big Nige takes charge of training and as per instructions from The Gaffer, immediately adopts a 9-0-1 formation with Jonathan Greening up front. The team's new defensive formation seems to work a treat as after two solid hours of practice, the ball has not hit the back of the net once. Big Nige phones Robbo on his mobile to tell him the good news. Robbo says that Big Nige can give the players the rest of the week off.
Robbo arrives in Italy, however his attempts to sign Christian Vieri, Paulo Cannizaro and Pavel Nedved are thwarted when his phone call to Steve Gibson to ask for the funds to be wired out is cut dead. Robbo goes to a little Taverna in Rome that he knows to drown his sorrows before his return flight in the late evening.
Friday 12th November
After a busy morning in the transfer market, Robbo announces his first new signings. G8 is to join on a free transfer, as he currently has no club. Tony Adams makes a return to top flight football, having recently departed Wycombe and is immediately installed as new striker. Emerson is snapped up for a nominal fee from Garforth and Paul Ince makes the short journey across the Black Country to sign for his old mentor. Branco's telephone is constantly engaged, so his signing will have to wait for now.
In another interview with the local press, Robbo waxes lyrical about his new signings and how their experience will help to stave off relegation and put the club where it belongs. Bryan also reveals the day's earlier attempts to sign Dean Windass and Craig Hignett but says that both players refused the flattering offer, citing personal ambition as the reason.
Robbo takes his new signings to a local pub to celebrate their reunion, where the drinks flow late into the night as Tony Adams entertains the lads on the piano.
Saturday 13th November
Robbo, Big Nige and the players set off for Teesside for the big game against the Boro. Halfway up the M1, Jonathan Greening, the new club captain spots his old mates in the Boro side travelling south and wonders if the driver, G8 is going in the right direction. Big Nige reassures him that The Gaffer has everything worked out to a tee. Emerson whimpers gently on the back seat, as he plots his escape back to Brazil.
The party arrive in Teesside and immediately hit the town where Robbo catches up with a few old mates and is thrown out of most of the town's nightclubs.
Jeremy Peace announces his resignation as West Brom chairman and is later seen being escorted out of the stadium by members of The WBA Supporter's Committee. Peace is later found recovering in a local hospital.
Sunday 14th November
The Boro team turn up at West Bromwich to find the stadium covered with huge 'Robbo Out' banners. The team and their new management duo are nowhere to be seen as Boro take the field and as Steve Gibson looks on, he wonders whatever he was thinking about on that early Summer's day in 1993.
Meanwhile, at The Riverside, Robbo leads his team on to the field and is baffled by the poor attendance. Presuming that Boro's popularity must have sunk to an all time low since he and his assistant El Tel were in charge, he leads the warm up session and at the appointed time, gets his lads to kick off. The game ends in a dour 0-0 draw. Robbo tells The Evening Gazette after the game that he thought his team were unlucky and that they were up against a class side.
Keith Lamb feels vindicated, at last.
Monday 15th November
The FA dock West Brom three points for failing to fulfil a fixture and El Tel arrives at The Hawthorns to help out his old pal Robbo.
Frank Skinner is appointed Baggies Chairman and as he walks into his new office for the very first time, he knocks the telephone off the desk. The phone hits the floor, landing upside down on the redial button and a frail voice with a Geordie accent is heard...
"Is that you Mr Shepherd? Eeee, I'm sure I had to be somewhere today..."
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