BACK TO ARCHIVE INDEX © All written site content is copyright ComeOnBoro.com 2004-2007, unless otherwise stated, and is not to be used without prior permission.	FULHAM 2 MIDDLESBROUGH 1, Premier League, Monday 18th December 2006 Chris Riggott heralded his return after nearly three months out in this vital bottom of the table clash at Craven Cottage. He replaced Jonathan Woodgate who missed only his second Boro game with an ankle injury. Robert Huth was still out meaning that Andrew Davies moved across to centre-back with Stewart Parnaby on the right and Andrew Taylor on the left. Emmanuel Pogatetz was suspended for after picking up his fifth booking of the season against Wigan last week. Yakubu and Viduka were deployed in attack in a 4-4-2 formation that accommodated George Boateng and Julio Arca in the centre of midfield - Arca playing in the position that he had expertly made his own against Wigan. Young James Morrison was on the right whilst Downing was on the left. Schwarzer, Parnaby (Wheater 87), Davies, Taylor, Arca (Cattermole 46), Riggott, Morrison (Johnson 73), Downing, Boateng, Yakubu, Viduka, Jones, Christie THE FIRST HALF Franck Queudrue opened the match by passing the ball to George Boateng - it was like he had never been away. That was in the sixth second - hopefully it was to set a precedent. Unfortunately it was Fulham who attacked first, with Mark Schwarzer comfortably collecting despite being pressured by Bryan McBride. The Boro won their first corner of the evening in the second minute after some good Morrison and Viduka interchange play eventually fell to Downing and it deflected over the bye-line. The corner was disappointing but not as disappointing as the Fulham burgers which tasted like crap. On three Downing curled his left-foot around the ball, whipping in a wonderful free-kick from a dead ball situation. It was destined for the top right hand corner with Antti Niemi flailing but it just sailed over, like a seventeenth century junk on the Thames. Just less boaty. Probably because Boateng wasn't involved. Boro won their second corner on five, meaning had the game been scored with corners won then Boro would be 2-0 up. But alas not even Sepp Blatter had proposed the introduction of that rule just yet. Downing whipped another strong ball in that was punched clear by Niemi. In the seventh minute another great ball by Downing flopped as the Boro once more failed to gamble. The ball bounced in the box like those of the most experienced of porn stars but unlike the porn star, Arca failed in his attempt to score. Fulham were drowning in Downing at this stage as the England star whipped ball after ball into the opposition box. But Morrison was not to be outdone by his fellow midfielder as he burst into the Fulham box before blasting a powerful shot right down Niemi's throat. The keeper barely managed to stand up let alone save it but Fulham survived as the Boro faithful hollered their support. With Boro having all the pressure, Moritz Volz ran into the Boro box and won his side a penalty. The decision was harsh on Boateng, whose trailing foot was judged to have brought down the Fulham man. Heider Helguson stepped up to take the fourth penalty the Boro had conceded in five games and, like the three penalties before, Schwarzer was once more outfoxed and Fulham took an undeserved lead. Fulham 1 (Helguson (pen), 12) Middlesbrough 0 But still Boro came. Downing was torturing the Fulham backline but again no Boro player was willing to gamble to try and latch on to the crosses. They would make bloody useless genital crabs. Fulham had started to come into the game, buoyed by the confidence gained from their early breakthrough. Schwarzer was up to the long-range shots that were blasted in but the Boro were weathering a storm blowing from the Thames. As if to demonstrate this, Fulham tore through the Boro defence with ease and Tomasz Radzinski found himself one-on-one with Schwarzer. The shot was timid, the save less so but Fulham sensed blood and an opportunity to dispatch their floundering prey. The game was open as Julio Arca thought what Radzinski could do, I could do poorer. A weak shot, twenty yards out was comfortably saved by Niemi. Wayne Routledge's pace on the right hand side was causing the Boro problem, winning a corner on twenty-one. Former Boro favourite Franck Queudrue was first to connect to the ball, with his bullet header flying just past the post, probably decapitating some poor old dear in the crowd. Zut alores! Mark Viduka was about as sharp as a tramp's nightgown as he failed to read Downing's brilliant balls into the area time and time again. It was a far cry from his performance at the Cottage two years ago where he and Hasselbaink put sword to the opposition. On twenty-four Yakubu came to life with a good bit of skill, and a shot that earned his side a corner from about twenty yards out. Downing took the set-play, the Boro earned a throw-in then Viduka should have hit it, his failing to do so meaning that the Boro faithful wanted to hit him in return. Nothing happened for the next ten minutes so I decided to mine my belly button for fluff. It was only the sound of Fulham's second goal that awoke me from my slumber. It was two against two as Fulham's attacking force tested our fragile defence, a Radzinski cross failing to be blocked as Boro forgot the basics. The defence allowed McBride to turn and shoot from twenty yards out and he made no mistake, burying it in the back of the net with the possible aid of a slight deflection. Times were worrying for Boro as the spectre of relegation loomed. Fulham 2 (McBride, 35) Middlesbrough 0 Boro were doing their best to lose this game, stroking the ball on the edge of the eighteen yard box instead of clearing the danger. Fulham kindly stole the ball from us and McBride almost scored his second and Fulham's third of the game. Niemi came out too far from goal and completely missed the ball. Instead of Yakubu or Viduka punishing the Fulham keeper, they decided to crack open the barley water and have some tea and scones on the edge of the area. I am sure they were delicious as another chance went begging. Fulham came towards the Boro once more as Queudrue showed the form that showed his former club the incredible folly of allowing him to leave in the first place. Southgate meanwhile sat disconsolate, no doubt completely clueless as to how to reverse the malaise. Remembering that my toenails needed cutting I decided to go and fetch the scissors as Radzinski had another shot that resulted from another defensive gift. Thankfully it went wide. Boro were completely reliant on Downing crosses except we all knew that no one was going to get on the end of them. Viduka and Yakubu had been poor and the two goals had been gifts. The Boro fans' comments could be summarised with one word - "unbelievable". If only that were true - sadly this was the most believable thing since flying reindeer. THE SECOND HALF Lee Cattermole replaced Julio Arca at the start of the second half in the hope that he will perform slightly less poorly than the Argentinean. Boro started brightly with Yakubu having a shot within the first twenty seconds. It was not on target however but it was a bright start at least - like an explosion in a fireworks factory. This game was threatening to be more akin to an explosion in a matchbox as Viduka latched on to a deep ball in the Fulham box and he stumbled when he should have hit it. The ball broke to Morrison however but he only managed to scuff his shot tamely towards goal. There were chances here however and there was no reason why the Boro could not get back into the game - apart from fragile confidence and woeful strikers. Still here was to hoping. Fulham then struck back, taking advantage of the away side's poor defending once more. Quicker to the ball, predicting where it would land after a clearance, this allowed Fulham to launch a myriad of long-range shots that never really tested Schwarzer. A quick trip to the toilet later, where nothing happened apart from a few rogue dribbles, and I was treated to the anticipation of Boro winning a corner on fifty-six. Downing was to take it once more and Fulham comfortably cleared, with me writing this report before the action had actually happened. Another Downing cross eluded Yakubu before Yakubu went down under the faintest of touches from Zat Knight. The Fulham fans, agitated at the poverty of the game presumably, booed the Boro man. Either that or the Boro fans were booing Yakubu for not anticipating where Downing's superlative crosses would end up. This was the pattern of the game - great cross comes in, Boro strikers fail to read it, Fulham clear, Boro attack once more. It was like a giant jigsaw puzzle with just one piece missing or an electronic toy on Christmas morning with no batteries included. All we needed now was the child throwing his toys out of the pram. There were a few possible candidates on the pitch. On sixty-three a strong Fulham cross caught Middlesbrough's defence off-guard as Schwarzer was forced into a terrific save to parry a Helguson header away from goal. A corner ensued but nothing resulted. Radzinski could have been put in for a one-on-one a minute later but thankfully the Fulham midfield made the wrong choice. A corner and a bit of a sing-song later and the status quo was resumed - with the Boro attacking but failing to succeed whilst Fulham were happy to pepper the goal less than the average condiment serving at Pizza Hut. On seventy-two Adam Johnson came on for Morrison and it seemed to do the trick. Santa was wearing white now as Fulham gifted the Boro a goal. Whether he had dyed his beard bright red to colour coordinate has still yet to be confirmed. A poor Niemi kick fell to Yakubu who laid the ball to his strike-partner Viduka. He ghosted past the defence with the grace and skill of the average Scooby Doo villain and dinked his shot beyond the hapless keeper from twelve yards out. The Boro were back in it. Niemi was left to wonder how he would have got away with it, had it not been for that meddlin' Vids. Fulham 2 Middlesbrough 1 (Viduka 73) Like two slightly overweight boxers, both sides tried to wear the other down - with first Boro and then Fulham launching timid right hooks. Both were down their respective right wings, making this writer wish he could think of a fighting duck anecdote to make a pun on launching timid right wings. On eighty-one Downing, frustrated with his strikers, decided to have a crack himself but Niemi was up to it. A minute later a Parnaby cross also fell to Downing who attempted a shot in the box. The ball broke to Taylor, he put everything behind it but only managed to blast the ball over the bar. This was deflected however and a corner presented another opportunity. This effort was cleared by Fulham but Boro sensed blood and launched another attack. In the box, the ball bounced around like Pacman having an epileptic fit but nothing came of this as Fulham once more could breathe easily. Wheater for Parnaby gave Boro more roughage at the back but whether it would plug any holes or not was a matter for debate. And nutritionists. Davies moved to the centre to accommodate the new entrant on the right whilst Boro were attempting to push forward for the point that they so desperately needed. Stoppage time was greeted by the sound of insipid clapping that, like Boro's attack, pathetically petered out towards the end. You knew the game was up when the ball wouldn't come down for Wheater. He tried a shot but it was poor, not threatening anyone except the sanity of the travelling army. The Fulham fans were whistling however, whistles that increased when the Boro were given a free kick in a threatening position. Boro piled up but again failed to expose the frail Fulham defence. The whistle blew and amid the rapturous home support, cheering as their side moved further away from the bottom three, the fact remained that the Boro had just lost another must-win game. Boro had chances but again their lack of threat was palpable. Fulham, Manchester City, Watford, Sheffield United, Reading, Blackburn - all poor sides to whom the Boro have lost - things were getting desperate. Downing's crosses were there but there was no motivation up front. There is no sharpness in our strike-force and this is demonstrated by their lack of instinct in front of goal. Viduka might as well have grown a white fluffy beard and he could have made a passable Santa Claus surrounded by his faithful donkeys on the pitch. Things aren't right and it's hard to see how they can be put right. Confidence is shot and although the Boro tried perhaps it's time to contemplate the fact that perhaps we are not good enough. January may be a key transfer time but December is a key fixture month. Charlton at home is next and is a game that we cannot lose. I personally don't have much confidence about winning it. FULL TIME FAN REACTION "Boro were always looking behind themselves and we all know who they were missing." Westham "WE ARE SHITE" Smoggy Suicide SEND THIS TO A FRIEND BACK TO FULHAM MATCH PROGRAMME INDEX
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