BACK TO ARCHIVE INDEX © All written site content is copyright ComeOnBoro.com 2004-2007, unless otherwise stated, and is not to be used without prior permission.	PORTSMOUTH 0 MIDDLESBROUGH 0, Premier League, Tuesday 30th January 2007 After the disappointing 2-2 draw at Bristol City on Saturday, Middlesbrough needed to bounce back for this Premiership game at Fratton Park. Portsmouth have been Boro's bogey side of late and it was hoped that the away side could get their first ever Premiership win against the South Coast club. The main change to the Boro starting eleven was the absence of Mark Schwarzer who picked up a back injury at Ashton Gate. Brad Jones was his replacement. With the absence of Mark Viduka for the second game on the trot, Gareth Southgate opted for a 4-5-1 formation, with Yakubu spearheading the attack on his own. George Boateng returned to the midfield after sitting out at Bristol and formed a three-man centre with Lee Cattermole and Julio Arca. Stewart Downing was on the left and James Morrison on the right. Abel Xavier was right-back and Andrew Taylor left, whilst Jonathan Woodgate and Emmanuel Pogatetz formed the centre of defence. Jones, Xavier, Woodgate, Pogatetz, Taylor, Morrison (Christie 81), Boateng, Cattermole, Arca, Downing, Yakubu (Euell 90), Turnbull, Rochemback, Davies THE FIRST HALF After winning the "Website of the Week" award in The Football Paper I had a choice to make. Either I would adopt professional match reporting standards or I would keep writing about mascots, dogs, and fornication whilst making very dodgy puns. With Portsmouth offering the possibility of a few seaman jokes going down (there's one!), quite frankly the choice was obvious. I expect my P45 in the post. It was Kanu who struck the first shot, after a mere thirty seconds. Brad Jones was at full stretch but thankfully the ball skimmed wide, cutting daisies, weeds and yaks as it bobbled harmlessly beyond the by-line. A minute later Stewart Downing pimped in a sexy ball that was only millimetres away from a flailing James Morrison. Unfortunately it beat him and his helmet whilst the Portsmouth fans breathed a huge sigh of collective ecstasy. By which I mean relief. Three minutes in and Pedro Mendes had a shot that threatened Jones' security once more. The ball bounced wide again however but with two shots already from the home side, the signs were it could be a busy evening for Boro's back-line. On eight Kanu collected the ball from a tricky throw-in and rolled his marker, turning into the box. He found himself in acres of space but at an acute angle to goal. He fluffed his shot but it was concerning that our defence merely melted in his presence. Like a poorly made ice-cream in the summer sun. Only less tasty (unless you like your hundreds and thousands to look like Abel Xavier's hair). On twelve Sol Campbell rescued his fellow defender, Linvoy Primus, from embarrassment after a mistake let Yakubu in. The former Pompey striker found himself one-on-one with David James but a fine covering challenge from the former England man spared Pompey's blushes. Meanwhile the Yak fell over. Probably. On fifteen Xavier headed the ball straight out to Primus from a set-piece. The Portsmouth man found himself free on the edge of the box but all he could do was loop the ball over the bar, not threatening Jones in goal. Downing's pace was once more causing problems. Obviously he'd be drinking his Lucozade - or perhaps eating his Green Giant sweet corn. The hope in the Boro camp was probably that he would turn into a Green Giant, terrorising the opposition in the process. The reality was probably it would just end up in the toilet bowl. Either way, on seventeen Downing won his team a corner. From the set-play Morrison got a touch, but James comfortably saved. That's how exciting it was. The game was end-to-end but not a lot was happening - apart from lots of throw-ins being given away. Boro's throw-in on the twenty-sixth minute was particularly notable, with fine over-arm action and grip on the ball. So congratulations to Lee Cattermole who wins this Month's Premier League "Throw-In Of The Month" competition. You're celebratory bottle of Dandelion & Burdock is in the post. On twenty-eight a Miguel Pedro Mendes free-kick caused havoc across Boro's back-line, allowing Benjani to steal in for a header. The ball bounced harmlessly wide but it was five-nil to Portsmouth in the shooting stakes - and they were getting closer. Morrison and Yakubu did something in the box but it was snuffed out by the Portsmouth defence before the ball reached the Nigerian. The home side were winning a succession of corners around the half-hour mark, with Primus heading wide from the last one. He stole in behind Xavier but his effort flew past the right-hand post. Boro's defence was having difficulty dealing with Portsmouth's aerial threat (they couldn't get Channel 5 for "John Barnes' Football Night" - there was relief all round). On thirty-six Jones took an almost fatal touch which almost let Benjani in. However the Boro keeper was more than up to his threat, outfoxing the enemy before punting the ball hopelessly down field. Call it one-all. And Thomson Holidays so we can go and get the ball back. On thirty-nine Matthew Taylor found himself in more space than that left behind by the average Californian Forest Fire. But like the trees, he could also be felled - fluffing his shot beyond the same right hand upright that was eluding all of the Pompey players. It was another warning (of how bad Portsmouth's shooting had been). Halftime couldn't come soon enough. Portsmouth were the better team, fizzing shots beyond the right hand post but most of them were off-target and long-range. Middlesbrough were solid without being penetrating. It would have to improve in the second half. THE SECOND HALF Boro were suffering without Mark Viduka. Not only was the frontline considerably weaker but the ball kept being given back to Portsmouth in the final third. Portsmouth meanwhile were offering equally little in the opening stages of the second half - apart from an offside flag and a bloody ankle for Arca. All we needed them to do now was to give Malcolm Christie new bloody legs and we'd be quids in. On fifty-three Portsmouth had the first shot on target this game. Benjani laid it on a plate to Pedro Mendes who snatched a shot from distance. Jones comfortably saved whilst Arca once again fell over. Two minutes later a lack of communication between Woodgate and Xavier allowed Portsmouth in for another shot that Jones parried away for a corner. The Boro were being let off time and time again - this being the tenth shot from the home side and the second in succession that was on target. The pressure was mounting and like a seventeenth century torture victim on the rack - it was only going to be a matter of time before the spine was about to break. Neither side could gain a foothold in this game, with the defences sniffing out each respective counter-attack. A long-range effort on sixty-four typified the pedestrian nature of the game. All we needed was the ten ton juggernaut to run the bastard over - either that or make him start running. On sixty-nine Taylor hit a shot over the bar from a dead ball situation. That's it. No really, that was it. Nothing else was happening. At all. It didn't come down. It just hit some poor sod in the crowd. Probably. I don't know. I don't care. Surely there was more to life than this? On seventy Portsmouth drilled the ball across the face of the six yard box that Stewart Downing cleared for a corner. A duet of 'Play Up Pompey' resonated around Block 14, Row F, Seats 124-125 as the corner was taken. It didn't inspire the home team, whose corner was easily cleared by Andrew Taylor before a Boro free-kick was awarded. On seventy-four Boro had their most threatening shots of the game. Yakubu launched in a cross and Cattermole made a hash of it. James, having evidently watched "Schwarzer's Goalkeeping Tips" punched the ball, but only to Arca. But Arca was no Scott Murray, deftly blasting it over the bar. On seventy-six Lualua cut into the box and hit a rasping right-foot shot. The ball deflected off Boateng for a corner but nothing came of the set-piece. Malcolm Christie came on for James Morrison for the last ten minutes - Boro adopting a more attacking 4-4-2 formation now they had two strikers on the pitch. Audacity from Southgate - could they make it pay dividends? Christie almost made Portsmouth pay within a minute after a good ball from Yakubu set him off. But Primus could cover, Christie not as quick as he should have been having not yet fully warmed up. The Boro were now starting to create. On eighty-five Boro ripped apart Pompey's midfield, with Arca the architect. He fed Yakubu who forced James into the save. Nothing came from the corner. On eighty-seven Jones was forced into a ragged save as the home team came at the visitors. They won a corner that Boro needed to defend. Lualua's subsequent header was poor, flying high and wide. On eighty-nine Malcolm Christie had a shot which outfoxed James. Yakubu was quick on to the loose ball but not quick enough as James managed to smother the globe. Since Boro had played 4-4-2 Boro were looking far more promising in the final third (as you'd expect). Five minutes were to be added on, a collective groan going around the stadium at the continuation of this dull affair. Boro were in the ascendancy now - which made you wonder why Boro didn't start the game 4-4-2. A Downing shot in the final minutes almost broke to Boateng after James fumbled. The on-rushing midfielder could not connect and the chance went begging once more. Yakubu was substituted with Jason Euell in the final minute, in the acceptance of a well-earned point from the game. 4-5-1 ensued. And that was pretty much that. Boro's defence was strong and although we didn't create all that much - we were good value for the point. And with the next two League games being Arsenal and Chelsea - this result was a welcome one at a traditional bogey ground. Furthermore, Boro were still unbeaten in 2007. So roll on the big guns! FULL TIME FAN REACTION "I've seen episodes of Last Of The Summer Wine that were more entertaining than that crap" A Cam Goes Wandering SEND THIS TO A FRIEND BACK TO PORTSMOUTH MATCH PROGRAMME INDEX
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