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CHEAT OF THE WEEK
Once again the Cheat of the Week panel of five have been locked away in a secret location, mulling over this week's nominations and a decision has now reached.
This week's nominations were:
Ivan Sproule (Hibernian) - Spent the whole of the Edinburgh derby falling over, diving around and generally conning the ref. Eventually went down like a sack of spuds after the slightest touch from a Hearts player, which inevitably resulted in a fellow professional getting a red card. What a dick.
James Beattie (Everton) - A carthorse who went down like a lasooed steer in the penalty area. Do you realise what a pillock you looked, you idiot? Possibly the worst attempt at a dive you are likely to see this season.
Stephen Hunt (Reading) - Was the knee deliberate, reckless or accidental? Whichever, Petr Cech is now out for six months.
Mikel Jon Obi (Chelsea) and Andre Bikey (Reading) - The red card means get off the pitch, not howl and wail like you've just been sentenced to watch the next ten England matches. Have some pride and some dignity for fuck's sake.
El Hadji Diouf (Bolton) - Two blatant dives against Newcastle which the referee fell for. There was some retribution as he was actually booked for play acting but his behaviour was so bad that Allardyce had to sub him, despite him having bagged both of Bolton's goals.
And so to the panel...
Graham Frankland:
The only thing close to a player trying to cheat is a player who commits an obvious offence but then proceeds to protest his innocence as if nothing had happened. Add to that a girlie tantrum that makes Big Brothers Nikki look positively serene, then Ladies and Gentleman I give you Chelsea's Jon Obi Mikel.
Having virtually dived on the back of his opponent to prevent him developing an attack which brought an obvious second yellow card followed by a red he suddenly became apoplectic as he realised that his afternoon had come to an early end. The embarrassing scenario of Didier Drogba virtually man handling Jon Obi off the pitch was in my view an act that should result in Mikel being charged with bringing the game into disrepute.
Get a grip of yourself ya big fanny and grow up ffs!! This contagious act then rubbed off on Reading's Andre Bikey but at least he had the excuse that the second yellow card was a little harsh.
Dave Easson
James Beattie.
I went to the game expecting a diving masterclass from Andy Johnson and to be fair he tried his best, even after Huth had knocked him into Row G of the North Stand - now THAT was very satisfying moment for me.
But Beattie's diving was a sight to behold. The second I could maybe let him off with because Andrew Davies did clout him, but the first was astonishing. His legs went all stiff as if suddenly hit by rickets. Not the footballer, the distressing complaint. No! not the footballer.
Add to that the fact that he's a Bluenose bastard!
And that he plays while chewing gum - it's disgusting and one day he'll choke on it. Don't say I didn't warn you!
Jeff Winter:
Obi & Bikey win it for me. Not exactly cheating, but when you are sent off - get off. It was like watching a match on Eston Rec on Sunday morning. Worryingly that will give local players an idea that when they are not happy they don't leave the field. That is how some local refs get assualted. Fucking Arseholes (that's the FA) should give both of them an extra games ban.
Simon Dixon:
Well, the injury to Cech might be horrendous but I don't think that Stephen Hunt dropped the knee deliberately, so I'm not giving him my vote.
Ivan Sproule definitely deserves a dishonourable mention for his terrible display. I'm sure that Tony Mowbray would be giving him a good clip round the ear for that kind of pitiful cheating were he still at Hibs. I hope that, when he looks back at the video of the match, Sproule is ashamed of himself.
Whilst, in terms of overall cheating Sproule probably deserves the award, I am going to be partisan this week and give my nomination to James Beattie for sheer comic value. It's clear that it's not just goal scoring that he can't pull off around the box - I mean, did you see that attempt at a dive?! Pathetic. Beattie you're a cheat (and a donkey.)
Steve Goldby:
It was Diouff for me because it was just so unneccesary. They were winning and winning well and I think that this guy doesn't cheat to gain a sporting advantage. I think he does it becasue he enjoys it.
Mikel was not far behind though. For crying out loud, you know the rules son and if you break them, the referee will take action. There's just no point arguing because to my knowledge, no ref has ever changed their mind about the deision they have just made.
Players like Mikel set a very bad example and make their clubs look bad by behaving in such a manner. Fucking scumbags!
And so this week we have a tie between Jon Obi Mikkel and James Beattie.
Well done chaps. Enjoy your awards, you couple of cheating slags!
Until next week.
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Cheat Of The Week wil be published every Tuesday. No bullshit. No more cheating. Enough is enough. Contact us here with your nominations for Cheat of the Week.
THE CHEAT OF THE WEEK PANEL
CHEAT OF THE WEEK INDEX PAGE
A GUARANTEED PROFIT OF AT LEAST £41.20 ON PORTSMOUTH v FULHAM
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