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CHEAT OF THE WEEK 31-10-06
It's that time of the week again when our specialist panel of finger pointers name and shame the dirty cheating swines who are out to ruin the beautiful game. And so without further ado...
This week's nominations were:
Stelios Giannakopoulos. Our nominee said the dive against Manchester United as the worst dive he'd seen so far this season.
Pedro Mendes for his hand ball on the line against Reading. Maybe it was just bad reffing but Mendes admitted afterwards that it was not accidental. Credit for the honesty but not for the incident.
Paul Robinson of West Brom. Now we are most definitely loath to criticise Tony Mowbray on this site but his claims that the elbowing incident was accidental are barely believable. If he'd have done that on Linthorpe Road on a Friday night, he's be looking at four years for GBH now.
Steven Taylor of Newcastle. Did anyone see his swallow dive in midweek in a desperate attempt to win a penalty against Portsmouth in the Carling Cup? It was so embarrassing even John Beresford brought it up on Soccer Night on Friday and told him not to do it again. Taylor is beginning to get a reputation for cheating after his comical attempts to pretend that the ball had hit him in the stomach after handling in the penalty area. We need to get a grip of him.
And so to the panel...
Graham Frankland:
It has to be Steven Taylor for me seeing as I suggested the cheating Geordie wanker in the first place. This lad is rapidly becoming such a serial cheater that he makes Jim Davidson look positively celibate!
What makes Taylor stand out is the comedy value you get from him trying to avoid detection by holding other parts of his anatomy rather than the arm that has deliberately made contact with the ball. This week's swallow dive against Portsmouth definitely had a difficulty rating of 8.5 and would have made Brian Phelps glow with envy. Mr Taylor, your time is up. You are a cheating bastard of the highest order. Surely the Geordies haven't become that desperate for wins yet have they??
Dave Easson:
Paul Robinson.
In my opinion this was on a par with Ben Thatcher. The sheer malice in the forearm smash and the look on his face is just something we shouldn't have in football, local derby or not. Robinson certainly doesn't seem the sharpest tool in the box, but a tool he most certainly is.
Jeff Winter:
I really am not in the mood to do this. After watching last night's inept performance it would be easy to nominate most of the Boro squad. The Red and White army kept on singing and supporting a team that were cheating the fans. I know it's about confidence, but are we ever going to attack away from home, pass the ball to a red shirt or look as if we want to win.
Well that's got that off my chest. I can't nominate Rocky as he is just too stupid to win it. Another booking closer to a suspension - well that's one less midfielder to give the ball away.
I won't have a go at Mendes either as this season he has been sinned against and when he does do an instinctive handball, at least he has the honesty to admit it.
Stelios is off the hook as well, mainly because he plays for a team so adept at stretching the laws to the limit, his act merely is part of a Cheat team of the century and as a team player does not deserve an individual award.
Taylor needs help, he is now a complete laughing stock, his reputation is shot but he is worth the admission money alone, just to see his antics. Not cheating, just a loony tune performing on stage.
Now Mogga can never do anything wrong and I don't believe post match he did say it was accidental, he merely protected his player and assumed innocent until proven guilty. But Robinson, who claimed he would not set out to injure a player, is either deluded or fucking daft. It was a "Thatcher" a reckless forearm smash that couls have broke Johnson's jaw. Thug of the week, cheat of the week and as the ref saw it and did send him off, how about the F.A doing more about it. I won't hold my breath!!!!
Simon Dixon:
Well in my eyes, Mendes redeems himself by being totally honest about the incident after the match. You can forgive the guy for what was probably an instinctive reaction in the heat of the moment, when he displays that kind of commendable attitude after the fact. Take note Jermaine Defoe.
Nice variations on cheating from the remaining three. However there can only be one winner in my book....Steven Taylor. Not content with playing his part in the comical defending at St James' Park week-in and week-out, Taylor is now 'pushing the envelope' in trying to lead the Toon into new areas of comedy. Some may simply see him as an imbecile who is making a laughing stock out of his team. I however like to think of him as a groundbreaking physical comic in the vein of Buster Keaton. Quickly becoming a firm favourite of CotW.
Steve Goldby:
I had trouble deciding between Taylor and Robinson but went for Robinson in the end as I consider Taylor's antics, although dishonest, to more stupid than anything else.
I watched Robinson's assault in the Brimingham game again and again and I am in no doubt that it was intentional and therefor inexcuseable. This is exactly the type of incident that this column is trying to highlight in an attempt to rid the game of them.
And so this week Paul Robinson of West Brom is the winner.
Well done Paul and let's hope your new manager can instill some of the respect that made him a great into you. Enjoy your award!
Until next week.
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Cheat Of The Week wil be published every Tuesday. No bullshit. No more cheating. Enough is enough. Contact us here with your nominations for Cheat of the Week.
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