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CHEAT OF THE WEEK 16-8-07
Steve Goldby
Cheat of the Week is back with a bang, just like the Premier League season. And with two rounds of Premier League matches gone, the ground is a little thin of cheats.
Maybe our crusade last season had a dramatic effect on the legions of divers and those who condoned their actions. Perhaps they were fed up of being on the receiving end of a Jeff Winter blastback every time their trickery was picked up by our panel?
Whether the credit for the apparent clean up in the English game so far this season is ours or not, it is nice to see.
But not everyone has seen the light yet and we'll be moving on to this week's nominations shortly.
This column was a major success last season but not everyone appreciated it. Take Robin Taylor for example.
Here's what he wrote:
What a bunch of xenophobic, anti Arsenal tossers you lot are! After
having a quick look through your Cheat of the Week column I cant believe
how many times you target Arsenal players and unashamedly point out
that this is the case due to them being foreign!!!
I see that you're following in your owners now blinkered view of
overseas players even though no one seems to recognise half your players are
form overseas and not all with a great reputation of sporting
behaviour. Wasnt it Gibson who set an ugly precedent with foreigners by signing
Boksic on 68k a week?? Never dived in/around the box did he? And of
current "mercenaries" - a word that you seem so easy to label other clubs
foreign players other than your own - dont you think Viduka likes to
cheat a little bit too? And the biggest mercenary ever is Xavier holding
out for more money to every English club hes played for, even gets
banned for drugs! Wonder why Wenger never bought him!! Hey, why not blame
Wenger for why the English football team hasnt won any honours
anyway!!!!
Tell you who did get a dodgey penalty against us this year was Boro. Do
you hear us cry and moan about it like you are? Nope!
I clicked on your Cheat of the Week column guessing that I might see
grieveances against Man Utd - hey theres a catalogue of them getting
penalties, getting players sent off etc against Arsenal - with recent
penalty awards given to Ronaldo. What I find is tantamount to a fucking
love-in with some comments. Do you guys also secretly support them too? Do
you love their dominance over you?
One last question: When are you going to have a proper, qualified
manager?
You deserve McClaren!
Some interesting observations there Robin, such as 'Wasn't it Gibson who set an ugly precedent with foreigners by signing Boksic on 68k a week?
Not exactly Robin. Bergkamp had already been in the country for some years when Boksic signed for us.
When will Boro get a proper, qualified manager? That will happen if and when Steve Gibson decided to change manager. Until then, we are happy with the proper, qualified manager we already have, thanks.
Robin has misunderstood of course as we are totally impartial here. There is no bias against anyone at all.
So without further delay, this week's nominations;
The Whole Arsenal Team
"I was at the same Premier League meeting with Arsene Wenger and (referees' chief) Keith Hackett last Tuesday, and it was agreed that simulation was going to be a big no-no this year," Sanchez said.
"Yet here there were three simulations that went unpunished. That gives people the impression they can get away with it and it didn't surprise me when the penalty was given."
*since this item was written, Lawrie Sanchez has said told Sky Sports News, "I've got to hold my hands up and say I was wrong to a certain extent." We left the nomination in anyway.
Alan Wiley
It's not the fact that he never gave one single decision to Spurs that gets Wiley in this week's nominations - it's what happened at the very end of the game that does it. The whistle was out of the pocket and on the way to his mouth at 92:57 when Sunderland started one final attack. Wiley decided to let it go and the goal went in on 93:12. Surely the game must end when the allotted time is over, whatever is going on and not when the ref feels like it? Roy Keane must have put the shits up him before the match began.
Yakubu, Middlesbrough
This is not the first time we have nominated a Middlesbrough player which shows we are totally impartial and unbiased. But if you want to vote for El Hadj Diouff instead, that is OK as he is bound to have cheated at some point this week. Did he dive or was it a legitimate spit?
Morton Ganst Pederson, Blackburn
Besides the usual falling over when the wind blows, his rolling over - Steven Taylor style - after he'd been hit by the ball after Boateng had frustratingly took a swipe at it on the final whistle, was quite frankly embarrassing and ignited the after match brawl, started by Robbie L'Oreal Savage, another who was close to being nominated.
And so to the panel...
Simon Dixon
There can be only one winner for me, and that's the whole Arsenal team. Lawrie Sanchez sums it up perfectly when he says that failure to punish diving sends out the wrong message, despite all the rhetoric of the Premier League and the referees. Looks like it could be the start of another long season. And no doubt Arsene Wenger is still prepared to turn a blind eye to it.
Dave Easson
This is a tricky one this week...
Now this may sound like I work on a regular basis with a former Premiership referee and somehow something has rubbed off on me (please, get that image out of your head....now) but Alan Wiley can play as long as he likes. He's the referee and remember, it's a "minimum" number of minutes added on.
Yakubu's arse can mean he can fall to Earth at anytime and it may not be anybody's fault. Except perhaps Sir Isaac Newton but then again he didn't invent gravity, he only got hit by the apple, thus inventing Magners.
MG Pederson, well...I quite like him, so no.
Which leaves Arsenal, and despite the fact I despise Lawrie Sanchez (and not just for his goal in the 88 final he just loves talking about), I suppose we'll have to go for Arsenal. In fact Arsenal without cheeky scampster Thierry Henry (you couldn't hate him if you found him in bed with your wife, smoking your cigars while reading your stash of porn - because he'd look so cool), are now simply Arsenal with William Gallas.
And that's a bad thing
Jeff Winter
Well let's start off the season by sitting on the fence like I usually do.
Firstly if Keith Hackett says it now August, check the calendar first. He has a habit of saying what everybody wants to hear.
Secondly how do we know that Alan Wiley was going to blow for full time? He could have been going to blow for a foul and then played advantage.
It's easy to pick on Robbie's Blackburn and also Arsenal but no - this week I have the distinct pleasure of casting my vote to Yakubu, who as a Boro fan I really want to see succeed at the club, but who realistically and hopefully will be gone by the end of August. Or sooner I hope.
His body language is cheating in itself, he does not want to be at the club and it shows. The free kick we got that led to Stewie scoring was not a foul, I think he thought he had dropped his ill earned wedge and got to the floor quickly to pick it up.
So there we have it. The very first Cheat of the Week of the 2007/08 season is Yakubu.
Send in your nominations for next week's Cheat of the Week, by clicking here.
Cheat Of The Week is published weekly. No bullshit. No more cheating. Enough is enough. Contact us here with your nominations for Cheat of the Week.
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