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CHEAT OF THE WEEK 10-10-07
Peter Owen
This week's nominations for Cheat of the Week are as follows;
Nelson Dida - AC Milan
At first, I thought it was a specialist karate manoeuvre that produces a delayed reaction that renders the victim unconscious around half a minute after the blow is delivered. But then I realised he was just a cheat, simple as that. Let's hope the hands of justice throttle him.
Henri Camara - West Ham United
Camara tried his hand at a Maradona special, but the eyes of referee Steve Tanner
were one camera in front of "Match of the Day" and need applauding. The one sin is
that the card shown to this cheat makes the rule book lean green towards leniency.
Paul McShane - Sunderland
McShane decided to kick two balls instead of the one which matters. His instant
dismissal cheated his team mates of trying to at last earn a point. However the
travelling fans paid the ultimate price, because he let their tyres down.
And so to the panel...
Dave Easson
It's got to be Dida.
Now we've all, I'm sure, been hit by a Glaswegian at one time or another, but this was more peck on the cheek than Glasgow kiss.
The pictures tell the story. He's a tart.
Graham Frankland
There really can only be one winner this week and that has to be AC Milan's big rough tough macho goalie Dida. What on earth was he thinking about pretending he had been hit with a 10lb sledge hammer when in reality he took a light slap across his cheek?
Gladly, all his actions have done is bring unanimous condemnation of his actions... even from his own employers which really does tell a story in itself.
If there is any justice in football UEFA will come down very heavy on Dida and hand him some sort of suspension which hopefully will bring him to his senses and stop him ever doing such a thing again. My feelings on this incident can be summed up in the following limerick.
There was a young man from Milan
Who took a slight slap from a fan
He fell to the floor
Like an Amsterdam whore
Now the soft twat is facing a ban
Cheat of the week? Cheat of the season is already sewn up with this one.
James Bassett
Quite a tough choice this week. I tend to think that McShane was just too slow for Alexander Hleb and his tackle on the Belarussian's tackle, while definitely deserving of a red card, wasn't 'cheating' in the truest sense. Mrs Hleb may feel differently, however.
Dida... well, yes, he made himself look a buffoon. But, let's make no mistake, the inebriated Jock who tickled his cheek shouldn't have been on the pitch in the first place.
Which leaves Henri Camara. He deliberately handled the ball to put it in the back of the net. Cheating doesn't come much more clean cut than that.
Jeff Winter
Only one winner, by a distance Dida.
Would not want him on my side in a battle, but then again perhaps we do him a disservice, perhaps the Celtic fan had a tasar in his hand!!!
And so this week's winner is Dida.
Nelson Dida should be featured on the next episode of Crime Watch UK, because he
wants jailing for trying to take away Celtic's night of glory.
His premature burial had one sole intention and we shall see how that body act,
because at least his desired intention came alive.
The bloody cheat even was taken off on a stretcher with an icepack covering his
Samba face, which was in place to try and cool down his embarrassment.
He shouldn't be kicking another ball for starters this season, because when one
stoops lower than a Male Limbo Dancers Balls, their own want a good squeeze!
The fan concerned in this incident was simply overcome with passion towards his
beloved club and his celebrating heart ran on to the pitch and no-more.
Therefore, I hope commonsense kicks in and the immediate decision taken to ban
Jock in the Box is eventually reversed.
Finally, every fan in the country should read this feature so please kick be kind
enough to kick our balls far and wide and please email us here with your own thoughts on who should be next week's Cheat of the Week.
Send in your nominations for next week's Cheat of the Week, by clicking here.
Cheat Of The Week is published weekly. No bullshit. No more cheating. Enough is enough. Contact us here with your nominations for Cheat of the Week.
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