Sanga belongs to a school of cheats called the Sky Divers. They head for the stars without any contact whatsoever, then feign injury. It is part of his game though.

Ronaldo - Man Utd

You are the king of the divers on Candid Camera. Match of the Day focussed on a penalty that was one hundred percent spot on but neglected to replay the kingfisher's dive.

Eboue - Arsenal

You struck a player in the face with a blatant hand then ran your studs down the leg of another player. You are a thug and need banning before you cripple.

Ireland - Man City

Your cheating lunge on Young-Pyo Lee was sheer uncut savagery.

Chimbonda - Spurs

Last week this snake encouraged an official to book a fellow professional. This week he actually raised the very same hand to score a goal.

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And so to the panel...

Simon Dixon

It's got to be Eboue for me. Even discounting any pro-Boro bias, what he did was disgraceful.

Either incident could have got him sent off. I didn't like the hand to Poga's face but that was nothing compared to his attempt to knack Downing. An absolute disgrace.

Side-by-side with that I'd like to nominate my 'Non-Cheat of the Week': Theo Walcott.

In the same game with seventy-five mins gone, Walcott found himself racing into the penalty area up against David "Mount Rushmore" Wheater. Wheater lunged in and whilst he didn't make contact with either Walcott or the ball, lesser players than Walcott would have gone to ground and almost certainly have got a penalty. Full marks to Walcott then for staying on his feet. We salute you, sir.

Alistair Griffin

I'll have to go with Pascal Chimbonda.

While Man City cried foul, glove makers everywhere rejoiced as Pascal Chimbonda knocked one in off his Thinsulate-clad right hand.

If throwing the ball in the back of the net wasn't bad enough, he had the cheek to run to the halfway line and celebrate in a veritable 'glove fest' with team mates.

'Glove fests' should be outlawed and so should Chimbonda.

Graham Frankland

I wondered how long it would take before our resident cheat raised his ugly head above the parapet for us all to shoot him down once more.

It will come as no surprise that I am referring to the biggest cheat on the planet, namely one Cristiano Ronaldo.

Once again he demonstrated how those long hours on the training ground practising the art of diving pays off on a Saturday afternoon.

He must practice because he is exceptionally good at it. After all, to con the referee into awarding him a penalty when in fact HE deliberately made contact with his opponent before theatrically falling to the ground is a masterstroke.

If you are on the receiving end of it, as Boro fans can testify, then it really is gut wrenchingly painful to watch. What makes it all the more sad is that his undoubted talent is not appreciated as much as it should be because of this huge chink in his armour.

So Mr Ronaldo I once again proclaim you my Cheat of the Week and suspect that you will feel really proud at your nomination.

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Referee Mike Dean was Man of the Match when Newcastle played Arsenal of late, so please take a bow. You even spotted Sanga of Arsenal cheating long before the eye of the camera confirmed you had firmly nailed another cheat.

Stephen Ireland of Manchester City committed the worst premeditated two footed lunge ever captured on camera and should have left the field in handcuffs.

Arsenal's Eboue committed two offences in the same game, both of which were caught on camera. He should now be banned because he is a licensed thug.

Chimbonda of Spurs wants his hands and his mouth tying together because he is the one player who encourages officials to book fellow players, then uses the very same hand to score a goal.

Ronaldo is the minnow I was waiting to resurface and the Kingfisher is in for a big surprise, because I too have been diving inside his season just as regularly!

As soon as I saw the Kingfisher kick the leg of the Derby defender and dive once again, I got my bead board out and started flicking my balls back and forth.

Could you imagine the uproar had the situation being reversed at the Theatre of Screams? I'm sure the mention of Andy D'Urso paints that picture to perfection.

Now let's move on because when Manchester United beat Fulham 2-0 of late, words were exchanged between both managers because of another Ronaldo-fishy dive!

This is what Ronaldo said in relation to that very incident: " I try to do my job and I try to play honestly".

Those were your very words Kingfisher therefore, if you were put in the dock and all the cameras were switched on, you would be hanged.

Yes.our Cheat of the Week has now acclaimed himself as the most honest diver that the cameras have ever captured and those chains are never coming off. We at ComeOnBoro.com will be making many parties aware of this feature.

However, please give it a kick to all your mates then when the Kingfisher turns up up at your ground, you can welcome the cheating swine with open wings...

Our own FA are a disgrace, hiding behind the men in the middle who will always make mistakes. They are not using the cameras with due care and attention.

Appeals do correct many things in life because that is their very nature. It allows the right eyes to see the wrong script and resolve it.like any other field in life.

It is only a small minority who are being allowed to escape each and every week but once you scatter unattended seeds, then the obvious will just grow and grow.

Thousands of children watch the beautiful game to learn, like we all have done in life, and to try and copy our heroes as best as we could. This is natural forever.

These youngsters will have seen our last weeks cheat - Diouf of Bolton - attempt to seriously damaged a fellow player's career and simply walk away scot free.

If that's what the FA call fair play, then what the hell is unfair? These kids also have cameras inside their minds, which replay what they believe to be the norm.

The FA are the most consistently inconsistent body I have ever seen because their laws and their actions are as far apart as England is from Italy.

The FA panel that deals with the above should be made up of ex-referees, assisted in residence by a nominated fan's voice and the inter-changing of ex-players.

That would allow ex-players to reap the benefits of seeing the game through the windows which once judged them and to learn from the masters.

Houdini could not undo the above chain of words - or unbalance their scales!

Please keep sending us you fan'tastic emails and if you agree or disagree with out expert panellists then have the balls to tell them.

Finally, the cheating scum who vandalised Billy Bremner's statue may believe they have escaped capture but St Peter has an Eternal Camera that recalls everything.

KINGFISHER - RONALDO IS CHEAT OF THE WEEK

Cheat Of The Week is published weekly. No bullshit. No more cheating. Enough is enough. Contact us here with your nominations for Cheat of the Week.