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CHEAT OF THE WEEK 20-12-07
Peter Owen
Welcome to the article that promotes honesty and relegate cheats.
We have received no letters again this week so we will move straight on to this week's nominations.
Cheat of the week nominations:
The FA
Your ongoing support to your own officials is like a plaster cast on the wrong limb.
The repercussions of this blindness and neglect have given licence to premeditated
acts of sheer violence to strengthen your hold on the backs of your weaknesses.
Pedersen - Blackburn Rovers
Pedersen was looking for Mr Clattenburg before his dive had been completed.
Gardner - Aston Villa
You are another violent cheating thug who may well have crippled Dwight Yorke.
Terry - Chelsea
You backbone many unsavoury incidents but your main cheating influence is to
always involve yourself in incidents that are not yours to mouth about.
Ronaldo - Man Utd
The Kingfisher soon showed why he is so aptly named.
And so to the panel...
Graham Frankland
This "Cheat of the Week" is getting too easy, especially when one of the nominations is a certain Mr Ronaldo.
This trophy (virtual as it is) will be known in the future as the "The Ronaldo Award" in honour of the cheatiest cheat in cheat town.
As soon as I see his name on the nominations, my mind is made up no matter why he has been nominated.
He and purple face can justify his acts as much as they like but it will make no difference except to add another award of this prize to the growing list of similar awards.
I think you get my drift now that our Portuguese "friend" is not my favourite footballer on the planet but the saddest thing of all is that an exceptional talent such as him needs to resort to such lowly acts of cheating. It makes me sick to the core.
Jeff Winter
Whilst I cannot argue with the players nominated, I am happy to go with the FA. Not, however, along the lines you suggest.
The FA think they are helping their referees by supporting them, however they are not. They say they do not wish to undermine them by stepping in when refs have given a yellow card when a red would have been more appropriate.
In fact they are hindering them. If retrospective punishment was handed out, that would actually act as a deterrent, which in time would make the ref's job easier.
The Verdict
"I try to do my job and I try to play honestly"
The above words were spoken by Ronaldo. Therefore, all one needs is a Perry Mason
to dive deep into his cunning background and a calculator to keep pace with his dives.
If one produced a red map and placed a black dot on the places where he has dived
It would look like we had been invaded by a swarm of ladybirds.
This Kingfisher is the only one I know of that eats worms because he spends more
time with his nose under grass than a mole with a rocket up its back passage.
Pedersen the Pelican should now be banned for three games because he too needs
standing in place alongside this ever growing army of enemies who disgrace football.
Dwight Yorke was very fortunate not to have been hurt by that dreadful challenge from
Gardner. He should now be banned, along with a few others of late who have set out
to deliberately stick their boot/s into a fellow player without batting an eyelid.
But that cannot be so because our gutless FA shield themselves behind referees, then stick the
most sickening of all swords deep into their honest backs.
A bloody shopkeeper would have no stock left if he let cheats wander freely without a
camera monitoring movement. For crying out loud to its thundering purpose!
But feeble minded people who sit on guaranteed piggy banks couldn't net a dead goldfish in a flooded fairground because they would seek to ask where one ties the hook.
I bet Mr Mannering's glasses fell off when he saw that panicky pizza being unwrapped
which recalls semi-final memories of coloured patriotism.
The only way to get any message across is to be utterly ruthless and never move away
from those goal posts or flinch to readdress any issue.
The wide heads will always return to re-test the water temperature, which is a blessing
because that endorses the cure and the shine on the door handle will slowly fade.
Wimps make wimps and football has more crawlers than Mother Hubbard's cupboard
has spiders. And she hasn't opened her doors since Long John Silver's parrot died.
A member of our panel praised Walcott of Arsenal last week because he chose not to
dive when he may have been tempted. That praise is now doubled and deservedly so.
Dave Easson, another brilliant member of our panel, unfortunately can no longer contribute to this feature having left our great region due to work commitments.
Therefore, may we wish Dave all the very best and thank him so much for his unique
way of wording cheats and his unsurpassable loyalty in always promoting honesty.
Please keep the emails coming in, because it's your ball, your game and your shout.
Finally God bless to all our fighting forces in Iraq and beyond and their families from every heart
behind ComeOnBoro. You're always in our prayers and how proud you make us all feel.
MAN UTD 2 - HONESTY O
THE KINGFISHER SCORES AGAIN
Cheat Of The Week is published weekly. No bullshit. No more cheating. Enough is enough. Contact us here with your nominations for Cheat of the Week.
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