|
 |
CHEAT OF THE WEEK 3-1-08
Peter Owen
Welcome to the most upfront feature the face of football has ever eyed.
It promotes honesty and relegates cheats and has no match.
Our expert panelists will be back in action this coming Monday, January 7th, after taking in the Third Round of the FA Cup. So please bookmark your seat and see how many cheats end up inside their cheating cups...
Alistair Griffin has now joined the panel, which most definitely ups the anti. Therefore,
may I extend a very warm welcome to Al on all fronts and put my goggles on again!
Ballack of Chelsea - you dived in the game against Aston Villa.
Every camera has a set of scales inside their eye and if an incident does not balance
up, then the camera blinks because someone has played a joker and shouted "Snap".
You went down so quickly in the box you actually frightened the floor. This is Perry Mason's
verdict and the only case he lost was on holiday, which is why you need watching.
Carvalho of Chelsea - you are another cheating two-footed thug.
Thankfully, you never hurt Agbonlahor and we say "Stick your apology up your arse".
Our expert panelists were nailing these two-footed cheating thugs when their actions
were on the milder side because it was bloody obvious that a player was heading
for either a wheelchair or permanent elbow crutches!
Now they are all on the bandwagon which we put the wheels on, says Perry Mason.
The offside law saw its first real test during the Manchester City v Blackburn game and wasn't
it brilliant to see the officials put their hands up and reverse their decision?
If every referee ruled with common sense, many a mishap would be avoided by such
chinwags. Refs are always blinded to some incidents and gambles are not the coin.
Consultation can corrects things, which would otherwise be left to Uncle Fester.
Likewise, assistants must stamp down their own authority and not let any single player
abuse their vital role otherwise these foul mouthed cheats will turn their volumes up!
However, is there a cure for the offside law, which was once so well understood?
Perhaps a set of double yellow lines and some multi-coloured traffic cones might cure
its hiccups. Or maybe a couple of lollipop ladies are needed to patrol the no-go areas.
I see Joey Barton of Newcastle got a transfer before the window opened. This is the same
cheating thug who called a section of the Toon Army a pack of Sid Viciousessssssss
because they dared to air their views, which were backed up by their hard earned Johnny Cash.
When society sets you free, you owe those canny lads and lasses an apology because
they aren't custard and mustard millionaires. They're called Newcastle United forever.
We wish everyone a Happy New Year and especially all our troops fighting life's evil.
Finally and most importantly, may we extend our deepest and heartfelt sympathies to all who suffered the loss of loved ones in 2007.
The world above never closes its eyes or ears. I hope those words comfort your heart
and shine an unforgettable light on so many magical memories!
God bless.
CHEAT OF THE WEEK
2008
MAGICAL MEMORIES
Cheat Of The Week is published weekly. No bullshit. No more cheating. Enough is enough. Contact us here with your nominations for Cheat of the Week.
THE CHEAT OF THE WEEK PANEL
CHEAT OF THE WEEK INDEX PAGE
|
|
|
|
