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VILLAIN OF THE WEEK 19-3-08
Peter Owen
Welcome to Villain of the Week - the most upfront feature the face of football has ever eyed. It promotes honesty and relegates villains - and has no match.
Let's move straight on to this week's nominations...
Eboue – Arsenal
You are definitely bad medicine. Referee Mark Halsey could have shown another
half dozen yellow cards at the end because you lot are clockwork blanks and
want shooting for not accepting you had drawn when you should have lost.
Terry – Chelsea
If referee Mike Dean or one of his assistants had seen your tug on Donovan
you would have been sent packing and missed the resulting penalty.
Muntari – Portsmouth
Your first card was shown because the intent to harm was clearly evident.
Your bug–tug was pathetic and it was a welcome red card.
Mellberg - Villa
Not content with an impression of the Boston Strangler, you too showed
the perfect bug-tug and saw red.
Long – Reading
A footballer is supposed to throw his heart at the opposition, not his team's
proud shirt at his manager but you are young and will learn.
Keane - Spurs
When one throws their captain's armband down upon being substituted it
sends out the wrong signals and you stand shamed in all positions!
Now over to Jeff Winter for his expert analysis...
Eboue: In truth Arsenal deserved the draw because the Adebayor goal was “good”. Nevertheless, Arsenal do like throwing the toys out of the pram.
Terry: But he’s the captain of England and can do what he likes.
Muntari: Nasty tackle and fully deserved to go.
Mellberg: Petty but still had to go.
Long: I don’t think he was throwing his shirt at the manager. He was frustrated that Liverpool got every decision. It was petulant but he will learn - possibly in the Championship.
Keane: Now this was deliberate and he should know better. Body language shows him not to be a happy bunny. We should sign him on, ten years after we tried first!!
The winner is Muntari - it was a bad tackle and he should have got the red for that one alone.
Peter's analysis
Jeff Winter blows the whistle and I wave his flag in this one-off special.
Arsenal most certainly deserved the draw. However, the way in which several of them accepted the final whistle proved that their pram wheels are on the wobble, as I predicted.
Eboue is bad medicine and according to our archives is showing no signs of cure. We won’t receive any disagreement on that one.
John Terry is everything Jeff said, plus this: “I firmly believe that the man who picks our Three Pizzas from now on will have pencilled in the long term future and excluded Terry".
Muntari of Portsmouth should have walked because all pre-mediated acts of violence
are red cards and one could see his venom gathering pace.
Mellberg of Villa behaved in a petty manner and those who do that are red faced fools.
Long of Reading was very frustrated that Liverpool got every decision but one must not throw their shirt at their manager’s long shadow. You must give as you get and hammer away until the decisions swing your way, which maturity will bring.
Keane of Spurs should know better, despite him being a very unhappy bunny as Jeff states. Should we have signed him on when he wanted to leave his burrow in Wolves?
Two other players were sent off at the weekend and many will be saying “Why has the
knobend who nominates excluded them?”
Firstly, Mido’s was not a pre-mediated act and if one looks closely at the incident, they will see that Clichy's head is a little lower than normal in his pursuit to head the ball.
Secondly, Koumas is not a lamb to the slaughter when one opens up our archives and
looks at the Bull-Headed villains who set out to cripple.
If both the above cases had the horoscope of a civil court, they would be overturned and Perry Mason will explain why.
Football has no solid foundation in place that sifts through, listens and uses the
cameras to police the game. This means that the full pitch’ure of what has taken place can never be judged under a microscope of fair play by a competent named body.
Alex Ferguson got away Scot free after his outrageous verbal attack on the referee of late. I found this beyond belief, given all that was jetted in the anger of defeat.
What a fine mess the FA creates in representing the stature of its referees. If a player is seen to have been treated unfairly, their representative immediately shelters their rights. Every official is entitled to see their rights protected and that ref was left to hang out to dry.
Jeff has awarded our Villain of the Week prize to Muntari of Portsmouth who gave
his mind to inflicting a pre-mediated act of violence.
Newcastle are going through a worse spell than a bent dictionary, so I hope this helps...
LITTLE JACK HORNER
SAT IN HIS CORNER
WATCHING MATCH OF THE DAY
IN THE LIGHT OF PITCH DARK
HE SAID ”THOSE MAGPIES LOOK LARKS
IS THEIR MESSIAH FLYING THE RIGHT WAY?”
Finally, we will be back next week as we enter the cauldron season of hot bubbles.
Villain Of The Week is published weekly. No bullshit. No more cheating. Enough is enough. Contact us here with your nominations for Villain of the Week.
THE CHEAT OF THE WEEK PANEL
CHEAT OF THE WEEK INDEX PAGE
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