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SEX AND MAN CITY 3-10-07
Toby Higgins
With more football than ever before being shown on television, fans of all clubs are able to scout out opponents much more thoroughly than previously, and thanks to the invention of one remarkably simple, but ingenious little game, the most bizarre opinions and support can be grown, carved and shaped. The game is, of course, fantasy football.
The idea of spending £100 on players to craft a side capable of making your mates look like idiots is something that, until the arrival of Roman Abramovich, was a delightfully make-believe, artificial way of proving how much you know about football, and a chance to arrogantly gloat when one of 'your' players scores a hat-trick, as though you personally had influenced it, or even scored it yourself.
Beyond the fun, it also gives a reliable and accurate analysis of which players are scoring, creating, and preventing goals, depending on their respective positions, and, with bonus points now given for the best players according to the Opta Index, even the less creative players, such as Makelele and Boateng have a chance to be rated.
Boro's highest scoring players so far this season are fairly predictable. David Wheater leads Andrew Taylor in defence, Stewart Downing is convincingly clear of the now injured Julio Arca in the midfield, and Mido is the highest scoring striker; which might have something to do with the fact he's the only striker to have scored a league goal for us this season.
With Mido reportedly declaring himself unfit until the visit of Chelsea in three weeks, and Jeremie Daldiadidere sidelined until beyond then, Tuncay Sanli can expect to be rushed back into the first team, as the solitary figure of Lee Dong-Gook doesn't seem to be causing any defenders problems.
As was suggested last week, and is described brilliantly by The Fray's song, Cable Car, everyone knows he's in over his head in this league. If only he'd used his head to better effect at Goodison at the weekend, instead of re-igniting the season long bet with Aladere and Tuncay about who can hit the frame of the goal the most before finally sticking one away.
Tom Craddock's emergence as 'the only other option' is far from an indication that our squad is wafer thin. Over recent years, most sides in the Premiership appear to have concluded that four strikers are enough; something we currently have.
Manchester United won the treble with just four strikers in Yorke, Cole, Sheringham and Solskjaer, but for us the problem is not in the numbers, it's in the quality. Playing with Dong-Gook is like playing with ten men; if he's not in a heap on the floor, he's fouling his defender, thus giving possession away. A total waste of space.
The real problem now is the loss of Arca. He gave the midfield a balance that Boateng never has, and theirs just something abit special about left footed players playing centrally. Not only that, but his and Downing's goals have been crucial so far.
Downing's performances this season have been close to the best he's ever produced in a Boro shirt; he looks lively, interested and willing to get his boots white and beat his man. Goals are a necessity for not just strikers, but midfielders too, and his three so far make him the joint highest scoring Englishman in the Premiership, alongside Frank Lampard. It's presumably Downing's reluctance to make anything like a meaningful challenge that means he'll always be a boo boy target, despite being a fully home grown England international.
In defence, Wheater has, like Andrew Taylor before him, proved that youngsters at the Boro can work their way into the first team. That he has only scored one goal all season is actually a disappointment; he provides ten times the aerial threat of, say, Peter Crouch, and is strong enough to win headers in an attacking position. The decision to use him as a striker in the dying stages against Everton demonstrates this, and is the ultimate insult to Lee Dong-Gook; a striker being replaced by a defender with your side needing to score twice.
Wheater has looked OK, even good, for large periods of this season, and while not being the most technically gifted player, or the most composed on the ball, he's in the team on merit. Alongside him, Jonathan Woodgate has gone about his business with typical unfussiness; though I can't help but hold concerns.
Maybe it's just Woodgate's relaxed, almost even emotionless playing style, but this season he looks like a player who is only running at around 70%. He doesn't look totally comfortable when tackling or jumping, and doesn't always look to be moving entirely freely.
A look at the results so far this season show that clean sheets have been hard to come by; just one in eight games, and while Woodgate has only played five of the eight, his trademark solidarity appears to be somewhat lacking this term.
It could be that he was rushed back into the team against Newcastle, having had no real pre-season due to summer surgery, and is still feeling his way back to fitness, or that he's still trying to form a partnership with David Wheater, or even that our more attack minded side doesn't give the defence the same protection it once did. Or, it could be that he is still carrying an injury, and Southgate can't afford to play without him.
Something that has always surprised me about Woodgate since his arrival is that he never goes forward for corners, which is particularly odd when you consider that our attacking threat from set plays is based almost entirely on Wheater, and now also Mido, as Arca, Boateng, Taylor, Rochemback and Downing are hardly the greatest in the air.
So why doesn't he? Is it fitness/injury related? Or tactical, in that allowing him to advance would leave just Taylor and Boateng stranded on the halfway line to prevent any resulting counter attack? Answers to the usual address; whatever that is.
Sunday's trip to the City of Manchester Stadium holds little promise of an away win, but surprise is never far away with Boro, so I'm refusing to write us off just yet; though Eriksson's side look impressive to say the least.
It'll be the first time we've faced Sven since he became a full time manager in this country, with our former manager now doing his former job. While Sven is clearly a wise and tactful manager, having achieved relative success across Europe, he, like many struggled with the national side. In fact, his successes in England can probably be summed up in four words.
Sex and Man City.
Same time next week.
UpTheBoro
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A GUARANTEED PROFIT OF AT LEAST £41.00 ON THE FA CUP FINAL
Did you know that it is possible to win money on Saturday afternoon's FA Cup Final clash between Portsmouth and Cardiff, whatever the result?
The game kicks off at 3.00pm and we can guarantee you a profit of at least £41.00, whatever the result of the match. All you have to do is follow the simple instructions below and then sit back and enjoy the game. At full-time (ninety minutes), you will be at least £41.00 better off, whatever the result of the match.
We must point out that if you want to take this bet, you should do it now because if the odds change, then the figures here will be invalidated. If they have changed, let us know and we will rework the bet for you.
You can still do this if you have a Betfair account but your overall profit will be reduced by £25.00 as you won't receive the £25.00 cashback as an existing account holder.
If you are unsure about this bet, you are most welcome to call us on 01642 223229 and we will help you as much as we can.
We're going to lay out a total of £129.00 on the FA Cup Final and we will collect £175.00 if Cardiff win, £171.24 if Portsmouth win and £170.00 if it's a draw. That's a minimum profit of 31%, a much higher interest rate than you will get in any high street bank.
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Open an account with Extrabet
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This shouldn't take you any longer than a few minutes.
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Deposit £20.00 into your new Coral account.
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Place £20.00 on Cardiff at 5.00 (4/1) with Coral.
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The £25.00 matched bet will not show in your account but you can read all about how it works on the Extrabet site. It's the purple box that says '£25 FREE BET FOR NEW CUSTOMERS' on the top right hand side. Click here to visit the Extrabet site.
If you are unsure about placing these bets, please feel free to mail us or call us on 01642 223229 and we will talk you through it, no problem at all. There is no such thing as a stupid question.
You have temporarily laid out a total of £129.00 on the FA Cup Final. I stress, temporarily... Now sit back, crack a beer open and enjoy the match.
4. Here's what happens at the end of the game. All winnings are paid out on the ninety minute result.
If Cardiff win, you collect £175.00. That's £150.00 from Coral plus a £25.00 cashback from Betfair.
If Portsmouth win, you collect £171.24. That's £146.24 from Betfair plus a £25.00 cashback from Betfair.
If it's a draw you collect £170.00. That's £145.00 from Extrabet plus a £25.00 cashback from Betfair.
5. This means that the worst case scenario on the Portsmouth v Cardiff match is a draw and you make £41.00 profit. However, if Cardiff win you make £46.00 and if Portsmouth win you make £42.24. That's a minimum profit of 31%, a much better rate of interest that you would get at any high street bank or building society.
6. It is absolutely vital that you click on the links on this page to open the accounts with the two bookies and enter the correct bonus codes or you may not qualify for the bonuses.
Also, before you place your bets, you should check that the odds haven't changed. If they have, let us know by mail or phone us on 01642 223229 and we will rework the bet for you.
Please feel free to contact us or phone us on 01642 223229 if you have any questions at all about this bet and we will help you as much as we can.
Please note that the bonuses are valid for new customers only so if you already have an account with one or more of the bookies we are using, you won't be able to do this. If that is the case, mail us or phone us on 01642 223229 and we'll create an alternative bet for you using different bookies.
This method of betting was used very successfully during the 2006 World Cup and you can read all about how it was done right here.
We guarantee this bet
It's understandable that some people will not believe that it is possible to do this. "What's the catch?" I hear you asking. My answer to that question is that we have been publishing arbitrage bets for four seasons now and literally hundreds of people have profited from following the advice on these pages.
Only twice has our refund guarantee been triggered and that was when we did all the figures wrong and sent refunds out to those who had followed our advice and made a small loss.
Our refund guarantee works like this. If this bet doesn't work like we say it will and you end up out of pocket, we will refund your losses. Simple as that.
That means that you simply cannot lose on this, whatever happens and even if we messed up the numbers.
The only stipulation here is that you must click on the links on this page to be eligible for the refund guarantee, not that you'll be needing to claim anyway. Just enjoy the profit and stay posted for many more of these throughout the season.
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