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THE GREATEST SHOT IN FOOTBALL 5-2-08
Toby Higgins
As an undergraduate student of English Language and Linguistics, the media, and specifically newspapers, play a slightly bigger role in my day to day life than for many people.
In one course, we've been looking at the use of corpus linguistics to measure the usage of certain words (we looked at racist language in various papers, for example). It can be interesting. It normally isn't.
In fact, the media in general can be pretty boring. This is particularly true in our niche, football.
It's rare that a manager says anything particularly controversial and even rarer that a player will come out shouting his mouth off about one thing or another.
We also get the same story repeated over and over when nothing much else is happening. Kevin Keegan has been appointed Newcastle manager by the way.
The current unwarranted media speculation surrounding Newcastle United is because the press are looking for the same thing they always look for; bad news, disaster, and failure. Most of the time, good news is not good news.
While in reality, due to Keegan's former connections with the club, his going back to Newcastle probably warrants slightly more attention than Roy Hodgson going to Fulham for example, journalists and reporters have blown the whole thing out of proportion so that when it all goes wrong (which it almost certainly will) they can have plenty of fun reporting it.
They can also make individuals look like fools and contrast this to the excitement surrounding his appointment; excitement they have generated themselves for exactly this purpose. In other news, Kevin Keegan appointed as Newcastle manager.
Moritz Volz, Fulham's right back and scorer of the goal which lead to the infamous "15,000 Volz" headline, made reference to how boring some football stories can get in Monday's Times.
"This is the actual door Kevin Keegan will work through", mocks the German, quoting the Sky Sports News presenter who mumbled these words as he desperately tried to plug the gap between him going on air and Keegan appearing. "Wow. The actual door. What an insight". Too true, Ritzy.
The problem is, according to Volz, that too many footballers are afraid to stick their necks on the line when speaking to the press. You can either be bold and controversial and be hung out to dry, or spout a pile of clichés and cruise through interviews saying things like "the lads played really well today", "three points are the most important thing" and "it's a great honour to play for your country".
Three players in recent memory who have done this are Dave Kitson, David Bentley and Lee Cattermole.
Kitson, most recently, claimed that he "didn't give two s**ts" about the F.A. Cup because Reading were never going to win it and he was more focused on keeping his side in the Premiership. He was slated for talking down the F.A. Cup.
Bentley withdrew from the England squad because he didn't want to be exhausted for Blackburn later in the season. He was booed upon making his England debut in 2007.
Lee Cattermole suggested that Boro fans should stay away from home games if all they are going to do is boo. He survived the national media slating but certainly lost a lot of his own fans in making his comments.
These few are the minority and this leads me to my point. The best shot in football is, without doubt, the parting shot.
Players are all too happy to make brash comments about former managers, players and clubs just days after parting company with said people.
Obafemi Martins couldn't wait to have a pop at Sam Allardyce as soon as the former Bolton manager was dismissed and we at the Boro have had several who have waited until their next transfer was arranged before launching an attack on the regime.
Massimo Maccarone was one. He claimed that he had to sit on the bench without blankets and hot water bottles. Poor lamb.
Earlier this season, Yakubu's claims that Boro lacked ambition caused outrage with fans who questioned whether Yakubu's unwillingness to run could be cited as a reason for the slow start to the season.
This week it was the turn of "home grown hero" Jonathan Woodgate. He followed Yakubu's lead and claimed that the club lacked ambition (unlike his new Champions League contenders, eleventh placed Tottenham Hotspur) and that in Juande Ramos, he now had a "proper" manager.
The "lack of ambition" card is the most pathetic card to play. Boro are not a side who are challenging the top four. But these players knew that before they signed their multi million pound deals to come here.
If players like Yakubu and Woodgate had played at their best at all times, maybe we would have been a club challenging for a place in Europe regularly.
Most Boro fans predict that Woodgate has no long term future at the top level, given how injured he has looked for during most of his career here. Boro fans also believe that if Yakubu can't be arsed, he'll stop trying in February.
To have made a profit of nearly £4million on these two players is a really good bit of business as irrespective of how good these players are "on their day", they both have egos the size of the Riverside.
It's clear enough that Woodgate was allowed to go because of the strength we have in central defence. David Wheater, Robert Huth, Emmanuel Pogatetz and to a lesser extent, Chris Riggott, are all capable of filling in at centre half. To get back what we paid for Woodgate makes the deal even sweeter.
You do wonder though. Two players have left in the space of four months and both have cited a lack of ambition as the reason for leaving. Poor excuses is what they are but Boro have got to prove that we are a club who do want to move forwards.
Both Huth and Wheater have contracts that expire in the not too distant future and as yet, no real signs have been made that either have been approached regarding new deals.
In a morally just world, neither player would want to leave. They both owe the club too much to walk away for free just yet. But this is football and that's not how it works. We have got to convince them that MFC is the place to play their football for the next four or five years.
Signing Afonso Alves does show a degree of ambition. Signing Wheater and Huth on long term deals will prove beyond doubt that the people at the top of this club are hell bent on achieving something special.
Same time next week.
Up The Boro
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A GUARANTEED PROFIT OF AT LEAST £41.00 ON THE FA CUP FINAL
Did you know that it is possible to win money on Saturday afternoon's FA Cup Final clash between Portsmouth and Cardiff, whatever the result?
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We're going to lay out a total of £129.00 on the FA Cup Final and we will collect £175.00 if Cardiff win, £171.24 if Portsmouth win and £170.00 if it's a draw. That's a minimum profit of 31%, a much higher interest rate than you will get in any high street bank.
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If you are unsure about placing these bets, please feel free to mail us or call us on 01642 223229 and we will talk you through it, no problem at all. There is no such thing as a stupid question.
You have temporarily laid out a total of £129.00 on the FA Cup Final. I stress, temporarily... Now sit back, crack a beer open and enjoy the match.
4. Here's what happens at the end of the game. All winnings are paid out on the ninety minute result.
If Cardiff win, you collect £175.00. That's £150.00 from Coral plus a £25.00 cashback from Betfair.
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Also, before you place your bets, you should check that the odds haven't changed. If they have, let us know by mail or phone us on 01642 223229 and we will rework the bet for you.
Please feel free to contact us or phone us on 01642 223229 if you have any questions at all about this bet and we will help you as much as we can.
Please note that the bonuses are valid for new customers only so if you already have an account with one or more of the bookies we are using, you won't be able to do this. If that is the case, mail us or phone us on 01642 223229 and we'll create an alternative bet for you using different bookies.
This method of betting was used very successfully during the 2006 World Cup and you can read all about how it was done right here.
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It's understandable that some people will not believe that it is possible to do this. "What's the catch?" I hear you asking. My answer to that question is that we have been publishing arbitrage bets for four seasons now and literally hundreds of people have profited from following the advice on these pages.
Only twice has our refund guarantee been triggered and that was when we did all the figures wrong and sent refunds out to those who had followed our advice and made a small loss.
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The only stipulation here is that you must click on the links on this page to be eligible for the refund guarantee, not that you'll be needing to claim anyway. Just enjoy the profit and stay posted for many more of these throughout the season.
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