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TALE OF THE TAPE - MIDDLESBROUGH v WEST BROM 26-9-08
Toby Higgins
Losing 2-1 was becoming a bit cliché in the early games of this season, so, determined to put that right, Stewy blazed over the bar against Sunderland to make sure the score was 2-0 and Dave Wheater set up Nani for Manchester United’s third in the ninety-fifth minute on Tuesday night.
Three defeats in three straight away games ain’t great but Mogga’s Baggies offer a chance to get this season back on track. If we can’t beat this lot, we’re doomed.
Seconds out, round six
LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE!
Column continues below...
Bradley Jones v Scott Carson
We have absolutely no idea why Brad Jones played against Manchester United and even though we think he’s a bit rubbish, we’re glad he did because for once he didn’t make any massive errors.
Scott Carson knows one or two things about high profile errors. Worst. England. Debut. Ever.
Jones 5 – One Cap Blunder 4
Justin Hoyte v Leon Barnett
The battle of the mediocres. Justin has got a lot to do to win over the already ‘out’ jury, despite having only played two hundred minutes of League football for the club. Who’da thought fans could be so ruthless.
Following the successful launch of the Leon Cort in Stoke, Seat Birmingham are set to release the latest in the range, the Leon Barnett.
Hoyte 6 – Seat Leon Barnett 5
Andrew Taylor v Paul Robinson
The only good thing to come from Skipper Poggy’s attempted murder of Rodrigo Possebon is that Tayls gets his place back for three games.
Paul Robinson (nutcase left back) is no relation to Paul Robinson (overweight Blackburn keeper) but the pair do have their lack of natural ability when it comes to defending in common.
Hurrah for Tay 8 – Robbo 6
Robert Huth v Gianni Zuiverloon
If there’s a God above, he’ll let Robert Huth stay fit until the end of the season. Heaven knows we need him.
Zuiverloon turned down offers from other Premier League and European clubs before signing for West Brom, claiming it was ‘the way they played football’ that attracted him to the club. This just shows how popular the Championship is in Holland. He’s also a former team-mate of Afonso Alves.
The Berlin Wall 9 – Zuiverloon 7
David Wheater v Jonas Olsson
If David Wheater is a right back, then I’m the king of Spain, which contrary to reports, I’m not.
Olsson has taken time out from writing the Jonas Brothers' fourth album to play centre half for West Brom.
Their first album, entitled “It’s About Time”, was released in 2006 and was written about the likelihood of West Brom keeping a clean sheet. Their third album “A Little Bit Longer”, released in ’08, speaks volumes.
The Redcar Rock 9 – Jonas's brother 7
Adam Johnson v Chris Brunt
Jinky’s right foot rocket against United on Tuesday night finally showed, after forty-five games for the club, what all the fuss is about.
You can only be an ex-Boro player if you have actually ever played for Boro, which sadly means that Chris Brunt’s claim to fame as having once played for Middlesbrough is a lie.
Jinky 7 – Daft Brunt 5
Gary O’Neil v Jonathon Greening
Having left Boro and spent years floundering in this country’s second tier, former Boro star and Champions League winner Greening is back to show Boro how badly they’ve missed his inability to pass forward or chip in with his fair share of goals.
Thinking about it, Gary O’Neil is just a Cruyff turn and a dodgy hair cut away from being West Brom’s skipper.
Gary O’No… 6 – Jesus, Greening… 6
Julio Arca v Kim Do-Hoen
What? Julio Arca’s back this weekend? Are you serious? Well, no, we’re not serious – like ninety-three percent of this article, we just made it up. But wouldn’t it be lovely to see the old Arca back this weekend… ahhh, it’s nice to dream.
Kim Do-Hoen, or Kim, or Do-Hoen Kim, faces the same problem as Ji-Sung Park and Lee Dong Gook in that nobody in England knows what order his names are supposed to go in.
Arca (pre-Sept ’07) 8 – Kim 6
Stewart Downing v James Morrison
On Deal or No Deal the other day, Noel Edmonds told a contestant that there was a fine line between bravery and stupidity. We’ll have to wait until Boro’s next penalty before deciding whether Southgate’s decision to let Stewy keep taking them was the former or the latter.
Singer, song writer and average footballer Morrison was told to leave Boro because "the pieces don’t fit anymore", but luckily for the fake Scot, Mogga’s Albion gave him "one last chance" to make it in the top level.
Morrison told the press this week he wishes he could have done a bit better at Boro. Don’t we all.
Stewy Downin’ 8 – James McMorrison 6
Jeremie Aliadiere v Luke Moore
Aliadiere finally gets the nod to play up front after looking increasingly frustrated on the right wing, and as he’s made it into my fantasy football team this week, he’s a sure bet to get booked in the fifty-nine minutes he plays before he gets subbed.
Luke Moore’s scoring record of about four or five a season isn’t much better that Boro’s fleet footed Frenchman but sadly, Moore tends to get them all against us.
Aladadiaeriere 9 – Moore 9
Mido v Roman Bednar
Last weekend, no less than three players in the Premiership were injured during the warm up, including Mido, who was set to start at Sunderland ahead of the most expensive bean pole in the world, Afonso Alves.
Having shaken off whatever it was that meant Mido could only sit on the bench wincing as his side's defences crumbled faster than a cookie, he starts with Jezza up top.
Having been an unprecedented failure with Hearts in Scotland, Bednar was, for some reason, snapped up by West Brom. Take note, Stewy – both of Bednar’s goals this season have come from the spot.
Light weight Mido 8 – Bednar 6
Turns out…
Teesside 83 – West Midlands Stripes 67
With three former Boro players and one player who thinks he’s former Boro ‘returning’, emotions will be running high. But against a newly promoted team, only three points will do.
Boro 3 – 1 West Brom
BACK TO THE ROCKLIFFE
FILES AND TotT INDEX
CREDIT CRUNCH RELIEF - A GUARANTEED PROFIT OF AT LEAST £47.47 ON GERMANY v ENGLAND
There's a big round of international friendlies this midweek and did you know that it is possible to win money on Wednesday evening's clash between Germany and England, whatever the result?
The game kicks off at 7.45pm UK Time and we can guarantee you a profit of at least £47.47, whatever the result of the match. All you have to do is follow the simple instructions below and then sit back and enjoy the game. At full-time, you will be at least £47.47 better off, whatever the result of the match.
We must point out that if you want to take this bet, you should do it now because if the odds change, then the figures here will be invalidated. If they have changed, let us know and we will rework the bet for you.
You can still do this if you have a Betfair account but your overall profit will be reduced by £25.00 as you won't receive the £25.00 cashback as an existing account holder.
If you are unsure about this bet, you are most welcome to call us on 01642 223229 and we will help you as much as we can.
We're going to lay out a total of £111.00 on the Germany v England match and we will collect £159.00 if Germany win, £158.47 if England win and £160.00 if it is a draw. That's a minimum profit of 42%, a much higher interest rate than you will get in any high street bank.
Here's how it's done. Just follow these simple instructions.
1. Open an account with Sky Bet .
Open an account with Betfair. It is really important that you enter the promotional code of FTB125 when prompted. This is to ensure that you receive your bonus.
Open an account with Extrabet .
This shouldn't take you any longer than a few minutes.
2. Make the following deposits into your new accounts.
Deposit £50.00 into your new Sky Bet
account.
Deposit £36.00 into your new Betfair account.
Deposit £25.00 into your Extrabet account.
3. Now make the following bets.
Place £50.00 on Germany at 6/5 with Sky Bet
.
Sky Bet will now add a £20.00 free bet to your account. Place this on Germany as well. You will now have £70.00 riding on Germany.
Back England with £36.00 at 3.85 (or higher if available) with Betfair.
Place £25.00 on the draw at 3.2 (11/5) with Extrabet .
Extrabet match your first bet up to £25 so you will now have £50.00 riding on the draw.
The £25.00 matched bet will not show in your account but you can read all about how it works on the Extrabet site. It's the purple box that says '£25 FREE BET FOR NEW CUSTOMERS' on the top right hand side. Click here to visit the Extrabet site.
If you are unsure about placing these bets, please feel free to mail us or call us on 01642 223229 and we will talk you through it, no problem at all. There is no such thing as a stupid question.
You have temporarily laid out a total of £111.00 on the Germany v England match. I stress, temporarily... Now sit back, crack a beer open and enjoy the match.
4. Here's what happens at the end of the game. All winnings are paid out on the ninety minute result.
If Germany win, you collect £159.00. That's £134.00 from Sky Bet plus a £25.00 cashback from Betfair.
If England win, you collect £158.47. That's £133.47 from Betfair plus a £25.00 cashback from Betfair.
If it's a draw you collect £160.00. That's £135.00 from Extrabet plus a £25.00 cashback from Betfair.
5. This means that the worst case scenario on the Germany v England match is England win and you make £47.47 profit. However, if Germany win you make £48.00 and if it's a draw win you make £47.00. That's a minimum profit of 42%, a much better rate of interest that you would get at any high street bank or building society.
6. It is absolutely vital that you click on the links on this page to open the accounts with the three bookies and enter the correct bonus codes or you may not qualify for the bonuses.
Also, before you place your bets, you should check that the odds haven't changed. If they have, let us know by mail or phone us on 01642 223229 and we will rework the bet for you.
Please feel free to contact us or phone us on 01642 223229 if you have any questions at all about this bet and we will help you as much as we can.
Please note that the bonuses are valid for new customers only so if you already have an account with one or more of the bookies we are using, you won't be able to do this. If that is the case, mail us or phone us on 01642 223229 and we'll create an alternative bet for you using different bookies.
This method of betting was used very successfully during the 2006 World Cup and you can read all about how it was done right here.
We guarantee this bet
It's understandable that some people will not believe that it is possible to do this. "What's the catch?" I hear you asking. My answer to that question is that this is the fifth season that we have been publishing arbitrage bets and literally hundreds of people have profited from following the advice on these pages.
Only twice has our refund guarantee been triggered and that was when we did all the figures wrong and sent refunds out to those who had followed our advice and made a small loss.
Our refund guarantee works like this. If this bet doesn't work like we say it will and you end up out of pocket, we will refund your losses. Simple as that.
That means that you simply cannot lose on this, whatever happens and even if we messed up the numbers.
The only stipulation here is that you must click on the links on this page to be eligible for the refund guarantee, not that you'll be needing to claim anyway. Just enjoy the profit and stay posted for many more of these throughout the season.
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