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TALE OF THE TAPE - WIGAN ATHLETIC v MIDDLESBROUGH 3-10-08
Toby Higgins
Wow... back at Uni already. Time flies when you’re having fun… and drinking and sleeping to the point where it is probably unhealthy.
However, times are hard and with the country in the depths of the Credit Crunch, and Boro having lost four in a row, don’t expect to see much credit handed out here.
Round seven, seconds out…
LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE!
Column continues below...
Chris Kirkland v Ross Turnbull
It often speaks volumes of a player’s ability when the thing he is most famous for is having a dad who put a bet on him getting an England cap when he was just a boy.
There is more chance of Ann Widdecombe getting an England cap than Ross ‘dull’ Turnbull.
Kirkland 7 – Turnb… yawn
Mario Melchiot v Justin Hoyte
As an away fan, there is just something likeable about Super Mario. Maybe it’s the way his locks bounce when he runs, or the way he throws himself into a challenge. Or maybe it’s the way he makes a goal-costing mistake every twenty five minutes.
Hoyte is still awaiting the verdict of the jury before he’s allowed to score anything more than a mediorce six.
Melchoit 7 – Hoyte 6
Maynor Figueroa v Andrew Taylor
It’s too early to tell if Honduras’s finest left back will play this week; he may, he Maynor.
Every night before I go to bed, I say a little prayer asking that Andrew Taylor start next week at left back. I’m saying another as I write this.
Figueroa 6 – Tay 9
Emerson Boyce v Robert Huth
Boyce can’t be that good. He doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page.
Huth is so good, he probably invented Wikipedia.
Boycey 5 – The Berlin Wall 8
Titus Bramble v David Wheater
One of these two is due a good game to make the ever-lengthening list of critics look stupid.
The other is Bumbling Bramble, who is still waiting for the first good game of his career.
U tit, Brambles 4 – The Redcar Rock 6
Antonio Valencia v Jeremie Aliadiere
Valencia is from Ecuador and almost won the FIFA Young Player award for the World Cup in 2006.
Speaking of almost winning, Aliadiere needs to start chipping in with some goals if Boro are to get anything from games away from home.
Valencia 7 – Aliadiaarfnbwkhberpjhg 8
Wilson Palacios v Gary O’Neil
The message to Boro’s ex-Pompey player should be simple. Less ankle tape, more shots on goal.
Prior to signing for Wigan, Palacios starred alongside Tom Hanks in the box office hit, ‘Castaway’.
WILLLLSSSSSSSOONNNNNNN 8 - Gary O’no… 6
Lee Cattermole v Didier Digard
Wherever there are pointless yellow cards, stray passes and childish criticism of a team who made a fairly average player into a Premiership regular, Lee Cattermole won’t be far away. Wigan are a bigger club than Middlesbrough? Just shows how thick some footballers are, s’pose.
Digard is out to prove Southgate made the right decision in letting Cattermole begin his inevitable slide down this country's football league last summer.
The future England captain 5 – Digard with a vengeance 7
Oliver Kapo v Stewart Downing
One player who stands bare chested, face to face, sword in hand against the Credit Crunch is Oliver Kapo, who gave the youth player who cleaned his boots a £30,000 Mercedes as an end of season "present". Whilst “Footballer shows off earning power” is hardly going to sell many papers, “Academy players still clean pro's boots” really is a shocker.
The only thing Stewy is giving away these days is advice to upcoming rugby stars on how to kick conversions.
Kapo 7 – Stewy Downin’ 7
Emile Heskey v Afonso Alves
I’m trying very hard to be nice about Alves, really I am. But I know which of these two I’d rather have in my starting line-up and he ain’t an over hyped, waste of space Brazilian who cost a fortune.
Heskey 9 – Alves 6
Amr Zaki v Mido
So irate was Mido when he was substituted for Zaki whilst playing for Egypt in the African Cup of Nations in 2006, that his reaction earned him a six month ban from the national team and meant the game had to be stopped whilst the argument went on.
Sounds so out of character for Mido, doesn’t it?
Expect fireworks and goals in this one.
Zaki 10 – Mido 10
Turns out…
Lancashire Athletic 68 - 73 Teesside
We don’t look like breaking teams down, most of our players are low on confidence and there seems little chance of getting anything at Wigan. This is exactly why we will probably go there, play out of our skins and score four.
Wigan 0 – 4 Boro
BACK TO THE ROCKLIFFE
FILES AND TotT INDEX
CREDIT CRUNCH RELIEF - A GUARANTEED PROFIT OF AT LEAST £43.60 ON MANCHESTER CITY v ARSENAL
The Premier League returns to action this weekend and did you know that it is possible to win money on Saturday afternoon's clash between Manchester City and Arsenal, whatever the result?
The game kicks off at 3.00pm UK Time and we can guarantee you a profit of at least £43.60, whatever the result of the match. All you have to do is follow the simple instructions below and then sit back and enjoy the game. At full-time, you will be at least £43.60 better off, whatever the result of the match.
We must point out that if you want to take this bet, you should do it now because if the odds change, then the figures here will be invalidated. If they have changed, let us know and we will rework the bet for you.
You can still do this if you have a Betfair account but your overall profit will be reduced by £25.00 as you won't receive the £25.00 cashback as an existing account holder.
If you are unsure about this bet, you are most welcome to call us on 01642 223229 and we will help you as much as we can.
We're going to lay out a total of £111.00 on the Manchester City v Arsenal match and we will collect £154.60 if Arsenal win, £155.00 if Manchester City win and £156.86 if it is a draw. That's a minimum profit of 39%, a much higher interest rate than you will get in any high street bank.
Here's how it's done. Just follow these simple instructions.
1. Open an account with Sky Bet .
Open an account with Betfair. It is really important that you enter the promotional code of FTB125 when prompted. This is to ensure that you receive your bonus.
Open an account with Extrabet .
This shouldn't take you any longer than a few minutes.
2. Make the following deposits into your new accounts.
Deposit £48.00 into your new Sky Bet
account.
Deposit £38.00 into your new Betfair account.
Deposit £25.00 into your Extrabet account.
3. Now make the following bets.
Place £48.00 on Arsenal at 6/5 with Sky Bet
.
Sky Bet will now add a £20.00 free bet to your account. Place this on Arsenal as well. You will now have £68.00 riding on Arsenal.
Back the draw with £38.00 at 3.6 (or higher if available) with Betfair.
Place £25.00 on Manchester City at 3.1 (21/10) with Extrabet .
Extrabet match your first bet up to £25 so you will now have £50.00 riding on Manchester City.
The £25.00 matched bet will not show in your account but you can read all about how it works on the Extrabet site. It's the purple box that says '£25 FREE BET FOR NEW CUSTOMERS' on the top right hand side. Click here to visit the Extrabet site.
If you are unsure about placing these bets, please feel free to mail us or call us on 01642 223229 and we will talk you through it, no problem at all. There is no such thing as a stupid question.
You have temporarily laid out a total of £111.00 on the Manchester City v Arsenal match. I stress, temporarily... Now sit back, crack a beer open and enjoy the match.
4. Here's what happens at the end of the game. All winnings are paid out on the ninety minute result.
If Arsenal win, you collect £154.60. That's £129.60 from Sky Bet plus a £25.00 cashback from Betfair.
If it's a draw, you collect £156.86. That's £131.86 from Betfair plus a £25.00 cashback from Betfair.
If Manchester City win you collect £155.00. That's £130.00 from Extrabet plus a £25.00 cashback from Betfair.
5. This means that the worst case scenario on the Manchester City v Arsenal match is Arsenal win and you make £43.60 profit. However, if Manchester City win you make £44.00 and if it's a draw win you make £45.86. That's a minimum profit of 39%, a much better rate of interest that you would get at any high street bank or building society.
6. It is absolutely vital that you click on the links on this page to open the accounts with the three bookies and enter the correct bonus codes or you may not qualify for the bonuses.
Also, before you place your bets, you should check that the odds haven't changed. If they have, let us know by mail or phone us on 01642 223229 and we will rework the bet for you.
Please feel free to contact us or phone us on 01642 223229 if you have any questions at all about this bet and we will help you as much as we can.
Please note that the bonuses are valid for new customers only so if you already have an account with one or more of the bookies we are using, you won't be able to do this. If that is the case, mail us or phone us on 01642 223229 and we'll create an alternative bet for you using different bookies.
This method of betting was used very successfully during the 2006 World Cup and you can read all about how it was done right here.
We guarantee this bet
It's understandable that some people will not believe that it is possible to do this. "What's the catch?" I hear you asking. My answer to that question is that this is the fifth season that we have been publishing arbitrage bets and literally hundreds of people have profited from following the advice on these pages.
Only twice has our refund guarantee been triggered and that was when we did all the figures wrong and sent refunds out to those who had followed our advice and made a small loss.
Our refund guarantee works like this. If this bet doesn't work like we say it will and you end up out of pocket, we will refund your losses. Simple as that.
That means that you simply cannot lose on this, whatever happens and even if we messed up the numbers.
The only stipulation here is that you must click on the links on this page to be eligible for the refund guarantee, not that you'll be needing to claim anyway. Just enjoy the profit and stay posted for many more of these throughout the season.
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