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SMOG ON THE
TYNE - QUI EST L'EQUIPE S'APPELLE LE BORO? 26-8-08
Christopher Bannister
It's an obvious one but when asked by your significant
other "What are you thinking?" never, under any circumstances,
answer truthfully.
I’m not sure if there’s a correct answer to this question but
I do know there are varying degrees of wrong-ness.
If I’d simply said ‘football’, I would have stayed in the shallow
end of acrimony. However, I divulged further what I was thinking
and stated: "Just wondering what ‘Who’s that team they
call the Boro?’ is in French"
I imagine you're probably thinking what was written all over
her face - something along the lines of "Who is this jabbering
idiot and why am I wasting my precious time listening to what
he has to say?". However, although lost on her, there is method
in my madness. My concern began when I wondered why it takes
so long for foreign players to settle in.
It took Tuncay almost four months to register his first goal
and Alves took a fair few matches to find his scoring touch.
Captain Pogatetz took a whole season to shake off his ‘Mad Dog’
tag and to lose his tendency to bleed everywhere.
Now these three are names who are the first on Southgate’s teamsheet,
but how come they weren’t sooner?
There are many reasons for slow starting foreign players.
Tuncay and Pogatetz had both come from leagues that play in
a completely different style. Moving from the Turkish league,
a competition with less emphasis on the physical side, may have
proven tough for a player whose physique is as slight as an
eleven year old's.
At the other end of the spectrum, Pogatetz arrived fresh from
the Russian League, a championship that appears to be the football
equivalent of 1920s Chicago - cold and violent.
It would not surprise me if the referee was Elliot Ness and
his fourth official an incorruptable Irishman with an alarmingly
bad Irish accent.
I digress. My point is that it could be argued that these foreign
players would have to adapt to the English Premier League.
Alves’s slow start could be put down to the fact that when we
signed him, he hadn’t trained for six weeks and that once he
had regained match sharpness, we began to see the reasons why
Steve Gibson shelled out £12.7m for him.
However, I have a different theory, or at least I was concocting
one when asked "What are you thinking?" the other day.
My idea was that the players have difficulty settling because
they’re not made to feel at home.
No one can settle into a decent working rhythm until they’re
happy with their surroundings. Although the club puts players
in delightful houses in North Yorkshire and their team-mates
make sure that they’re wives are made to feel at home (Franck
Queudrue), these cannot substitute the fact that Tuncay will
have missed all the home comforts of Turkey and the superior
law enforcement in the UK will have hampered Pogatetz’s bloodlust.
My concern was over our new French central midfielder, Didier
Digard.
Digard has spent his whole career, his whole life even, in France.
Born in Gisors, a commune to the northwest of Paris, he came
through the ranks at Le Havre before last summer moving to PSG.
He only played a bit-part in their horrorshow of a season, a
campaign where relegation was only avoided on the last day.
This points at two important conclusions. The first is that
now Boateng has left the Boro, Digard playing well from the
off is hugely important to our fortunes. Boateng was a rock
for five years and last season's attempts to play without him
were a calamitous, workshy, South American debacle.
The second point is that following his season last year, Digard
will be short on confidence as he was deemed by his manager
as not good enough for a team fighting relegation.
It was to this end that I believed that every effort should
be made to make him feel at home.
Just as Sotuhgate and Coops pampered to the Fat Aussie’s mammoth
ego by singing ‘Hallelujah Mark Viduka’, so the Boro faithful
should sing a couple of songs in French to make Dids feel like
he’s welcome.
And my conclusion was not simply a quick rendition of the Marseillaise
now and again, or a song simply saying his name. It was this:
Qui est l’equipe s’appelle le Boro?
Qui est l’equipe nous adorons?
Ils jouent dans rouge et blanc
Et ils sont absolument
Je supporte le Boro touts les jours!
You’ve probably discerned that I’m no Frenchman and i’ll happily
accept any grammatical rectifications that are forthcoming.
Of course this is all spurious nonsense and although singing
in French may get us a few Parisian YouTube fans, I don’t think
it will affect Digard's performance either way.
I suppose the point I’m trying to make is this: We need to have
faith in Southgate’s judgment, as apart from Jason Euell and
LDG, he’s done a reasonable job in the transfer market.
However, we can’t expect miracles right away. Players need time
to settle and Boro fans need to learn this lesson. There was
a reason that Tuncay, upon scoring his first goal away to Reading,
ran over to our fans and put his finger to his lips.
Digard, and especially Emnes, who has been unfairly lauded as
some sort of perfect solution to our right sided problems, will
not be world beaters from the off.
We don’t sign players like that any more as we no longer can.
Given time, they no doubt will be.
BACK TO SMOG ON THE
TYNE INDEX
CREDIT CRUNCH RELIEF - A GUARANTEED PROFIT OF AT LEAST £43.60 ON MANCHESTER CITY v ARSENAL
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