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THROUGH THE YODA SMOG
ANOTHER POINTLESS WEEKEND
Phil M King, 17 Nov 2009
With reference to the title of this article, for once I'm not talking about the Boro.
England's economy class trip to sunnier climes was more about an FA jolly than it was about preparation for next summer's fun and games in South Africa.
Sure, the match was played under similar conditions to those the team will experience in South Africa. But when only a couple of probable starters made appearances, exactly how much will Fabio Capello have learned about who does and who does not deserve to wear the shirt at the World Cup?
Column Continues Below...
Anyway, this has been a minor distraction to the major change that is taking place at the Riverside. The ginger invasion has started.
No sooner do we have one installed in the hot seat then he starts to look at bringing in an influx of the amber enemas.
Dave Kitson is rumoured to be on his way north although he will stop short of heading all the way to the land where the carrot tops run free.
This is a concerning development. It must be nipped in the bud. If it isn't, can you imagine where it may lead?
"Middlesbrough Football Club have announced that their new sponsor will be Duracell and the kit will reflect not only the sponsor's name but their corporate appearance."
"Middlesbrough Football Club have confirmed that Chris Evans will be the new announcer at the Riverside Stadium."
"Middlesbrough manager Gordon Strachan has looked back to his Celtic days to improve Boro's poor recent disciplinary record by appointing Neil Lennon to his coaching staff."
"There was drama at half-time during Middlesbrough's home match today when thousands of fans ran for the exits as their newly-signed half-time entertainer began her set. Bonnie Langford was said to be disappointed at the reaction but maintained that the show must go on."
What next? Catherine Tate giving the post-match press conferences? Mick Hucknall recording a replacement ditty for 'Pigbag'? Prince Harry giving lessons to the stewards on how to deal with a couple of thousand bladdered Geordies?
It's a good job that Harry Potter isn't for real as the club might go bankrupt if they rely on shirt sales that involve having the name 'Weasley' on the back.
Before you all start writing in and claiming that I'm anti-ginger, I'm not. I apologise for some cheap gags at the expense of all redheads but it covers a mute point. Dave Kitson?!
I thought we had sunk low enough when we got Leroy Lita and Marcus Bent but it appears that we haven't. I haven't got anything against those players, you understand. It's just that we've been there, done that and now expect more.
We must always be one step ahead if we want to succeed. Relate that in football terms and we must always be one league ahead
To be successful in Europe, you need World class players.
To be successful in the Premier League, you need international class players.
To get into the Premiership and stay there, you need Premiership players.
I think I may have spotted the problem with the Boro.
I guess we've got to let the Christmas elf get on with it and see if his plan works. Who knows - he may have a few Aces and Diamonds up his sleeves. As long as they're not red herrings, we'll be fine (sorry, I'll stop in a minute).
Is Strachan trying to build a team around a strike force, leaving us with a goalkeeper and ten forwards? At least that way, we're more likely to see a goal.
Hang on - can anyone remember whether Jimmy Glass is ginger?
Yodasmog
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Comments On This Article
Tommy, November 18, 2009 at 10:18 am
A little bit of gingeritis here isn\'t there? I\'m sure we\'d have taken Paul Scholes 10 years ago (or right now for that matter!)
Clearly Kitson isn\'t the best ginger footballer in the world, but I\'m willing to bet he\'ll be our top scorer after two months. The only problem is, I live in Holland, and over there we get rubbish value on all betting. Check out this comparison from last week\'s World Cup qualifiers! http://www.tiny.cc/
It\'s time for an open gambling market.
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