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HUGHES' VIEWS
THE MEAN MACHINE
Peter Hughes, 13 Nov 2009
With our own dear Marlon King starting an eighteen month sentence recently, I was wondering if you could get a team of footballers who had done time at her majestie's pleasure.
Poor Marlon would not get picked in this eleven which would at their peak run rings round the current Boro team.
Goalkeeper:
Former Colombian goalkeeper Rene Higuita is renowned for the famous "scorpion kick" on the goal line against England way back in 1995.
But he's also infamous as, two years earlier, he spent seven months in jail after acting as a go-between for two drug barons, Pablo Escobar and Carlos Molina, in a kidnapping incident. Higuita delivered the ransom money, thereby helping to secure Molina's daughter's release. However he was paid around $64,000 to do so and in Colombia it is an offence to profit from a kidnapping.
Column Continues Below...
Defence:
Former England full back Gary Charles was jailed on three occasions.
In 2004, firstly he got six months for dangerous driving. Shortly after his release, he was sent back to jail when, in order to go on a Spanish holiday, he cut off his electronic surveillance tag.
Two years later, while on a suspended sentence for attacking a woman at a taxi rank, he was sentenced to another year behind bars for threatening a bouncer while drunk.
Many England fans remember Terry Fenwick's inability to stop Diego Maradona when he scored that wonder goal in the 1986 World Cup quarter final.
However, the Geordie defenders inability to stop drinking cost him five years later when he was sentenced to four months in prison for drink-driving.
In 1990, Arsenal and England skipper Tony Adams committed the same crime as Fenwick when he crashed his car into a wall when he was found to be more than four times over the legal drink-drive limit.
He was later sentenced to four months in prison.
Former England international Peter Storey played over 500 matches for Arsenal as a tough tackling full back. A member of Arsenal's famous 1971 double-winning side, nine years later, he was jailed for three years for financing a plot to counterfeit gold coins.
Ten years later, he was sentenced to 28 days in prison for attempting to import pornographic videos from Europe.
Other crimes Storey was involved in include car theft and running a brothel in 1971!
Midfield:
Former Wales, Man United and Chelsea midfielder Mickey Thomas is probably best remembered for his free-kick for Wrexham that beat Arsenal in the FA Cup in 1992.
The very next year he was sentenced to 18 months in prison for his part in a counterfeit money scam. Thomas was caught after passing fake notes, which he had printed, to the apprentices at the welsh club.
In 2008, Newcastle United midfielder Joey Barton was jailed for six months for assault and affray.
The lovable geordie scouse was caught on camera hitting one bloke twenty times before bravely battering a teenage boy and leaving him with broken teeth.
Barton has a long and varied par sheet including driving offences and beating up team-mate Ousmane Dabo on the training ground.
Midfielder Mark Ward was a decent pro while playing for Everton, Manchester City and the hammers.
In 2005, he was arrested after four kilos of cocaine were found during a raid at his house. He got an eight-year jail sentence for drug trafficking. He also opted not to name his accomplices for a lighter sentence.
In 2005, Jermaine Pennant was sentenced to 3 months in prison after being found guilty of drink-driving and driving while disqualified.
He had been arrested after 'doing an Adams' and crashing his car into a lamppost. He had no insurance, failed a breathalyser test and was serving a 16-month driving ban at the time of the incident.
Attack:
Scotland, and ex Newcastle striker Duncan Ferguson was actually jailed for his actions on the pitch.
Ferguson had head-butted a Raith Rovers defender while playing for Rangers in 1994. He was charged with assault and, because it was his fourth such conviction, he served 44 days in Glasgow's notorious Barlinnie prison.
After helping Manchester United to a European Cup triumph in 1968, George Best was named European Footballer of the Year.
His biggest crime wasn't failing to turn up for the Boro after big Mal 'signed' him, but one year later when his alcohol problems landed him in jail.
He was convicted of drink-driving and assaulting a policeman, and was jailed for 3 months. Best spent a sober Christmas in Pentonville Prison.
Further arrests for drink driving and related offences and a brawl with a press photopgrapher followed.
Manager:
Former Marseille coach Rolland Courbis would be ideal for the job.
The man who signed former Boro star Fabrizio Ravanelli, was also guilty of accepting transfer bungs between 1997 and 1999.
He was sentenced to a two-year jail term. The French police actually arrested him during a match.
Chairman:
Every team needs a strong chairman and former Athletico Madrid owner Jesus Gil is the obvious choice for the Mean machine.
Having made most of his money in the construction business, he was jailed in 1967 when one of his buildings collapsed, killing 58 people.
In October 2000, Gil, the man who took Juninho from the Boro, was then sentenced to six months in jail after being convicted of prevarication and embezzlement.
And we thought Charlie Amer was bad!
Up the Boro!
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Comments On This Article
john stewart, November 14, 2009 at 10:54 am
LOL anyone would run rings round boro\'s team even the team above at the age and fitness they are currently at !!!
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