Be on the lookout for a new breed of 'Evil Manc' computer viruses that could seriously affect / infect your PC. There are many varieties of this virus, each affecting your computer in a different way. Details of each Variant of this virus are shown below.
Too much screwing and not enough scoring
The Manchester United virus - This is where the computer develops a memory disorder and forgets about every thing before 1993.
The Manchester United shirt virus - Designed to drain your bank account, this one is especially hard to detect as it changes its format every three months.
The David Beckham virus - This affects newer computers mainly. The computer looks great, all the lights are on, but nothing works.
The Roy Keane virus - Throws you out of Windows.
The Alex Ferguson virus - The computer develops a continuous whining noise. The on screen clock runs a lot slower than all the other computers in the building.
The Solskjaer virus - Will take numerous attempts to get into the net, often failing completely.
The Ryan Giggs virus - The computer develops a processor problem whereby it thinks it's better than it actually is. It also experiences dramatic fluctuations in performance.
The Fabien Barthez virus - You just can't save anything.
Laurent Blanc virus - Makes your Computer go really slow and creates big holes in your Hard-Drive!
The Phil Neville virus - The worst of all, ruins all memory of basic functions and programmes, randomly delivering data to the wrong goal. Also weakens all communications within the network.
Dressing Room virus - Appears when the system fails. Reboot may be dangerous.
