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THE MIDDLESBROUGH FOOTBALL CLUB DRINKING GAME
Century commentary, let's face it, can sometimes be a little bit repetitive. So what better way to make it more interesting than to ply yourself with drink whilst listening to it? And this is where we can help- with the ComeOnBoro.com drinking game, apparently approved by Robbo, Paul Merson and Gazza.
It will be somewhat difficult to play this drinking game at the match- unless you do it with Coca-Cola. But then that doesn't really give the effect desired of a drinking game and would merely give you a painful headache some twelve hours too early as the killjoys have banned alcohol, smoking, swearing, flags, atmosphere and people having a good time from the Riverside concourses.
So the best way to do this is either;
1. Record what happens in the match and play later
2. Only play this if one of our matches is being televised or highlighted on MOTD
3. Play during the Century commentary with Ali and Bernie
So get your drinks, pull up a stool and let's begin. Play until you get bored, the room(s) go swirly or one of you gets taken to hospital. Measures are one sixth of a gill of a spirit of your choice. One bottle signifies one measure.
Bernie in the days before he started turning people to drink
Alistair Brownlee sounds like he's climaxing as Boro approach the opposing end
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Brownlee says it is possible we can easily qualify for Europe
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Brownlee refers to Bernie Slaven as a 'Living Legend'
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Bernie Slaven says the phrases 'daisy-cutter', 'hospital ball' or 'sniffer'
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Bernie Slaven has to restrain Brownlee/ bring him back down to earth
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You hear the phrase 'Exclusive Match Commentary'
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You hear an advert for HS Interiors ("look for the Smiley House logo")
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Gaizka Mendieta balloons a shot over the bar from 30 yards out
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Massimo Maccarone falls over
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Maccarone falls over but it leads to a penalty
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Steve McClaren says he was happy/ proud with the way we played
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Szilard Nemeth is brought off the bench...
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.and he scores
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Each yellow card
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Each red card
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Franck Queudrue concedes a penalty
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The size of the crowd is commented upon
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A commentator shouts 'It's red!' when a player is sent off
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TV cameras focus upon a kid or a fat-bellied semi-naked man in the crowd
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Steve McClaren gives us a flash of that god-awful grin
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Brownlee says that "This is a game we must look to win"
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Mark Schwarzer gets beaten at his near-post
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Mark Schwarzer gets beaten in a one-on-one
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Alistair Brownlee makes an awful pun on the name of a player or referee
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Optimistic talk of European football next season permeates the air waves after yet another heavy defeat
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Steve McClaren says we deserved to win even when we didn't
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Alistair reminds us that the show is sponsored by Mandale Fine Furniture
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You agree with Bernie's choice of man of the match.
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Bernie doesn't name a man of the match
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Burping and farting are permitted but vomiting, spitting, singing (in a non-terrace chant kind of a way), hugging (men or women), collapsing on to people's shoulders and heavy petting lead to instant disqualification. Toilet breaks cannot last longer than five minutes unless unavoidable as decreed by unanimous verdict.
Some drunk people
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