ROBBIE SAVAGE'S TOILET PROBLEM
Robbie Savage was caught short and handed a hefty fine for using the referee's toilet...
Poor Robbie Savage, sat there broken-hearted,
Fined £10,000 and he hadn't even started,
Simply for using the toilet set aside for Graham Poll,
After a course of antibiotics, without warning, took its toll.
He was caught with his pants down and so he took the rap,
Just for being found in the referee's trap,
It was not, as some have said, a Robbie Savage prank,
Nor did he use the official's loo simply to swank.
Immediately it was realised that the poor man had sinned,
It wasn't very long before the F.A. men got wind,
Bogged down with bureaucracy, the power inside them swells,
But the punishment they handed out, to me, quite frankly, smells.
Within a matter of moments the officials had got a whiff,
And the penalty, which they imposed, was certainly very stiff,
Most of the football writers were later seen to frown,
Perhaps now, Mr. Savage won't take this sitting down.
I'd imagine when he heard the fine he almost had a fit,
Simply for going where he did to have a quiet sit,
I don't know what the result was, after he'd been and gone and done it,
But, if my memory serves me well, I think that his team won it.
I'm sure that the referee, contrary to rumour,
Would have seen the funny side as he has a sense of humour,
Then the F.A. men decided, just for seeking relief,
To impose a stupid penalty which, to me, beggars belief.
Had the emergency situation been totally reversed,
And had the referee been the one ready to burst,
I wonder what the fine 'd have been if, indeed, 't were any,
Had Mr. Poll then played away, just to spend a penny?
I believe that Mr. Savage is a decent sort of man,
Who'll find it hard to see £10,000 go down the pan,
For such a minor misdemeanour the punishment seems unreal,
And my advice to Robbie is to instantly appeal.
How the F.A. can decide on such a fine I find mysterious,
And what will they now do if the deed is something serious?
One name springs to mind and you all know whom I mean,
His book has just been published and you can read it if you're keen.
His explanation, now in print, has been well and truly slaughtered,
But will the F.A. now decide he should be hung, drawn and quartered?
No, I think not; the opportunity will be missed,
Because of who he is they might simply slap his wrist.
Is it possible we now may see the result for which I'm yearning?
That is the record being wiped clean from this renowned seat of learning,
I feel sure the majority of decent people will join with me and say,
The financial penalty in this case should just be sweet F.A.
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